The food of life, or, Brother, Can You Spare a Pancreas?

This is a response to an older thread, originally posted by Bubblezzz, titled "My old life is over " on June 9 2012, but also addresses pervasive attitudes among diabetics about carbohydrates, food, and eating in general.

What I see in a lot of diabetes forums, is an almost holier-than-thou attitude towards carbohydrates. Something along the lines of "all carbohydrate-based foodstuffs are made of refined flours; desserts are made of cheap high-fructose corn syrup, or that pasta and bread are just bland "****" anyway, so you shouldn't miss them. But I think the issue is more complex than that, and I don't believe many of us were necessarily eating poorly.

Prior to diagnosis, I did not indulge in what a person might consider junk food--never tasted a Pop Tart, Doritos, crisps, or white bread from the supermarket. The kinds of foods I miss are painstakingly kneaded buttery pâte feuilletée (puff pastry) from a patisserie, the basis for beautiful food like goat-cheese and caramelized onion tarts, and banana pain au chocolat. I have no idea what a curly wurly tastes like, but I will always long for the artisanal chocolates made by SOMA in Toronto (particularly their Costa Rican chocolate bars with flecks of Maldon salt, and their rich Mayan hot chocolate). I enjoyed artisanal baguettes and rosemary ciabatta loaves from small local bakeries. I don't believe that rice-based dishes like authentic seafood Spanish paella, mushroom risotto topped with pancetta and Grana Padano, or fresh handmade pasta from Mantua stuffed with roasted pumpkin and tomatoes grown on premises, and cooked with wine from the vineyard next door constitutes "****".

Unfortunately, the pancreas isn't so discriminating. And a starch is just a starch to a gland, so that a risotto may as well be a bag of crisps.

The user carraway was kind enough to quote a diabetic child's poem about "sugar being pathetic". I am sorry, but I don't entirely agree with this sentiment. Sugar is harmful to a diabetic, but I honestly cannot convince myself that when I visited Laduree that I thought the colourful arrangement of sugary macarons weren't beautiful, nor can I stop marvelling at the craftsmanship that goes into handmade sourdough bread at Poilâne.

I don't know if the stance that many diabetics take that "carbs are evil" is an act of self-preservation, or a sincere article of faith, but for me, the problem is simply that my pancreas is broken.

I have a metabolic disorder. No amount of execrating the agricultural industry, or indignation towards a loaf of sourdough bread will fix that.

As a postscript, I never appreciated how diabetic unfriendly the world was (and how strong diabetics are), until I walked through a department store today. Between the canteen with its delectable stacks of cheese panini, the window displays of pastel-coloured Easter Godiva confections, the aroma of bubbling soup, the hundreds of people happily enjoying their lunches--curries and Chinese food heaped on noodles and rice--and children on school holidays eating ice cream sundaes and popcorn, without a care in the world, I truly felt like a broken person. Detached from the rest of humanity.

I was reminded of a conversation from the film The Thin Red Line, when Jim Caviezel's character asks Sean Penn "Do you ever feel lonely?", and Penn answers, "Only around people".

No apologies necessary, and I apologise if came across as antagonistic or negative towards the forum.

Just a rambling, thinking out loud kind of post from me.

Mostly, I get the impression that many diabetics cope with cutting out carbohydrates from their diets by telling themselves that all carbs are "junk"--from Mars bars to store bought pasta. All carbs are created equal to a pancreas, but not all of us were indulging in junk food. The carbs that I'll miss are local goods like artisanal ciabatta, salted caramel tarts from my favourite patisserie, homemade mushroom risotto, and good quality chocolates.

For me, it's utterly disingenuous to say that ALL the carbohydrate-rich foods that diabetics must give up, nolens volens, were "junk"--a packet of factory-produced crisps and frozen TV dinners may legitimately count as junk food, but chicken pot pies made from scratch with homemade stock, and linzer cookies, while laden with carbohydrates, are not what I would consider junk.

