Vastly Improved Blood Sugars - Midlife Crisis?

Totto · Jun 15, 2014

High bg does indeed fog the brain. But so do a lot of things. like wine, dope, stress, general crises be it personal or proffesional and bad relationships. Take your pick.

And do stay on here, people do really want to help even if it doesn't always seem so. Then there is the Ignore function. I have used it and it made my life so much easier. Check it out.

this is too difficult · Jun 15, 2014

wrong forum I think. Seems to have little to do with diabetes. But well done for the diabetes bit and I am sorry if you felt unwelcome.

Brunneria · Jun 15, 2014

But you cannot control what other people write.
You started this thread, but you do not own it.
This is one of the things I enjoy the most about this forum.

And, frankly, what did you expect? This is the internet. It is open to everyone with internet access, worldwide.

I have a personal rule that I say nothing that I would not want my parents, my sister, my best friend and my husband, to read. If I say something about Mr B, then I either tell him about it, or have already said it to him.

I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I try to live with integrity.

Do you?

Designerman 1 · Jun 15, 2014

Brunneria said:
But you cannot control what other people write.
You started this thread, but you do not own it.
This is one of the things I enjoy the most about this forum.

And, frankly, what did you expect? This is the internet. It is open to everyone with internet access, worldwide.

I have a personal rule that I say nothing that I would not want my parents, my sister, my best friend and my husband, to read. If I say something about Mr B, then I either tell him about it, or have already said it to him.

I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I try to live with integrity.

Do you?

You see, you're trying to uphold my own actions by your own standards, we differ, clearly, so therefore comparison is not appropriate.

My actions are no worse, you interpret what I have said about midlife crisis as some kind of attempt to leave my partner - but - what if that's not the case?

What if I'm asking for help through this shifting maze of feelings?

SJC · Jun 15, 2014

Designerman 1 said:
I'm going to resume posting against my better judgement, but if I am attacked again, or told to leave the forums etc. over this subject I will stop posting in this thread and potentially delete my account. I will also inform moderators of the reasons I have been made to feel unwelcome by certain posters.

It is also galling to have to be made to feel compelled to explain myself. The short answers is - I shouldn't. Why on earth would I lie on an anonymous message board...I mean, really.

Having come back in from a day out with my partner that went well, this is not a pleasant reading experience - so much venting and anger, I have also removed some of my personal details off of my profile as I no longer feel comfortable with people seeing them due to the tone of some of the posts in this thread, and this morning I removed my previous avatar as it was one of my original pieces of artwork and is therefore traceable to my identity - I ask you forum browsers and posters, is that something you would want to have to do?

I can imagine your response is "You shouldn't be going about this in such a sneaky fashion" etc. But this subject I come to you with is difficult, private, this thread was meant to be a form of catharsis, a way to get the feelings off my chest, be guided by people who had gone through it, or at least knew what I was experiencing, what a shame it didn't turn out that way.

To me, the subject is embarrassing, and something that only select few trusted people know about in real life(Three people, of whom I trust implicitly). I didn't ask to feel this way, I didn't ask to be kept up at night with churning thoughts, feeling like I need to start again, feeling like I need to get away from my partner, feeling like something in my head is telling me to sell all my unnecessary possessions, I DIDN'T WANT THIS, I can't understand why it is happening to me. Yes I update with me and my partners squabbles, but that isn't really the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter was covered in my original post:

"But what I'm asking people here about is not the physical side effects of the gym, and the presumably even further tightened BG control but the mental side effects, because, I hate to say this, and I hate to feel like this, but I feel like I am having a midlife crisis. All the indicators are there, I'm seeking to improve my appearance and almost feel like someone in their early 20's - very appearance conscious, buying a lot of new clothes, feeling trapped in my personal situation with my partner of 15 years, and I feel terrible about that, simultaneously wanting to move on from her, and freedom away from her, but also fact I love her and don't really want to destroy the life we have built, but at the same time feeling hideously conflicted.

And I don't want people to think this is just some Narcissistic guy posting about his home life problems, and getting his diabetes off his chest, because I have questions...I'm trying to rationalise this, and this is the bit that's driving me to type out this lengthy diatribe at 1 am on a Thursday morning, when I know my alarm goes off at 7.

So, my questions:

Has anyone else experienced the same thing after diagnosis and getting their health back in order?

and, I'm sure this is purely an anecdotal thing, but could my high blood sugars have essentially 'fogged' my brain over a period of years that I am gradually recovering and repairing from, and this is just my normal self returning?"

