Maybe I'll describe them (briefly) sometime
OK, Zambia first.
I was doing a project based in Kitwe in the Copperbelt. The first time was just driving north from Lusaka, I was following a colleague when we went through a random speed check area, both doing about 75, but nevertheless over the speed limit of around 65. My colleague just went sailing on and I got pulled over. No real drama, just smile, pay the fine ($20 or so, all done 'officially') and carry on. I had a few words with my colleague later, not for him getting through but for not stopping or turning back for ages to see where I'd gone. But that's just for context ...
A few days later I was driving out of Kitwe and just started accelerating a bit once I'd left town and got pulled over again.
"Good morning sir, you are exceeding the speed limit for the built-up area".
"I thought I had left town, and there's no signs'".
"It's back there", he said pointing to some rusty pole half leaning over and covered in vegetation.
Oh well, here we go again, no point arguing and it's all part of life's rich tapestry of experiences. "So what happens next officer?"
"Take this paper, and you have to go to the police station in town to pay your fine". In a way it was nice to see it was all being done without demands for cash on the spot where you have no idea where it might be going.
As I was getting back into the pickup, another young policeman approached me. "Excuse me boss" (old habits die hard in southern Africa I suppose), "are you going to the police station?". "Yep". "Can you give me a lift, my shift has ended and I have no transport?". "Yeah sure, hop in". At least he can navigate me there I thought, and anyway there's scope for some craic here.
So he hops in the back (my colleague was in the front) and I drive off. I noticed the policeman hadn't put his seatbelt on, so I turned round and said "Could you put your seatbelt on please officer, it's company policy and you wouldn't want to be breaking the law now would you?"
"Oh ... sure, yes Bwana".
So we get to the police station, shake hands, all smiles of course, and I go in. Absolutely heaving, I'm the only non-African in there. When I get to the desk, the sergeant laughs and says "Ah, speeding is it?". "Yes". Uproarious laughter all round, I pay my fine and we all laugh again. $20 was neither here nor there for me, but for a Zambian truck driver, say, that's a lot of money. But it's all done lightheartedly and if you join in with that spirit it's fine.
In the car on the way, I had asked the policeman in the back about something else that had been puzzling me. There are several junctions in Kitwe with traffic lights, but all the colour lenses were missing so they were all just white. This made it quite difficult, especially at night, to see what they were supposed to be indicating, unless you saw them change from a distance and just thought 'OK it's the lowest white one, that must be green'. So I asked the young policeman what had happened to the colour lenses. "Ah, it's just the students - they steal them for their discos".
You really couldn't make it up. I love Africa!