Time off work for stress

DCUKMod said:

@LucyLou1997 - Firstly, I'm sorry you're having a rotten time in your new job. Unfortunately, it's hard to tell whether any given position will suit us, as individuals, before we start, and that's all part of the gamble of starting a new job. Like others, I too have done a job I detested, and actually I ended uo having some time off there, due to all sorts. It was a bit unfortunate that my Mother unexpectedly died the day before I was due to start the new job (it was an internal move), so my first day in post was my first back after compassionate leave. The job itself didn't suit me, as a personality, and I fairly promptly started looking for other options, which worked much better for me. So, I do get how you could be feeling a bit - even though I wasn't diagnosed at that point, and I'm not T1 anyway.

Moving forwards though.

The first comment I want to make is on this element here:
"I have had a meeting about how I feel and how it is affecting my health, they put in some changes that lasted a week, and now those changes have been disregarded and I'm back to square one."

Obviously I have zero idea what the changes were, or if they were ever meant to be temporary, but I think this needs to be addressed. In implmenting changed your employer has agreed a change was required. Few employers make changes just on a whim. That they now appear to be being disregarded suggests they aren't following through on their word, or recognition of the need for change.

You could email whomever instigated the changes to intimate that the changes have lapsed, and ask them to reinstate them without delay, or explain why they cannot be reinstated, bearing in mind, it seems you feel the lapsing changes are impacting your ongoing issues.

That you have had a formal offer for a job, subject to various apparent formailities is good, but I would tread carefully there. The contract isn't really struck until you have started in-post, so there is the possibility (I have no idea how slight), that the job could fall away for whatever reason.

In your heart of hearts, have you assessed how you will be in your new wjob? If it is similar, are you better equiped to deal with the challenges it could throw at you?

I'm not being difficult here, but you do talk of difficulties settling in employment. Holding down a full-time job is a challenge in itself, and there will almost always be rubbish parts in any role, that we have to manage for ourselves, to ensure the good vs bad bits balance out acceptably.

In terms of having time off. If you really do feel you can't go to work (and only you can assess this), then you should self-certificate yourself. If you still feel the same way in a week (and that is the point when na longer sicknote is likely to be considered anyway. I doubt my GP would ever consider a sicknote "until a new job starts", no matter what the reason for absence. They have a duty to assess your fitness to attend work,

Again, not being difficult about it, but that is their challenge.

When I did need my time away from work, I called my surgery a couple of days prior to my self-certification running out to tell them the situation and to tell them I was not feeling well enough to return to work. Sure enough, an appointment became free. That could maybe be a potential for you too?

In terms of the issues you have identified, my responses would be:

1. My employer being angry at me - If you are sick, you are sick. If you broke your leg, would they feel differently? Provided the reason for your absence is genuine, they have no reason to be anything other than inconvenienced.

2. Sitting at home in self pity if I do get signed off - Only you will know how you would react.

3. Making it harder to return to work after having that time off - Yes, that cacn be an issue, and the longer the absence is, the harder it can get, but sometimes absence cannot be avoided. In terms of absence due to an "invisible" issue, you can only know when you are ready to return to work or not.

4. Risking my new job if they find out I have been signed off, they are aware of the threats as I told them that is why I wanted to leave, but I have not signed a contract yet. - How ould they know what you are doing?

To be honest, only you can decide how to manage this tricky situation, moving forwards. In your shoes, I would definintely tell them that the disappearance of the changes made are impacting on your ability to do your job - provided that is the case. If they say, "OK, we'll put those(whatever they were) back in place, would you be happy going into work?

To be frank, it's time for you to do a bit of thinking. There doesn't appear to be a clear cut right way here, due to the fact much depends on how you feel, and we can't know that.

Moving forwards, I don't know what sort of thin your new job is, but I hope it suits you better. Please don't go putting yourself back into a situation that looks ticky from the outset.

I know from my past experience there are certain types of job I would not apply for any longer, and some thinngs which in my mind are non-negotiable. We all have those, and what suits one person won't suit another, whether it be in managing our work/life balance, careers, diabetes or family life.

Let us know how you get along, and what you decide to do.

Click to expand...