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The Weepies and feel SO Guilty

M

maxies-mom

Active Member
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37
Location
South Africa
Hi All
Any "veterans" out there who can help? I am a pretty capable single mum to two towheaded boys, the youngest of which just got diagnosed 3 weeks ago (today) with T1b and while my A type personality has him all sorted and life back to a chaotic normal rhythm, much as it was pre diabetes, I cannot shake the blues. I cry for absolutely no reason at all and no, it is not a depression.
Today was an absolute killer. Max's sugars are **** near perfect with a 14 day average at 7.3 and 90% of the time in the 4-10 zone so I know we are fine on that score and thank God, not suffering the terrible plummeting hypo's other new mummies and daddies are coping with.
I just feel so guilty for feeling so sad and so so so angry. It's not me who has to cope with this life long condition but my boy.
I have set up some counselling for this Friday and hopefully that will help unblock whatever is blocking me getting over the hump and back to myself again.
Just wondered if anyone else went through this or is going through this and has any pointers.
Acceptance is not an issue, I have accepted life as it was and life as it is are diametrically different and we as a family have found so so much good has come out of the changes we have all had to make, far more than bad.
Could I be in shock?
Loads of love
Philly
 
Hi, I am the parent of a t1 diabetic and found myself much like you in the beginning. My daughter is now 16 and has had a few problems recently but when she was diagnosed aged 8 she coped brilliantly, I went to pieces when she couldn't see of course. We both managed to find our way but I did need a fee tablets from the doctor, although I didn't think I was depressed the doc thought otherwise, I didn't take them long but they did help. You will get through it all your son sounds very clued in, but there is no shame in asking for a little help sometimes. X
 
Hi Philly
I think you are reacting absolutely normal. You sound a bit like me coping practically but not emotionally. we are 3 and half months on and I still burst into tears without warning. Its good you have organised counselling I haven't done this as yet but may pursue this if things continue, let me know how you get on. we are all going through a grieving process and I guess it just has to run its course-you are not on your own, all us mummy's and daddy's are here for you.
 
Thanks you two. Had a much better day today and am starting to feel human albeit in patches. A new class teacher was standing in for our wonderful Elaine today and when i tried to do handover (post breakfast sugars being a vital indication of the school day to come) was met with, "oh i have read the protocol, you can leave now". Well i didn't "leave now" but gracefully (and without crying) said "great, then when he plummets in an hour, you will be able to capably shoot an 8 year old who is convulsing full of Glucagon while taming the rest of the class will you? cheerio". She nearly fainted. Credit to her, we handed off (with pleasantries exchanged) and understood that low sugar one hour after a meal meant he was going to have an up and down day and that something more substantial than a jelly baby would fix it.
Needless to say Max ran a little low today but all was good. He spotted his own low coming, tested, dropped 4 jelly babies and ate his sandwiches. And i felt empowered (and a little smug) that I could unemotionally stand up for my kid. And myself. It's a breakthrough.
Home time came and I got an apology from the teacher and she got a well done and thank you from me.
Thank heavens Elaine is back tomorrow.
 
You all put in to words so well exactly how I feel 5 weeks on. I still burst into the occasional flood of tears for no seemingly apparent reason.

I find that everything is going along swimmingly, Tamsin's levels are fine, carbs all counted & verified and then something so minor, so trivial and completely un-diabetes related happens and that finishes me off!

Still, maybe it's good in a way that we all still have these moments? Surely it's a natural part of a type of 'grieving' process that we've all had to go through. And it most definitely makes me treasure the better days even more.

Keep on keeping on everyone.

x


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
I think us new mommies (and daddies) should stick close together - we can muddle through this not so alone and without feeling so utterly helpless as we do for no seemingly "good" reason.
"friending" the lot of you :D
Night night from a very wet forest - it is still 29 degrees but we have gorgeous rain falling which hopefully will cool things down and drown the mosquitoes.
xxx
 
Absolutely all of the above! You are so not alone in what you're feeling. Us mums can't help but worry. It is a grieving process and it will take time because there is so much to absorb, with no break. And we are their carer, even more so than we were before. We are watching our kids cope with things we never imagined, maturing beyond their years. AND they are doing it brilliantly!! These numbers come up and get us mad - but tomorrow is another day, and we get control back. x


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
My daughter was diagnosed Oct 2012 and she is 24 ... I feel exactly the same as all of you especially when she has bad days and doesn't think she can cope. I have to be strong and support her over the phone and then can cry when the phone goes down... it is a natural part of being a mother you don't want your child upset or having to deal with something so difficult...
 
Hi Philly.

You'll be ok. It's amazing where us mums find the strength for all the things we have to overcome. Talking & sharing experiences does help. My mum has to cope with her hubby & me & my brother all type 1. My little brother was born diabetic , the hospital had never experienced a new born with diabetes I developed it at 14. 30 years later we're all ok but she's grey ! And a tower of strength for all of us.
 
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