I did ring her azure, I told her I haven't had my insulin for 9 days I told her the 3 reasons why and she said to take it off course. She said we don't have child lancet here. And we'll she was in clinic so couldn't really talk. So I'll wait for penny I have an app for Nov 4 .... I know how this all started very clear fully but at this present moment I don't think I can take that insulin. It causes me to over eat which I don't naturally do. It makes me fat and I hate it. I hste how i jump and hurt an warm fingers and 3 4 pricks later get enough to test ih lets not go there with ketone stick that needs heaos more blood. I dont have any ketones and i test because you guys mention dka . Im fine i am fine. I had my c.peptide today so look forward to some information. Apart of me still feels somethings not right. I am down but not badly. Id say more confused an nit trusting dictors etc is an issue. I did all rifht for 2 months to get stabbed with 11 12 morning readings and 10kf fat too boot and fingers that were bruised . Not ok. Maybe I'm just over it for now. I don't even know what to do really. I'm very confused. All I do not is I'm feeling guilty because I'm not doing what a sensible diabetic would do. I'm 46 acting 14 to some. I feel bad because I feel how much you care for my wellbeing a person you don't even know. I feel bad because I failed and I don't even care to get back on that caring ride yet. Please try to understand. I will keep you informed and I thank you so much for all the advice too. Maybe it's not sinking in yet but it will. Last time I did an I was ausom.@nessa1970 You're in denial - and I know you know that. That's an expression of deep concern for you, not an accusation.
More than a day ago, you said you were phoning the DSN cover lady - did you? What did she say?
You keep mentioning DKA but the risk is also damage to your body - damage to your kidneys, damage to your blood vessels, damage to your eyes. This isn't a theoretical risk that people bandy about - it is real.
Some Type 1s avoid insulin or manipulate it to take as little as possible to keep themselves out of DKA for quite some time. But they do not get away with it. They suffer varying degrees of damage, including blindness and kidney failure. Maybe some of them think that it still worth it to be just that little bit lighter, but I bet not. Would you?
Please take your insulin @nessa1970 You're slipping down a slope that gets ever steeper, but you can still dig your heels in and stop and be safe.
You need support. You need the help of a DSN and also proper psychological support, not only your counsellor, good as they might be.
You can beat this. You can take Type 1 by the scruff of the neck and put it back in its cage. Don't let it walk all over you and destroy the things you hold dear.
Speak to someone now or visit the ER.
Thank youIf you really are finding it hard to cope, at least take a daily basal injection. Eating zero carb, you can then pretty much not bother for the rest of the day (a pretty extreme suggestion - but really if you are struggling you will at least stay safe until your head is in a better place, or you get more direct help from your doctor) Craving chocolate? buy 90% cocoa. High BGs can put you emotionally in a very hard place so the sooner you get control the better.
You know you can do it - it's time to take your finger off the self destruct button.
If your finger pricks hurt, make sure you are changing your lancet regularly. (It can make quite a big difference)
There are other places for support too - an online community lively on twitter www.gbdoc.co.uk and also www.teambloodglucose.com - get in touch directly and they will be able to talk things through with you.
Hang on in there
Hi. I will talk to my dn when she's back on the bs testing I have 3 different ones. I have tried from level 1 to 4.i just tested now with cares Lance on 1 then 2 then 3 finally after 6 pricks I get bs 24 which is not too bad at least it's not hi but I did have 3 white wines tonight just being so stressed about it all. Tomorrow is a new day I'll see how I go. I eat low carb as to not make it worse. I'll keep trying an hopefully find that strength again ... I do want to be ok. I dunno what else to say except I am trying best I can . Thank you. An I will update. XxThank you for replying @nessa1970 Dont think you're alone in dealing with the **** that Type 1 is sometimes. We all know that it's not easy to,accept or deal with on a day to,day basis.
Let me go back to the finger pricks - what meter do you have? Some meters need less blood than others so you don't have to,squeeze a big drop out. You said you had your finger pricker on 2. Have you tried it on 1? And have you tried it gently on 3? Sometimes it will hurt because it's set too high, but it can also hurt if it's set too low because that means you have to squeeze hard to get blood through a not properly formed prick. Keep experimenting.
I know you believe you may have some insulin resistance. Remember that it's perfectly possible to be Type 1 and to have some IR. Remember too that hormones through life can affect BS and IR. If you found to have IR, then it may be that you could take Met as well as your insulin.
If you had a positive GAD test, which you did, you are Type 1. It's not nice, I know. I couldn't believe it when I was diagnosed and I felt very angry about it - like I was being singled out and picked on. I also thought there might have been a mistake.
But now I appreciate insulin because it saved my life and every day it allows me to live normally with a condition that was once terminal. So, after all these years, I feel lucky.
Sending you my best wishes X
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