My pancreas can't tell the difference, but I can. It's the lovely homemade food that I'm going to miss. The quality breads, and beautifully crafted desserts made under the supervision of masterful French pastry chefs like Nadege Nourian. Cooking and eating formed such an important part of my life. I have so few vices--I don't drink, or smoke. Food was one of the few pleasures I had in life, and if I'm honest with myself, while I haven't so much as touched a starch since my diagnosis in January, I would be LYING if I said every moment hasn't been miserable, or a constant tussle to choose foods for my health.

pavlosn said:

Dear Touchett

I would not mind your post if I did not detect an elitist, snobbish undertone to it.

What you are basically saying to all that were kind enough to offer help and advise to you is that it is ok for them giving up or restricting carb intake because they were eating **** anyway, while it is a real sacrifice for you because you are a food connoisseur who only ever had the finest food with fancy French names and no doubt price tags to match.

What a pile of dog's excrement!

A hand rolled Havana cigar, lovingly rolled on the thighs of the last remaining Cuban virgins, may be some people's idea of the finest life can offer. It is probably as far removed in terms of price, image and probably taste ( I am a non smoker so I would not know) from a cheap roll up-your-own cigarette, as you can get. But you know what? To me they are both ****! They are both just as harmful.

Get the analogy?

We are not the ones making a value judgement about carbs, qualitative or otherwise.

We are being realistic. We are diabetic and know that we need to control our carb intake in order to better manage our condition.

End of story! We accept it adapt and get on with our lives.

It does not mean that we do not miss what we may have had to give up, even if that for some of us may be some humble French fries rather than your fine hand crafted pommes frittes with a sprinkling of oregano from Guatemala or whatever.

You can wallow in self pity as much as you like. Stare enviously at kids enjoying their ice cream even.Slightly pathetic if you do not mind me saying but probably harmless enough.

What you can not do is come here and disrespect the very people that have tried to help you.

Grow up!

Pavlos

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

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Good morning, Pavlos.

"What you can not do is come here and disrespect the very people that have tried to help you."

First, that wasn't at all the intention of this post, though I've obviously offended you, so for that I apologise. Nothing I've written here is directed at the people who were kind enough to reply to my first posts here--I certainly wasn't raised to requite humanity and compassion with spite. I am saddened you've misread it that way.

I don't pretend to be a food connoisseur of any kind, I've never even dined at a Michelin star restaurant. I cooked rather than bought the majority of my meals (dishes that would be considered peasant French fare, seasoned with regular herbs, your cutting remark about Guatemalan oregano duly noted), and I certainly don't begrudge anyone enjoying their crisps! What I'm responding to are posts that I'm reading in various diabetic forums, where users will pronounce that "all carbs are **** anyway, good riddance to not eating junk you won't miss "--I'm merely saying that this statement isn't entirely true. I'm sure many of us have fond memories of cooking a humble dish of meat and potatoes with our mothers--these are the dishes that I don't think qualify as junk, but wonderful homemade meals like Scandichic's fish pies and pancakes.

I could get into a conversation here about how long it took Darwin's finches took to adapt to their environment and grow beaks, but my point is, some species adapt better than others. I concede that I'm not as courageous as many of the members here. And I don't deny it.

I don't believe I was staring in envy at the crowds of people enjoying their food. Only wistful that I'm not one of their number anymore, which I am allowed, whether anyone approves of it or not.

Scandichic said:

I suppose the thing about diabetes is that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't! Initially, I thought that the whole thing was due to my hedonistic life style and lack of exercise but then the more I've read , the more I've come to the conclusion that in my case it's probably poor life style choices and rubbish genes combined! Although 80% of diabetic t2 are obese, 80% of obese people are not diabetic. But then I was 5 stone overweight and obese is 2 stone overweight so who knows? I am lothe to voice this opinion outside of this forum as I have been repeatedly told by others that I've brought this upon myself. Will probably get told I'm delusional! I have already been described as left of field and idiosyncratic. Am really stressed about my lovely but lazy year 11 kids who still have outstanding coursework, don't attend any after school sessions and my hospital appointment because I am being difficult by refusing to stuff my face with carbs. The joys of being a grown up! What I really want to do is stay in bed, do no work, win the lottery eat peanut butter on toast with a strong cup of coffee and magic away the diabetes but I think I'll just have to bite the bullet and carry on! What diet do you follow?

