Unsupportive partner?

wholefrost said:

My partner of 14 year left me 1 week after telling her. got 3 confused kiddies

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@wholefrost

@Robinredbreast really felt for you .... and so do I. Keep strong and thinking of you.

As for @Curly604, I don't expect he's doing anything I wouldn't do if the roles were reversed. Even if you think you know the issues of the partner and what they have to deal with, in reality you don't.

That was a law I laid down with my sweet lady from day one ... do NOT ever refrain from eating what you know is not good for me and feel guilty. I might get the jealous streak at one time or another, but no way would visit that upon her. I quickly get over it but the simple thought that she cares enough to consider my feelings is more than enough comfort.

hi. If the reverse was on the other hand I would have been supportive and would have done my best to understand the illness. However that's easy for me to say. I already do all the cooking anyway and have changed the way I eat and family eat. maybe it's easy to blame the diabetes for the split but I feel it's one of the main reasons. tomorrow I go on a course for counting carbs so I'm early days.

in last 3.5 weeks I've also lost 3 stone. which is good for me and I feel the best I've ever been in a long time I'm in control of my insoline and not confused any more. I'm glad I took advice from here and phoned sheffield hospital and not let my docs deal with it. cos if I did I would be in more trouble. Thanks guys ☺

Good man @wholefrost .... admire your persistence and take care.

JRW said:

Personally I have taken the approach to be autonomous with regards to managing my diabetes, as much as I love my wife I don't expect her to be an expert, or help me beyond basics such as having a hypo At the end of the day I go to work every day and manage it, go to the gym and manage it, and travel etc managing it, I'd hate to depend on someone else for that, even my wife.

With regard to the job stuff, just sounds like a lax attitude (about as generous as I can get).

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I agree. It's not really fair to expect a partner to take as much responsibility as you have to yourself to manage your condition. My husband listens to the occasional rant and is on hand with glucose, if I need it, but I rarely need help. So he's supportive, but I actually wouldn't expect or want much practical help.

I was diabetic before I meet my partner of 11 years and I don't expect her to take the strain. For the most part I manage it myself and I know she hates it if I go low (this is as a result of the one of two really bad experiences when I needed ambulance assistance for a hypo). In reality, she is always bothered about what she eats and wants to eat healthily, so we both do. If we're going to fall off the wagon, we both do as well. If anything, I get more stick for baking cakes to take to work as she wants them and can't have them!

I feel quite fortunate. My husband is amazingly supportive. He even went low carb with me, though I never expected him to. He said "I'll eat whatever you make" And he actually likes it!

My other family... An entirely different story. They tell me things like... "Oh, it won't hurt to treat yourself once in a while - Or, you are being to strict with this diet thing. Live a little! - Or, well, you're on meds right? It'll keep your blood sugars down!"

Sighs.

I am no longer on medication, and my diabetes is controlled by diet and exercise only. Good thing I never listened to them.