Time off work for stress

LucyLou1997

Member
Messages
6
@LucyLou1997 - Firstly, I'm sorry you're having a rotten time in your new job. Unfortunately, it's hard to tell whether any given position will suit us, as individuals, before we start, and that's all part of the gamble of starting a new job. Like others, I too have done a job I detested, and actually I ended uo having some time off there, due to all sorts. It was a bit unfortunate that my Mother unexpectedly died the day before I was due to start the new job (it was an internal move), so my first day in post was my first back after compassionate leave. The job itself didn't suit me, as a personality, and I fairly promptly started looking for other options, which worked much better for me. So, I do get how you could be feeling a bit - even though I wasn't diagnosed at that point, and I'm not T1 anyway.

Moving forwards though.

The first comment I want to make is on this element here:
"I have had a meeting about how I feel and how it is affecting my health, they put in some changes that lasted a week, and now those changes have been disregarded and I'm back to square one."

Obviously I have zero idea what the changes were, or if they were ever meant to be temporary, but I think this needs to be addressed. In implmenting changed your employer has agreed a change was required. Few employers make changes just on a whim. That they now appear to be being disregarded suggests they aren't following through on their word, or recognition of the need for change.

You could email whomever instigated the changes to intimate that the changes have lapsed, and ask them to reinstate them without delay, or explain why they cannot be reinstated, bearing in mind, it seems you feel the lapsing changes are impacting your ongoing issues.

That you have had a formal offer for a job, subject to various apparent formailities is good, but I would tread carefully there. The contract isn't really struck until you have started in-post, so there is the possibility (I have no idea how slight), that the job could fall away for whatever reason.

In your heart of hearts, have you assessed how you will be in your new wjob? If it is similar, are you better equiped to deal with the challenges it could throw at you?

I'm not being difficult here, but you do talk of difficulties settling in employment. Holding down a full-time job is a challenge in itself, and there will almost always be rubbish parts in any role, that we have to manage for ourselves, to ensure the good vs bad bits balance out acceptably.

In terms of having time off. If you really do feel you can't go to work (and only you can assess this), then you should self-certificate yourself. If you still feel the same way in a week (and that is the point when na longer sicknote is likely to be considered anyway. I doubt my GP would ever consider a sicknote "until a new job starts", no matter what the reason for absence. They have a duty to assess your fitness to attend work,

Again, not being difficult about it, but that is their challenge.

When I did need my time away from work, I called my surgery a couple of days prior to my self-certification running out to tell them the situation and to tell them I was not feeling well enough to return to work. Sure enough, an appointment became free. That could maybe be a potential for you too?

In terms of the issues you have identified, my responses would be:

1. My employer being angry at me - If you are sick, you are sick. If you broke your leg, would they feel differently? Provided the reason for your absence is genuine, they have no reason to be anything other than inconvenienced.

2. Sitting at home in self pity if I do get signed off - Only you will know how you would react.

3. Making it harder to return to work after having that time off - Yes, that cacn be an issue, and the longer the absence is, the harder it can get, but sometimes absence cannot be avoided. In terms of absence due to an "invisible" issue, you can only know when you are ready to return to work or not.

4. Risking my new job if they find out I have been signed off, they are aware of the threats as I told them that is why I wanted to leave, but I have not signed a contract yet. - How ould they know what you are doing?

To be honest, only you can decide how to manage this tricky situation, moving forwards. In your shoes, I would definintely tell them that the disappearance of the changes made are impacting on your ability to do your job - provided that is the case. If they say, "OK, we'll put those(whatever they were) back in place, would you be happy going into work?

To be frank, it's time for you to do a bit of thinking. There doesn't appear to be a clear cut right way here, due to the fact much depends on how you feel, and we can't know that.

Moving forwards, I don't know what sort of thin your new job is, but I hope it suits you better. Please don't go putting yourself back into a situation that looks ticky from the outset.

