What am I doing wrong?

[Ian Richardson]

Afternoon everyone, I have been a diabetic for just over 18months now, and untill 3 weeks ago had very little signs of depression or anger, my suger levels seemed to be quite stable to the point I didnt need to check my sugar levels with the meter.
I have started loosing weight slowly over the last five months, 2.5 stone so i'm chuffed to-bits, but for some reason I have been arguing with my Girlfriend and doubting her every word, sometimes I dont even know i'm doing this, and the after affects are horrendous, this isn't me, as i'm a placid person who is always kind and loving, my sugar levels are usually around the 4.4 and as high as 10.4, my sleep pattern has gone to the wall, never sleeping straight through the night often waking, as I feel my levels drop.
I'm confussed as I try to eat all the right foods, have I dieted to quickly and exercised to-much?, why have I become angry? and depressed. is this something of the norm? my Girlfriend matters to me and so does my family.
I'm told i'm eating tomuch dried fruit, and fatty foods although I don't feel that I am. I have checked in with the diabetic clinic, who have done the normal tests and have been told to cut down on my half a bottle of Red wine over the weekend, plus loose some more weight.
I just need some direction in my life so please help.
Thanks Ian

 

[Synonym]

Hi Ian and welcome.

It sounds to me as if you are doing really well. Losing 2.5 stones is a real achievement and is very well done!

There is often a point when you get a diagnosis such as you have when you go into mourning for the loss of a future which you thought that you had and are finding yourself having to come to terms with a different future. This is not as uncommon as you might think and you need to give yourself time to come to terms with things. When you have had a chance to reflect and perhaps think that this could be a possibility then you need to share it with your friends and family ,if you can, so that they can understand what is happening.

You also sound a bit weary to me and in need of giving yourself a special treat, perhaps going somewhere or doing something that you wouldn't normally think of. Perhaps you would all benefit from having some together time - it can't hurt. The right kind of special attention and spoiling is important! 8)

I have no experience of T1.5 so can't offer any advice there but no doubt someone will be along soon.

 

[Snodger]

Synonym gives good advice.
It sounds to me too as if some of your problems may be hypos. If my sugars are around 4.4 I get hypo symptoms, and for many people hypos make them irritable and argumentative. Certainly it sounds as if you are going hypo at night if it is waking you up. The description of the way you are arguing - that it is out of character and you aren't even aware you are doing it - really sounds like a hypo argument to me. My ex was like that - we learnt never to discuss anything important till he'd eaten. And to reassure you - the hypos weren't the reason he's my ex!

Doctors often get so focused on blood sugar levels going down that they fail to recognise how unpleasant and disabling hypos can be. And because they don't live with the disease, they don't often give advice on hypos.

Is your girlfriend the kind of person who can understand that it may be your blood sugar talking, and not you?

I would also definitely endorse what Synonym said. You are doing really well. You've had a huge life change, you have very quickly started to get to grips with and understand one of the most complex chronic diseases in the world, and you have managed to safely lose weight at the same time. And then your doctors have come along, with no practical experience of living with diabetes, and said 'why aren't you perfect yet?' That makes me angry on your behalf, so no wonder you are managing some anger!

(One thing I would note is the dried fruit - I had a problem with that when I was first diagnosed because it doesn't seem as if there should be much carbohydrate in dried fruit. But there is, lots. I used to guzzle down dried apricots and find my sugars up in the sky. Dried fruit isn't 'bad for you' but it is dense with carbs and that needs to be taken into account. I don't know why they say you shouldn't have that small amount of red wine, and to be honest I'd go back and question that. There's no point them saying "don't do xyz" if they don't explain WHY.)

Good luck and go easy on yourself.