Thanks for reading, and let's hope we can move forwards in a positive manner.

Designerman 1

You suspect mid life crisis. It certainly could be. I don't know your age. You still love your wife so I say yet again, get proper counselling or professional advice. Have you asked your GP about all this...about how you feel? In mid-life crisis it's common to want to change your image but there is a bit of panic attached to it all. Do you feel an urgency and panic about it all?
You sound confused and I am not sure you will get the help or advice you are looking for on such a forum as this. If you love your wife and want the relationship to work then you have to look at the wider picture and further than your own wants/needs/

this is too difficult · Jun 15, 2014

Brunneria said:
But you cannot control what other people write.
You started this thread, but you do not own it.
This is one of the things I enjoy the most about this forum.

And, frankly, what did you expect? This is the internet. It is open to everyone with internet access, worldwide.

I have a personal rule that I say nothing that I would not want my parents, my sister, my best friend and my husband, to read. If I say something about Mr B, then I either tell him about it, or have already said it to him.

I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I try to live with integrity.

Do you?[/QUO

SJC said:
You suspect mid life crisis. It certainly could be. I don't know your age. You still love your wife so I say yet again, get proper counselling or professional advice. Have you asked your GP about all this...about how you feel? In mid-life crisis it's common to want to change your image but there is a bit of panic attached to it all. Do you feel an urgency and panic about it all?
You sound confused and I am not sure you will get the help or advice you are looking for on such a forum as this. If you love your wife and want the relationship to work then you have to look at the wider picture and further than your own wants/needs/

Seriously? Ask in a marriage guidance forum.

Designerman 1 · Jun 15, 2014

this is too difficult said:
wrong forum I think. Seems to have little to do with diabetes. But well done for the diabetes bit and I am sorry if you felt unwelcome.

I don't see it as wrong forum, my personality has changed enormously since getting BGs under control, I feel like a different person, I can remember a few years ago where thinking about just doing something felt like an effort - say getting up to make a cup of tea at work, in fact raising my arms above my head felt like an effort as well. Now I feel capable of a lot, in the workplace, at home, wherever.

I feel like a different person to the guy I was in 2012, I'm sure it's related to BG control.

Brunneria · Jun 15, 2014

Designerman 1 said:
You see, you're trying to uphold my own actions by your own standards, we differ, clearly, so therefore comparison is not appropriate.

My actions are no worse, you interpret what I have said about midlife crisis as some kind of attempt to leave my partner - but - what if that's not the case?

What if I'm asking for help through this shifting maze of feelings?

No, I'm not 'trying to uphold your actions by my standards'.
I am saying that actions have consequences - which you cannot control.

There are many things that I have done (and many more to come, I expect!) that have cringeworthy consequences for me. The way I cope is by examining my motivations. Was I acting with integrity? If so, then fine. Sh*t happens. It also passes.
If I wasn't acting with integrity, then it's a useful lesson not to be such a pillock, ever again.

I'm not asking you to do the same.
I am asking you if you do the same.

Brunneria · Jun 15, 2014

this is too difficult said:
Seriously? Ask in a marriage guidance forum.

Sorry, but not sure why you've put those two quotes in the same post..?

And, on a much more frivolous note, how do you do the double quote thingy? It's very snazzy!

this is too difficult · Jun 15, 2014

Designerman 1 said:
I don't see it as wrong forum, my personality has changed enormously since getting BGs under control, I feel like a different person, I can remember a few years ago where thinking about just doing something felt like an effort - say getting up to make a cup of tea at work, in fact raising my arms above my head felt like an effort as well. Now I feel capable of a lot, in the workplace, at home, wherever.

I feel like a different person to the guy I was in 2012, I'm sure it's related to BG control.

You probably do.

this is too difficult · Jun 15, 2014

Brunneria said:
Sorry, but not sure why you've put those two quotes in the same post..?

And, on a much more frivolous note, how do you do the double quote thingy? It's very snazzy!

No idea. Didn't even know I had done it.

