Why am i doing this to myself?

Dear Snowdrop,
I am so sorry you're having such a struggle at the moment.
How very sad that your husband died so suddenly at such a young age, I'm sure you must have been incredibly strong to cope after such a devastating event.
All I can say is that I'm sure we all find coping with diabetes difficult from time to time. I know I do.
Like you, I realise how important it is to get a grip of myself, my food, my lifestyle, but do I do it consistently? No.
I'm sorry I have no real wisdom to offer, but all I can say is that you sound like a very sensible lady, and I am sure that this is something which you will be able to work through - especially with the support of the forum.
I hope you have one or two good friends or family members who you can talk to a bit, are you the sort of person who is able to share with others about how you're feeling and managing?
Please keep in touch and keep posting.
I'm sure others will have so much more to offer than I do, but I'm thinking of you.
Take care,
Bee Gee

snowdrop345 said:

2 years ago, my 44 year old husband (T2) came home from work and had a heart attack and died. His diabetes was a contributing factor as he was very careless in his control of it. although there were other factors that contributed to this.
2 years later, I am also diagnosed as T2 on metformin. I started off 6 weeks ago very dedicated to controlling and looking after myself. After all im now a single parent of 3 children. So why am I eating all the wrong foods. I'm grieving for the days i could eat what i wanted. Anyone else feel like this? I'm so angry with myself, but i cant stop :-(

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Hi,

I know how you feel as I lost my husband suddenly when he was in his 40s.
You are having a double whammy, grief for him and grief for the life you had prior to diagnosis.

There is a good article here that will help you understand why this is happening. It explains that coming to terms with your diagnosis means that you have to go through the grieving process.
http://www.diabetesexplained.com/the-five-stages-of-grief.html

snowdrop345 said:

2 years ago, my 44 year old husband (T2) came home from work and had a heart attack and died. His diabetes was a contributing factor as he was very careless in his control of it. although there were other factors that contributed to this.
2 years later, I am also diagnosed as T2 on metformin. I started off 6 weeks ago very dedicated to controlling and looking after myself. After all im now a single parent of 3 children. So why am I eating all the wrong foods. I'm grieving for the days i could eat what i wanted. Anyone else feel like this? I'm so angry with myself, but i cant stop :-(

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are you doing the LCHF yet? some people just doing LC, are going to get hungry and carb binge
Dr Eric C. Westman, MD and president elect of the American Society of Bariatric Physicians, has 15 years of experience helping patients lose weight and improve their health using low carb. He has also helped do several high-quality scientific studies on low carb.

" Don't do low carb low fat " @4.00 min into video

snowdrop345 said:

2 years ago, my 44 year old husband (T2) came home from work and had a heart attack and died. His diabetes was a contributing factor as he was very careless in his control of it. although there were other factors that contributed to this.
2 years later, I am also diagnosed as T2 on metformin. I started off 6 weeks ago very dedicated to controlling and looking after myself. After all im now a single parent of 3 children. So why am I eating all the wrong foods. I'm grieving for the days i could eat what i wanted. Anyone else feel like this? I'm so angry with myself, but i cant stop :-(

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Before I got my meter I was also eating the wrong foods but I was thinking they weren't too bad for me as I was following the official government dietary advice. The day I got my meter and saw what these foods were doing to my blood sugar was they day I cut way down on the carbs. If you don't have a meter, then you should get one. If you do have a meter you need to test an hour and 2 hours after eating carby food. It may help you get back on track. And as jack412 said, a LCHF diet reduced my cravings for carby food. That could work for you. And most of all, don't give up fighting. Even if there are setbacks you have to keep trying.

Hi and welcome. I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. If you can let us know where you may need more help with food choice perhaps we can help. Certainly keeping the carbs down and low-GI will help but that does leave the proteins, veg and fats which covers a good range of foods that are OK

Just want to wish you well Snowdrop

I'm sending you good wishes too, Snowdrop. It must be very hard for you.

