The Christmas Pantomime

2 ugly sisters were fighting over a mirror when ........

Snowy called the PC guy .....

"HI I'm PC Plod" Oh no you're not!..............."Oh yes I am.............What's going on 'ere then" he said to the 2 ugly sisters. "Give me that paper (mirror)" then separated it in two. "You have this half and you have that half" he exclaimed "and when you've read them swap with each other, and let's not hear anymore about it" with that he left the room..........................Oh yes he did.........................Oh no he didn't...................Just then in came...........

Snow Beige (it was a politically correct panto and the equalities facilitator at the theater said if it was snow white it wouldn't reach out to ethnic minorities) She had some vegetable from the garden that she was going to cook for her small people (the equalities facilitator said that calling them drwarves was discrimanting against those who were underheight and wouldn't reach out to those in the community who were short). Happy, Dopey and Doc took the vegetables and started the meal (because the equalities facilitator said that if Snow Beige cooked the meal it would send a message to young females in the audience that cooking was a womans job and it would reinforce stereotypes) ........

Dopey said 'what's a fillie tater' ' thought us diabetics couldn't have taters?'

The 2 ugly sisters laughed at dopey and they were just about to pull him by the ears when .........

I was the main character in Chicken Licken at school, was only 5 and didn't half fluff my lines, turned out a comedy lol. My fav panto is The Pirates of Penzance

Shouted oi uglys leave dopey alone fancy ..........

Sorry folks, but the equalities facilitator has just sent a memo to say that we can't call him Dopey or make fun of him as we are discriminating against those with a mental disability and we need to be more inclusive to make others feel they won't be mocked. Any suggestions for a new name. Also they want to know if Doc is actually medically qualified or is he a bit of a quack, in which case he should be in the Ugly Duckling. Oh and it's not fair on ugly people to point out they're ugly as it gives them inferiority complex.
Will keep you posted with any other problems highlighted by equalities facilitator. I'm surprised we've not heard from Elf and Safety yet.......