SJC · Jun 15, 2014

Well, I am going to take a hike from replying after this now because you seem to be ignoring anything I am saying....thanks I obviously don't understand any of this at all. Getting fitter can make you feel more desirable to the opposite sex and like you can conquer much more than you could but that's not rocket science. So you got fitter and now you are questioning your life and marriage. It's all a personal thing isn't it and we don't know you. Doubt you could directly say diabetes caused you to feel like you are in a mid-life crisis...much more to it than that in my opinion.

this is too difficult · Jun 15, 2014

Must be the diabetes

Designerman 1 · Jun 15, 2014

SJC said:
You suspect mid life crisis. It certainly could be. I don't know your age. You still love your wife so I say yet again, get proper counselling or professional advice. Have you asked your GP about all this...about how you feel? In mid-life crisis it's common to want to change your image but there is a bit of panic attached to it all. Do you feel an urgency and panic about it all?
You sound confused and I am not sure you will get the help or advice you are looking for on such a forum as this. If you love your wife and want the relationship to work then you have to look at the wider picture and further than your own wants/needs/

I'm going to visit my GP about a few things, I am planning to bring this up, I am 37 which tends to fall in the very young age for midlife crisis.

and yes I do feel an urgency and panic about certain things, also, I am not married, she hates the idea of marriage. I even proposed to her and she said no.

I also want to adress something else that is bothering me, which is the accusation(Not SJC's) that I didn't support my partner during her Hysterectomy.

This is not true.

I took unpaid leave to look after her for a month, working overtime in the preceding and following weeks and weekends, I waited on her hand and foot, as she laid on the couch, incredible what facts people can manufacture in their own minds over this subject, this is something that has personally offended and disgusted me.

this is too difficult · Jun 15, 2014

Designerman 1 said:
I'm going to visit my GP about a few things, I am planning to bring this up, I am 37 which tends to fall in the very young age for midlife crisis.

and yes I do feel an urgency and panic about certain things, also, I am not married, she hates the idea of marriage. I even proposed to her and she said no.

I also want to adress something else that is bothering me, which is the accusation that I didn't support my partner during her Hysterectomy.

This is not true.

I took unpaid leave to look after her for a month, working overtime in the preceding and following weeks and weekends, I waited on her hand and foot, as she laid on the couch, incredible what facts people can manufacture in their own minds over this subject, this is something that has personally offended and disgusted me.

Ok what do you want us to say or do?

zand · Jun 15, 2014

OK, re the hysterectomy, I don't think anyone was saying you didn't look after her physical needs, it's just that it is very hard for a man to understand the emotional problems that a hysterectomy can bring and maybe that was the start of your problems. Don't shoot me - friend not foe!

Totto · Jun 15, 2014

Designerman 1 said:
I'm going to visit my GP about a few things, I am planning to bring this up, I am 37 which tends to fall in the very young age for midlife crisis.

and yes I do feel an urgency and panic about certain things, also, I am not married, she hates the idea of marriage. I even proposed to her and she said no.

I also want to adress something else that is bothering me, which is the accusation that I didn't support my partner during her Hysterectomy.

This is not true.

I took unpaid leave to look after her for a month, working overtime in the preceding and following weeks and weekends, I waited on her hand and foot, as she laid on the couch, incredible what facts people can manufacture in their own minds over this subject, this is something that has personally offended and disgusted me.

I think the fact you supported her in her hour of need while she now withholds support is a major issue. Have you asked her why she refuses to help you?

As I have said in s few posts I think you may need to address the issue of her drink habit. I think many answers to your relationship related problems can be found there.

Designerman 1 · Jun 15, 2014

zand said:
OK, re the hysterectomy, I don't think anyone was saying you didn't look after her physical needs, it's just that it is very hard for a man to understand the emotional problems that a hysterectomy can bring and maybe that was the start of your problems. Don't shoot me - friend not foe!

No, I do know what you mean, we got together on the premise that I didn't want children, she said she didn't but was very guarded about doctors visits, and looking back, I think she had problems for some years, I could conjecture that she possible even knew she could not conceive as she went off the pill for 3 years without telling me, and no babies turned up.

this is too difficult · Jun 15, 2014

Designerman 1 said:
No, I do know what you mean, we got together on the premise that I didn't want children, she said she didn't but was very guarded about doctors visits, and looking back, I think she had problems for some years, I could conjecture that she possible even knew she could not conceive as she went off the pill for 3 years without telling me, and no babies turned up.

All you are going to get here is opinions. I you disagree what are you going to do?

Designerman 1 · Jun 15, 2014

this is too difficult said:
All you are going to get here is opinions. I you disagree what are you going to do?

What are we going to do if we disagree? I guess we're going to disagree.

What are we going to do if we agree? hopefully we'll agree

I guess this is truly the definition of a forum in it's most historic sense.

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