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trouble with school

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Sylvia

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Hello my name is Sylvia, I'm new to this, my grandaughter has type 1 diabetes, which she has had since she was ten months old, she is 9yrs old now and had a pump about 18months ago which has made a big difference to her, the problem we have had has been with her school and how they have not coped with it very well, she is in year 4 now and it has taken this long for the school to get any where near to coping with it, because of the bad start all the other children were bonding in their little groups whilst she was put on to half days, sat on her own to eat lunch etc, she now has real problems trying to make friends and bbecause she is restricted to what she can do i.e. sleepovers she is now so excluded we have now taken her out of school until they can sort it out, just wanted to know if we are the only ones, as it is a lonely place to be?
 
Hi Sylvia and welcome to the forum There are lots of mums of children with pumps who would love to come and talk to you and will be along shortly. In the meantime have a look at the Youth Club Forum where you will find information about mums (and grandmums) and their children with and without pumps.

Here is the link:

viewforum.php?f=16

Ask as many questions as you like and someone will be pleased to help you with an answer.
 
Sorry to hear about your grandaughter. My daughter is 8 and we have never had any problems like this.
I try and invite as many friends over as possible and she in return gets invited back. I have always found other parents to be very helpful and I have explained in great detail her condition so they all know what they are dealing with.

She is always included in things at school and does lots of after school activities. These all take a lot of plAnning on my part but it means she can do what her friends are doing and doesn't get left out. She doesn't see herself as being different from her friends and nor do they see her to be different to them. My son is also diabetic and again we have never encountered any problems.
She has been on one sleepover once, but it did prove to be a problem so we have said no for now and just let her friend sleep here.

If this was happening to my daughter I would probably try and invite some of her friends over and also try and educate the parents and school about the condition. The more that people know about her diabetes will enable them to understand and not shy away from the situation.

It has taken me a few years to build up strong relationships with other parents who now bend over backwards to help me with the kids.
I hope that you can resolve these problems so your grandaughter can go back to school and see her friends.
 
Hi Sylvia, I'm sorry to hear that your grandaughter is having a difficult time. My daughter is also 9 and using a pump at school, she's in year 5.

Why does the school sit your grandaughter on her own for lunch? There's no reason why she shouldn't be seated at a table with her peers to eat lunch. I'm sure this must make your grandaughter feel very isolated and will be an obstacle for her to make friends as a lot of chatting takes place whilst eating lunch. Your grandaughter shouldn't be excluded from any school activity because of her diabetes.

Perhaps you can talk to the staff/head/SENCO at school to discuss things that you feel should change which would assist your grandaughter in feeling more included and open opportunities to make friends. Also take a look at the JDRF website for their schools pack (http://www.jdrf.org.uk/page.asp?section ... In+Schools). My daughter's year 4 teacher covered this in class last year and it was very well received by the pupils and staff. I believe she has used the pack again this year for her current year 4 class.

Is there anyone at school your grandaughter might want to invite to her house after school? This is a great way of getting to know someone better and making new friends. We started off with my daughter inviting friends here first and only once I got to know the parents better and was able to explain about her diabetes did we accept invitations the other way.

We haven't allowed sleepovers yet and I don't see us doing that until she's much more independent with her diabetes. But we are considering a sleepover at our house with the condition that Jess won't be able to accept an invitation for a sleepover at the friend's house until she is older. Jess' friend is happy with this agreement.
 
thanks for your reply's, we have been into school loads of times and have encouraged her to have her friends round but I feel the trouble all stems from the little effort the school put in when she first started and her clasmates were all bonding , whilst they were dragging their heels coping with her, we have even had teachers saying they were to busy to check her blood,although after years of upset they now seem to take it seriously my concern is it to little to late, I had good support from the hospital but even they were amazed at the lack of interest, I think we were just unlucky, glad to hear that others are getting better support and hopefully we will find somewhere as good, many thanks
 
Sorry for being blunt - but it sounds to me like there probably is some slack on the part of the school, and to be honest, I would expect you and your grand daughters parents to pick up that slack.

The buck has to stop somewhere, and criticising the school won't help your grand daughter in the least.

I will say this - if they are making her sit alone at lunch, then that is inexcusable.

Taking her our of school will not help her make friends. That's counter productive.
 
To patch
My son has tried everything possible with the school, and as for the critising the school, as I have been the one involved with the school as her carer so have I, there is only so much you can do and up until recently I have been going in and out 2-3 a day and have requested help fom the hospital as well who have all tried to help, our last resort is to move her from the school which is now the only option, which I think is the school letting her down, you really have no idea what we have put up with and the amount of times we have been to meetings to resolve this, and to be quite honest the effect this having on all of us and mainly my granddaughter your comments are not welcome.
 
Sylvia,

Not sure if you have been down this route but could you not involve the local education authority in this matter? The LEA has a duty of care to see that your granddaughter is cared for and adjustments are made to allow for her to lead a normal life whilst in school, your post is deeply upsetting and I hope you get this resolved soon.

