type 1.5 denial

Hello @WildFreeSpirit - Welcome to the forum

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way, unfortunately the c-peptide test isn't conclusive, so try to ignore this the important point here is the fact you are eating carbs and your bg levels are sky rocketing which means that you're not producing insulin so need to inject to manage the effect of the glucose entering your blood. I spent some time questioning it when I was diagnosed, mostly connected to the fact I didn't think it could happen to me as prior to the diagnosis I was rarely ill. It was almost a shock reaction, even when talking to specialists I kept asking what I could do to save my dying pancreas..

Learning about food types and what the effect of eating carbs can do will help you understand how your blood glucose reacts, keep a diary and record everything, it will help to develop your knowledge and understanding of the impact of eating carbs and taking insulin as well as being able to look for patterns, a good read is 'Think like a pancreas', knowledge is power in becoming an expert at this.

hi there @WildFreeSpirit
welcome to the forum

I am really sorry that you are having a rough time.
This might not help - but just know that we have all had the kind of feelings and thoughts you are experiencing.

have you had any education on counting carbs ?
here is a link to a site that could assist in learning how to match your insulin to what you eat https://www.bertieonline.org.uk/

also -- your DSN ( diabetic nurse ) should be available to assist you - can you give her a ring or see her to get some further help ??

finally -- try to be kind to yourself -- it is a huge shock to your body both physically and emotionally, and it will take time to adjust.

do keep posting !
all the best.
himtoo