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<blockquote data-quote="tricia1mumsie" data-source="post: 1715212" data-attributes="member: 380210"><p>He sounds like an uncaring bully to me, although you have tried hard to give his personality a positive spin, I think you are being too generous.</p><p></p><p>If you intend to stay with this man, you need to redefine your relationship by being more assertive and telling him what you need and expect from him. It is REALLY not a good idea to consider having children with this man unless he can be encouraged to be more supportive and caring - you should be really honest with yourself whether he is capable of better behaviour and a more caring attitude - in sickness and in health etc. Also you need to bear in mind that the physical and mental stress of becoming pregnant and having children will put extra strain upon your diabetes and your general health, as well as your relationship - you will need more help and support from him, not less. I agree with others that you need relationship counselling. If he won't do this, or it does not work out, you need to seriously consider whether it is good for you to stay with this man before you even consider having children with him.</p><p></p><p>Get whatever professional support you can from doctors, counsellors, friends and other diabetics (and this forum), it does not look as if you are likely to get much from him unless he is prepared to make major changes to his attitude. It is a pity he grew up without a healthy attitude towards feelings and caring, etc, but he is a grown man and should be able to form his own emotional character and not just continue with what he was (dysfunctionally) brought up with.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can be more assertive with him and gain his support. You might want to consider an assertiveness course or at least reading a book about it. All the very best to you - I hope it works out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tricia1mumsie, post: 1715212, member: 380210"] He sounds like an uncaring bully to me, although you have tried hard to give his personality a positive spin, I think you are being too generous. If you intend to stay with this man, you need to redefine your relationship by being more assertive and telling him what you need and expect from him. It is REALLY not a good idea to consider having children with this man unless he can be encouraged to be more supportive and caring - you should be really honest with yourself whether he is capable of better behaviour and a more caring attitude - in sickness and in health etc. Also you need to bear in mind that the physical and mental stress of becoming pregnant and having children will put extra strain upon your diabetes and your general health, as well as your relationship - you will need more help and support from him, not less. I agree with others that you need relationship counselling. If he won't do this, or it does not work out, you need to seriously consider whether it is good for you to stay with this man before you even consider having children with him. Get whatever professional support you can from doctors, counsellors, friends and other diabetics (and this forum), it does not look as if you are likely to get much from him unless he is prepared to make major changes to his attitude. It is a pity he grew up without a healthy attitude towards feelings and caring, etc, but he is a grown man and should be able to form his own emotional character and not just continue with what he was (dysfunctionally) brought up with. I hope you can be more assertive with him and gain his support. You might want to consider an assertiveness course or at least reading a book about it. All the very best to you - I hope it works out. [/QUOTE]
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