Orlando00, Don't feel ashamed, you've done nothing wrong. Wrong was done to you ! From what I've learned through this forum, the worst thing that happened was the vilifying of natural fats and the brainwashing of the public to eat more and more carbohydrates.....you know, the healthy ones. Aye, sure ! You've been addicted, plain and simple.
But take heart, it really is an easy addiction to break for most people. Check out the low carb and keto sections of this forum, read up on what lots and lots of people have done to pull back from T2, and if they can do it, so can you.
You've taken the first and best step by coming here.
Best of luck.