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I think I'm managing it poorly, in so much as my strategy consists of not eating very much. These days I drink a glass of unsweetened almond milk (1 gram of carb per cup) for breakfast, with a sliver of whole grain bread (you know those whole grain slices that are 14 grams of carbs per slice? I've been cutting them into fourths or fifths, so it takes me almost a week to eat a slice of bread), spread with a teaspoon of unsweetened peanut butter.

Lunch is usually an egg, with either leftover chicken breast, or 2 strips of bacon once a week, and lettuce.

Dinner is typically a chicken breast, and if I'm feeling adventurous, half a cup of roasted carrots. I'm told that carrots when cooked, are a disaster, but I can only take so much more of lettuce before I go mad and join the feral rabbits at Watership Down.

I think I lost the genetic lottery too, Scandichic. My mum and dad are in their mid-sixties and don't have it--knock on wood--but an uncle on my mum's side has it, and my paternal grandparents. I'm a home cook like you, and ate out perhaps once a month. I already gave up staples like white rice and bread years ago, and walk my dog everyday. So what happened?

What do you typically eat these days? Any ideas how I can adapt this recipe for Dorie Greenspan's chicken basquaise: http://individual.utoronto.ca/montag/food/chickenbasquaise.html (from my now defunct food blog, and yes I took the pictures. Sometimes, I'm convinced I took up cooking, just as a pretext to take photos of my meals....)

I'm dreading my appointment with a diabetic clinic in April. I fear the endocrinologist and dietician are just going to repeat the same advice as the CDA, and that it's not going to allow me to expand my food options much. My fasting glucose went down from 8.6mmol in January 27, to 3.7mmol on February 20 (I'm told, this number is on the low side). My HbA1c is down from 7.7% to 6.4%, which took about six weeks.

Karbstruck said:

Hi touchett,
I must say that my mouth was watering when I read your descriptions of the delicious dishes that you miss. I too love fine foods and can feel somewhat wistful that I can't indulge in so many culinary delights.

The way I deal with it is to think of all the wonderful meals I have had in the past and feel glad that I have certainly had my fair share over my 67 years. Maybe you being younger might make a lot of difference though.

Whenever I feel the injustice of not being able to eat what I like, I remind myself of how much healthier I feel since reducing my blood sugars and losing 10kg in weight, though I still have a way to go. I know that I couldn't have continued the way I was, without becoming very ill, so I see my changes in diet and exercise as a positive plan of action. I just hope that I can stick to them for the long haul.....with maybe an occasional indulgence.

Today I attended a diabetes course with a dietician, who said that we needed to have a small portion of carbs with each meal, as carbs were necessary for brain function and that we might be less mentally alert without them, so you can see that here in Australia they follow the same guidelines. I tactfully remained silent when she said this, as I didn't see any point, for the group, if I disagreed. This session was followed by a trip to the local supermarket to learn to read labels, but the emphasis was on looking for reduced fat, sugar and salt. She didn't even mention carbs.

Although I don't slavishly count carbs, I have eliminated sugar and grain products from my diet. As I have only been diagnosed with type 2 for 3 months, I have not yet experimented with more adventurous meals, but I see this as a future challenge.

So, when faced with all the delights we can't have, lets think about how much healthier we are and that if we put some thought into being creative with our cooking, we may be able to produce at least some delectable dishes.

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Karbstruck, I have to own, however petulant and childish as it sounds, that my age is a factor in my distress about this diagnosis. I'm 31, so not young (and I cannot even imagine the grief of a type 1 child and their parents), but not quite done with youthful excesses yet--so I do feel a little deprived. Is that hedonistic and self-indulgent? Yes, but I am still very much in the stages of trying to grapple with this illness. And it's been an ugly struggle.

You say you've eliminated sugar and grain products. May I ask how your energy levels are? I find that since restricting my carbohydrates, that I have been feeling very weak, and my mental acuity, isn't quite there. I've been having the most difficult time getting through a novel, when I used to read multiple books in a week. I realise a lot of us put little stock in the dietary advice given by official diabetic organizations, but what fuel is everyone else here using? Are you getting your carbohydrates from vegetables, proteins, or fats? I just feel so enervated, and I can barely stand up at times, without feeling dizzy.

Good luck on your meal preparations!