Nigel
 
What did I say that was so offensive? I won't keep chiming in - I don't want to wind you up any more than you already are.

I was just offering a point of view.
 
hi again. The school have a duty to deal with her needs and how they are behaving is unacceptable. As far as I can see you have two options. You can speak with the school again as a final attempt to get this resolved and you will probably need to ask your DSN to visit and make sure they understand the severity of the situation. You may even want to contact your local MP about this so the school know you mean business. All of this however may cause friction between you and the school and cause even more stress for your Grandaughter. The other option is that she is moved to a new school and you start again. Although I understand that this is not an easy solution.

For whatever reason this matter has gone on for too long at the detriment of your grandaughter. Something needs to be done, but this is something that only your family can decide upon.

I do however find this very upsetting that a school could treat a child in this way. Coming from a parent of 2 diabetic kids I find this very sad and quite astonishing that this has happened. I really hope you can resolve this issue and she can get back to leading a 'normal' life.
 
leggott said:
I do however find this very upsetting that a school could treat a child in this way.
Click to expand...

You're right - it's outrageous. Surely all schools have got specific guidelines wrt Diabetic pupils?
 
Unfortunately I've heard about some schools who won't allow a diabetic child to take their insulin pen into school! There is still a lot of misunderstanding about the condition not that this excuses this behaviour.

These poor kids go through so much that it breaks my heart to think that they then have to encounter these sorts of issues.
 
Not sure if any of you having problems with Schools in the UK have seen this forum 'Children with Diabetes.org' which specifically is aimed at Parents of children with Diabetes. It seems to be a very useful site.........

http://www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org/d ... r-parents/

The link is about Schools, but there is much other information there. Hope it helps some get some good advice and support.

 
You have been given some good advice and links to help you with the issues at school. I hope that you are able to arrange some way forward that will help your grandaughter. Something else you might want to consider in the meanwhile is encouraging your grandaughter to take part in out of school activities, like Brownies, where she might meet some new friends and form friendships. If it turns out that your grandaughter moves to a different school then she might have already met girls from the new school at Brownies. It is more difficult for a child with diabetes to join in with some Brownies activities but if you are able to volunteer as a helper (Brownies in my experience are grateful for any volunteer help they can get) this would enable her to take part in activities with a carer present to help her deal with the diabetes tasks involved.
 
im so sorry for ur grandaughter how sad, i have sometimes felt our school isnt always helpful in certain issues however compared to yours they are fab, dylan this year at school went on a 3 day residential which was really hard for me but he coped really well with it, this was more down to his supportive teacher and teaching assistant who i had every confidence in and had they not been going i dont think i would have allowed dylan to go either. he didnt have his pump then however and was on MDI.

i can understand u pulling her out of school as a safety thing but i do agree that it wont help her with making friends in the long run, life with a diabetic child is far from easy and people like the ones at ur school make things 10 times worse.

not sure why they are making her sit on her own at lunch what benefit is there in that to her or them the poor girl must feel miserable if that is how she is treated.

hope u get this resolved soon and if we can help with support and advice let us know

anna marie
 
i really appreciate all your comments and we are still trying to resolve the problems she has with her school ,half of me feels we are still bashing our heads up against a brick wall, but we will not give up on it until we have done everything we can, but at least we now know loads of places that we can get extra support so thank you everyone.
 
just an update I have taken all your advice on board I am now sitting here with a list of all the people I am going to contact on monday and feel much more positive manh thanks
 
so glad ur feeling more postive sylvia this site kind of does this to u with its helpful and positive people

good luck for monday hope u get somewhere

anna marie
 
That's great news! Let us know how you get on.

I forgot to say, that my daughter is happy to email your grandaughter and have an online chat about things. Happy for you to PM me at anytime should your grandaughter want to do this.

leggott
 
I am very sorry for you and your family Sylvia. Problems with children at school can be very stressfuk . it must be so much worse when there are other issues involved.

As a former teacher and a mother I hink that there are a couple of different issues here

Because of the way the education system is now organised young children meet each other as babies and the parents end to select their friends. This can make it very difficult for children joining the school later to make friends and fully integrate. Often there is not a great deal that can be done . When the child reaches secondary school often these problems are spontaneously resolved because of the wider catchment area .greater numbers etcThe headteacher always sets the tone for the school. If you can't get sense from the head or he'she is unsympathetic then - I hate to say it but moving the child might be the bes option.
Yes you can go to a higher power etc but this would probably be very ime consuming and would cause animosity between yourselves and the school which would help noone.

You might even succeed in improving matters for later generations of children which is very good of course, but it might be too late for your granddaughter.

I fully concur with the suggestion of Brownies etc and also the comment about your granddaughter getting to know other children before high school.

You will be in a better position after your meeting . Unfortunately heads often have heir own agenda and concerns and although a class teacher may be sympathetic this does not guarantee the Head's cooperation.

Try not to get involved in wider issues which will no help your situation. It seldom pays.
 
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