I get frustrated when I shove a trolley down a whole aisle in the supermarket without hitting anything I am 'allowed' on LCHF and none of the wheat free baking I have tried has been worth chewing! There's always LC jelly and berry fruits with cream for a treat though and the meat was always the best part of dinner in my opinion.

Hello snowdrop. Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry for your loss. So very hard to bear

Hi @snowdrop345

I'm sorry to read of your loss and troubles. I can't relate to all you're going through, but with respect to the foods issue I can honestly say that I've been there (and back) for most of my type 1 life (38 years and counting).

I can't say for sure, but am I correct in assuming that you're trying to "eat all the right foods" in a sort "right, from today I'm going t eat well" frame of mind?

If so, then I suspect you're adding to your emotional and logistical burdens in an unhelpful manner - I've been there too, and I'm reasonably 100% that most others on this forum have as well.

May I suggest that you sit down for a quiet moment and reflect upon what things about your diet that you suspect / know are 'wrong' and then right a list of all the 'wrong foods' you need to cut out and all the 'good foods' you need to add in.

Once you've done that, divide your two lists by 12 (one for good, one for bad) - this is roughly one item to remove and one to add in per month so that your body get's used to not having one thing and having another more frequently

If, after a couple of months, you find that it is still very hard to keep up, then double the time period per two items.

I started radically changing my diet back in September 2013 - it took six months of diligence and relapses to get to the stage where I didn't even notice the biscuit racks in the shops, and that was with just one child an no bereavement.

The thing is this, you've had the most horrendous experience and you also have to continue living and looking after your three children - no easy task without diabetes let alone with it.

Taking things slowly will enable you to make adjustments to your diet, shopping habits, emotional and logistical challenges that bit easier and appropriate to the pace you can realistically hope to manage.

In time, each change will embed itself so that the old habits no longer exist and the new ones are second-nature; and all the time you're making those changes they're lessening the burden and adding to the improvement to your whole body.

In addition to all the other suggestions about LCHF, consider changing some of your food stuffs first, eg:

1. buy wild rice (Waitrose) instead of white or 'wholegrain'
2. change from milk to dark chocolate
3. reduce sugars in drinks and on cereals, etc.

But again, do it slowly so that you barely notice the difference and within six months you'll be able to look back and go "Wow! What a difference I've made!"

With very best wishes,
C.

snowdrop345 said:

2 years ago, my 44 year old husband (T2) came home from work and had a heart attack and died. His diabetes was a contributing factor as he was very careless in his control of it. although there were other factors that contributed to this.
2 years later, I am also diagnosed as T2 on metformin. I started off 6 weeks ago very dedicated to controlling and looking after myself. After all im now a single parent of 3 children. So why am I eating all the wrong foods. I'm grieving for the days i could eat what i wanted. Anyone else feel like this? I'm so angry with myself, but i cant stop :-(

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Oh my goodness - it's not just me then?? I was diagnosed last week and have not done anything but eat chocolate, carbs and potatoes!

Self loathing at the minute!

It's step on road to recovery......learn to forgive yourself and the past.
Now walk forwards and give yourself a chance not just for your sake ! All the very best to you )

Mrs G 80
Oh yes, another sinner! Welcome to my club!
Good to see you here and look forward to getting to know you a little.
Bee Gee

One or two others have mentioned LCHF. Here's a link explaining it:-

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/a-new-low-carb-guide-for-beginners.68695/#post-700543

I think it's perfectly natural, and understandable to struggle, to start with.
Many people pretend their diagnosis didn't happen and just carry on - until the complications set in...

The fact that you've found this forum, recognise the need to change, and are posting here -

Have you any idea how great those three steps are?

Just do one thing.
1. Buy a meter.
Actually, two things.
2. Use your meter.
Actually 3 things
3. Find out what will happen to you if you don't keep your blood glucose on target.

You will find you start adjusting your diet rather quickly.

There you go.
Means and motivation. 1. 2. 3.

And welcome!