I gave you a winner, but it needs a hug too. Not a sympathy hug, but a congratulatory hug, for feeling the fear but doing it anyway. Now, don’t let impostor syndrome take over. Instead of thinking about what can go wrong, have in mind all that can go right.Payday is very low on my list of priorities, this is much more about seeing if I actually can have a regular job without dropping into a deep depression again.
Yes, the payment is cool, and it may actually mean I'll be able to keep the house I love, which is a serious motivation!
But it's nothing compared to the things I fear, which, in short, is dying. Mental health takes precedence over money or even keeping the place I love.
The last time I did something more or less full-time was 9 years ago, I lasted 6 months even though I really liked doing what I did, and my neighbours discussed how large the risk was they'd find me on some unlucky day.
They weren't wrong, in hindsight I think it was a 50/50 % chance to come out alive.
I did, and it was only in the past year and a half my depression seems to have miraculously lifted for no clear reason.
I have a very good feeling about this job, and I also have a very good reason to be scared. I never want to go there again, the past year has been so much better than the 10 years before!
Looks to be the ideal job for you! Just like being at home!Thanks a lot everyone!
Very interesting morning.
I went for a very early swim before work for extra courage. Then I had to get the key for my bridge from the next bridge over (they provided me with the wrong key initially).
The brugwachter there is the one who's supposed to teach me the job, a different one from last week.
He coached me by telling me to man my own bridge and to give him a phonecall if I had any questions.
I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, six ships have passed already.
View attachment 72162
Very comfortable looking bridge. Almost home from home.Thanks a lot everyone!
Very interesting morning.
I went for a very early swim before work for extra courage. Then I had to get the key for my bridge from the next bridge over (they provided me with the wrong key initially).
The brugwachter there is the one who's supposed to teach me the job, a different one from last week.
He coached me by telling me to man my own bridge and to give him a phonecall if I had any questions.
I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, six ships have passed already.
View attachment 72162
The last time I did something more or less full-time was 9 years ago, I lasted 6 months even though I really liked doing what I did,
Didn't bother with the eggs. Just had a couple of digestive biscuits with some butter and a cup of coffee. I've discovered that while a cup of tea makes my BG spike, a cup of coffee doesn't. Odd.Bacon and eggs for breakfast.
2nd meal can't be any more veg - insides still churning from 2 days ago. Just fancy a plate of chips, but must resist that. There are a couple of hard boiled eggs in the fridge so might do something with those but they are not even remotely exciting. Not in an inspired mood today.
Oh. I'll have to look into this. I switched to tea in the afternoon on the bridge and my bg was a bit higher than I'd have expected so I'll keep this in mind.I've discovered that while a cup of tea makes my BG spike, a cup of coffee doesn't. Odd.
That's so. Competent though you are, a first day at work is going to be stressful, to say the least. Stress doesn't lead to low BGs. It's taken me ages to realise that the tea spike was genuine and doesn't happen with coffee.Oh. I'll have to look into this. I switched to tea in the afternoon on the bridge and my bg was a bit higher than I'd have expected so I'll keep this in mind.
Not drawing conclusions on my first day of work though, so many variables added.
@Annb & @Antje77 , tea in bags has a TINY little bit of sugar put in. If you open one up, you see little white flecks. That's so little sugar they don't have to mention it on the packaging. None of that malarkey in loose leaf tea though, but it might explain that?Oh. I'll have to look into this. I switched to tea in the afternoon on the bridge and my bg was a bit higher than I'd have expected so I'll keep this in mind.
Not drawing conclusions on my first day of work though, so many variables added.
That is interesting. What a cheek. It's like those tiny sweets (Tiktoks?) which claim to be sugar free when they are actually all sugar. It's just that under American food laws if the product contains less than a certain amount of sugar, they can claim to be sugar free. Each individual sweet contains less than that amount, so they are, officially, sugar free. I only ever had one of them and so my portion was "sugar free". Didn't like it anyway but that isn't the point. People who do like them tend not to stick to one.
Radishes, minced lamb, pork sausages and pork belly slices. Nothing else that he could see was suitable. Fine, I'll use the mince and some north African spices and maybe some frozen potatoes out of the freezer to go with it. I'll keep the radishes for some other time.Just about to make bacon and eggs again for breakfast. The packet of bacon is open and on its use by date, so I'd better finish it off today.
2nd meal will depend on what Neil can get for me when he does my shopping this morning. Thursday is leg wrapping day so he leaves me at the clinic and does my shopping before coming back to collect me. I've asked for some pork, some lamb and some sausages as well as some of the more innocuous vegetables (innards still a bit unhappy), so we'll see what he comes back with.
That is the depressing news of the day. Thanks for letting us know, though - it's important to find these things out. Upon reflection, it doiesn't seem to have affected my BG, but - y'know - if I were going to eat or drink sugar, I'd like to do it deliberately.tea in bags has a TINY little bit of sugar put in. If you open one up, you see little white flecks. That's so little sugar they don't have to mention it on the packaging.
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