Tips for supporting (nearly) teenage girl

my son is 9 and his rage attacks and moods are terrible since diagnosis, if you havent already ,have a look at my post as i go into more detail there, im sorry i dont have any advice, but wanted you to know you are not alone xxx

My cousin was diagnosed 11 years ago at 11 years old, I was diagnosed 4 weeks ago at 23 years old. The differences between our reactions were night and day.

She went through the denial, the rage, the confusion. She was just starting secondary school and just wanted to be "normal". Hormones certainly don't help! She was upset and anyone and everyone was a target! She had it and we didnt, how were we meant to understand?

I'm older, I understand the condition and the importance of controlling it. Ive gone through school and uni, the heavy drinking years, getting my driving license and buying my house. And THEN I get hit with it. After the 'hard stuff' is over. So yes I've been upset, but being older I think I can control my emotions more.

My cousin wouldn't have dreamt of speaking to her mum or dad, but as I am only 1 year older we are close and she spoke to me and her other friends sometimes. Does your daughter have someone she can open up to? Maybe ask her if she would like to chat to someone else? No offence, but as close as mother and daughter can be she may not want to tell you some of the things going on in her head! If she's able to release her emotion elsewhere then that might help her. Just a thought!

Another idea might be a Diabetes UK holiday - they run several during the summer holidays. My daughter benefited greatly by going on one at 13 and is going on the 16-18 one this year.

With Facebook and twitter so much part of our lives now she'll probably retain some friends which could give her some support over the coming years.

I'd have to say though that 12-16 have not been good years for us for diabetes control - they just want to be off doing other things, and to be the same as their friends. Finally at 17 a shock HBA1C result has had an impact and it was her turn to cry in an appointment instead if me. Things are still not perfect but she turned a corner.

I have been very lucky that my daughter has not done had a moody phase and for you that's probably impacting you more than how she's controlling the condition. Can you get a referral to the psychologist team at your local hospital - this is a standard service for children with diabetes at our hospital but I think they sometimes forget to offer it. I know it sounds a bit over the top but it may help to get an outsider talk to her - maybe without you present if she's old enough that they'd allow that.

Sue


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Having raise three surviving daughters, adopted another and fostered several others mainly because we 'sign' (all girls) we found that 11, 12, and 13 into 14 were definitely the worst years. One thing we did find was rather than allow stand up slanging matches that just caused yet more friction, get the one who is feeling stressed or aggrieved for what ever reason to write it all down. It may seem silly to the child, but it will make sense once they realise the trivial things are easily resolved and often by themselves, while the more important and intrusive gripes are easier to convey if its all written down. I'm not saying its going to be easy, simply because raising children isn't easy, but it is possible to make the transition from child into a young adult a lot easier if communication does not break down.
Teenage hormones are intrusive enough on their own, but add in diabetes (more hormone trouble) and good communication is just as essential as love and understanding.

Now all this said, I sure am glad they are now all married with children of their own .. :thumbup:

Probably a combination of all of the above! I was diagnosed at 11, now 21, and yes those early teenage years were difficult to say the least. Trying to find the line between being supportive and not being "interfering" is difficult and something I clashed with my mum about a lot. One thing I would say is try not to blame it all on the diabetes, the thing that could wind me up more than anything (and still can occasionally!) was if I was in a mood and my mum automatically assumed it was because my blood sugars were high or low. Sometimes she was right, but often I was just a teenage girl doing what teenage girls do best! I don't have much advice, but remember that this will pass, and one day she will turn around and be grateful to you for being there throughout it all.