I know from my past experience there are certain types of job I would not apply for any longer, and some thinngs which in my mind are non-negotiable. We all have those, and what suits one person won't suit another, whether it be in managing our work/life balance, careers, diabetes or family life.

Let us know how you get along, and what you decide to do.

I'm sorry to hear about your Mother, I can't imagine what that must have felt like :(

The basic changes were that I would not be answering the phones for about 2 weeks. Which I understand I would have to go back to doing that, but these have only been in place for a week so I was kinda annoyed about reverting it back early, and I did argue this Friday but the outcome was basically "well that's too bad." I told them that I still had another week and I would have appreciated them telling me about reverting is back sooner, rather than on a Friday afternoon where it was manic and I basically had no chance to fight my case. I think if the changes were put back in place for the next week, and then had another meeting after, I would be able to tolerate it. Of course I'll still be looking for other employment, but if it could make the job manageable, that's all I need really. They are aware I'm looking for other employment as well.

In terms of the job offer, I am well aware it could fall apart, I have nothing to hide, but like anything I guess they could always tell me they don't want me if they found someone else more suitable for the role, this is why I'm anxious, this new job is a customer service role (which is what I'm used to) but within an office so it has admin duties alongside it. I had an interview day and was given a trial of the job so I could get a feel of what I would be doing. I did really enjoy it, whilst I'm aware all jobs as parts we don't enjoy, 9/10 most jobs I have been in are more good than bad, which makes a huge difference. I suppose with my other jobs the problems I faced were the dreaded zero hour contracts, or just useless management, I've learned through the years that unfortunately a lot of management are like this (not all, but from my experience most do like to sit upstairs with their feet on their desk having a laugh with their favourites...), being younger and shy at the time I never knew how to deal with it, but I do look back now and think "oh my god, why didn't I address this??" Unfortunately I can't change the past, but I have learned from it.

This is the reason why I was looking into getting signed off, I really do need to get my blood sugars back in the green, but whilst I'm in that building the stress is just too much. I could quit completely, I'm fortunate enough that my mum would bail me out as she wants me to be healthy before starting a new job, but having a gap on my CV may go against me. I thought by being signed off it may have bought me some time to manage my diabetes effectively, and then even if I did have to go back to my current job, I will just have to put myself first (which is something I have not been doing hence why I'm not feeling 100% in the first place).

I do have an appointment with the Nurse today, so hopefully we can get something sorted. I know I want to leave my job, just like anything, weighing up whether the gap on the CV is going to be worth the hassle of getting a new job...


Thank you all again, for the advice :)
 
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KK123

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,967
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi @LucyLou1997, I read your post a couple of times along with the comments which are all very useful. One observation though, what needs to be addressed urgently is the fact that the Line Managers in your job seem to be allowing you to be shouted at, abused and to suffer threats of violence towards you! Never mind your rising glucose levels, these are actually crimes and steps should be taken immediately to minimise them. I get how difficult it is for a school to address abusive parents and their children but you should NEVER accept that the situation you are in is 'normal'. It is not. Your employers should be horrified, I am 100% sure their written policies will include a statement about accepting no abuse towards their employees etc (just like in a Drs surgery). Get hold of the policy, make an appointment with your Line Manager and HR, RECORD all the points you want to make and record EVERY single time an incident occurs, most employers have an 'accident/incident at work' online system, fill it in. When you speak to them, mention things like 'I was about to call the police' etc, just so they know you mean business.
No wonder all of this has taken a toll on your health and whilst that is ultra important and a number 1 priority for you (which it should be), to the school it appears to be 'Oh she's off again because of her diabetes'. NO, you are off because you are being abused at work which has led to a deterioration in health. Believe me, when you start emphasising their failure to protect you as a worker they will sharpen up. Hope this helps, I know it's sometimes easier to walk away saying nothing but it is important for yourself and for others following in your wake. I sympathise with receptionists, they end up taking all the aggression.