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Type 1 Diabetes
Unsupportive Spouse
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<blockquote data-quote="AdamJames" data-source="post: 1716116" data-attributes="member: 459333"><p>Yes, men can be emotionless, and can often take the view that expressing emotions is pointless, and instead it's better just to try to fix things in practice rather than getting upset.</p><p></p><p>But there's a lot of unsettling stuff in that post.</p><p></p><p>I'm kind of hoping that there are many wonderful things about your husband which you haven't mentioned.</p><p></p><p>But certain things you mention, such as walking off when out hiking (if your hikes are anything like mine) is just not safe. I'm not sure I could do that to anyone I loved. It's not even logical - whenever I'm out with other people, I like to have the slowest person setting the pace. That way everyone gets back safely and nobody gets knackered.</p><p></p><p>And the word 'controlling' sets off alarm bells.</p><p></p><p>Some important questions I'd be asking myself is:</p><p></p><p>* Am I too quick to express emotions re dealing with Type 1? In particular, do I repeatedly express the same emotions about problems for which there is <em>no solution</em>? I.e. am I giving my husband secondary 'Diabetes Burnout'? If I make an honest assessment of how often I get like this, and imagine the roles were reversed (i.e. my husband had Type 1 and he requested emotional support to the same level I do), would it wear me down?</p><p></p><p>* Is my husband supportive in other ways? For example, when I express my emotions about <em>new</em> problems, or problems which <em>do</em> have practical solutions?</p><p></p><p>* If I have children, given what other people tell me about being a new mother, am I likely to need more or less emotional support? Am I likely to receive this from my husband?</p><p></p><p>* Are there enough redeeming qualities about my husband that, provided I can find emotional support for Type 1 elsewhere, the relationship could still be described as a loving, enjoyable one where I feel he would support me over other issues?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AdamJames, post: 1716116, member: 459333"] Yes, men can be emotionless, and can often take the view that expressing emotions is pointless, and instead it's better just to try to fix things in practice rather than getting upset. But there's a lot of unsettling stuff in that post. I'm kind of hoping that there are many wonderful things about your husband which you haven't mentioned. But certain things you mention, such as walking off when out hiking (if your hikes are anything like mine) is just not safe. I'm not sure I could do that to anyone I loved. It's not even logical - whenever I'm out with other people, I like to have the slowest person setting the pace. That way everyone gets back safely and nobody gets knackered. And the word 'controlling' sets off alarm bells. Some important questions I'd be asking myself is: * Am I too quick to express emotions re dealing with Type 1? In particular, do I repeatedly express the same emotions about problems for which there is [I]no solution[/I]? I.e. am I giving my husband secondary 'Diabetes Burnout'? If I make an honest assessment of how often I get like this, and imagine the roles were reversed (i.e. my husband had Type 1 and he requested emotional support to the same level I do), would it wear me down? * Is my husband supportive in other ways? For example, when I express my emotions about [I]new[/I] problems, or problems which [I]do[/I] have practical solutions? * If I have children, given what other people tell me about being a new mother, am I likely to need more or less emotional support? Am I likely to receive this from my husband? * Are there enough redeeming qualities about my husband that, provided I can find emotional support for Type 1 elsewhere, the relationship could still be described as a loving, enjoyable one where I feel he would support me over other issues? [/QUOTE]
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