Why do friends/family always have to ask?

Dollyrocker said:

Viv wasn't being patronising Sugar but I think you were! :lol:

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Indeed I was, and intentionally so! That was the point of that post. Sorry if you missed the pointDR
The OP was having a moan about something that annoys them...I don't think that it is constructive to say...haven't you got worse things to worry about! I don't think anyone was aying that this is the end of teh world...but if you can't have a moan about this here, where can you? People may not agree, and that is good to post, but to belittle someone seems a bit harsh.

I didn't miss the point at all, Viv wasn't being patronising so asking patronisingly if she could be a bit more patronising was a bit pointless!

Jeez

Debloubed said:

Heavens above. I am pretty gobsmacked that people are a) moaning about others showing an interest in their diabetes and b) people suggesting that anyone go and test in private! Spread the word people! No wonder the general public think that diabetes is a disease that only overweight and unhealthy people get, we need to keep it out of the closet not shove it back in!

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thank god somebody said this. I can't believe how many of you are creeping off to do blood tests. It's not something to be ashamed of.
(Mind you, I'd have something pretty nasty to say to my mum if she started prying into what the results are. It's not a question of her 'showing interest' - which is great - it's a question of whether it is her business to demand the results of my blood tests - which is just nosy. But being honest and saying that it makes me feel on show/on trial/like a kid again seems to work with my mum).

I always ask my daughter what her reading was. But our situation is different in that she's young and I need to know as I'm the one working out how much insulin she needs. But even when she's grown up and living in her own home I'll probably ask when I'm with her because I care. I think it's a natural thing for any parent to ask (or a friend who cares about you). I would never want my daughter to feel that she must test in a bathroom or in private because my asking is something that she finds irritating. I would hope that if this were the case she'd politely explain how she feels and I would respect her wishes and no longer ask.

I like the idea of making it a game with guessing what the reading will be. Jess and I play a little like this with her packed lunch for school each day. I meet her at the medical each day to oversee her doing the injection and before she unzips her lunchbox she has a guess at how many units of insulin she needs (In the morning when I'm packing her lunch I write it on a sticky note in her lunchbox).

SophiaW said:

I always ask my daughter what her reading was. But our situation is different in that she's young and I need to know as I'm the one working out how much insulin she needs. But even when she's grown up and living in her own home I'll probably ask when I'm with her because I care.

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yeah - fair enough if she's 9! And it's great that you care, and I agree it's natural to want to get involved if you love someone. It may be that when she's 39 (like me) she will still want you to ask. But she may have a different relationship with her diabetes, and with you, than that. It may NOT be a nice thing to do when she's an adult - or at least, it may be nice for you, but not for her. My mum knows that asking me my test results would just irritate me, and I am very grateful indeed that she avoids doing it. I suspect it's hard for her to do, but it shows that she respects me as an adult and knows that she doesn't have a 'right' to know every aspect of my life. She shows me that she cares in other ways. Huge respect to her for that.
But as I say... I'm not 9. I'm middle aged (sob!) and my mum's a pensioner!

No-ones ever asked me what the result was, I'd think it was very nosy to ask and would tell them it was none of their business if they did. I can't see any reason why they would need or want to know. If they suspected a hypo because of my behaviour that would be different and I would be pleased with their concern for my welfare if they asked in those circumstances but normally I would think it very very strange if anyone asked.

If I am at my parents house and do a test the usual question is "is it ok?" to which i always reply yes.
When i am home and my other half asks it is usually for a reason ie hypo or sugars been a bit erratic, but when i have been at work i usually did it in private because never had time or inclination to explain to others about it.

When i did the DAFNE course there was a person on it who did bg test so someone would ask what it was but it seemed like they liked the attention.

Different strokes for different folks!!!!!!!

I agree with you 'lost soul' that T1 can be a lifelong treadmill for some. A stony road to travel. My sister in law, at 79, has been T1 since she was 26. Can still see .....just, and walk quite well but has peripheral neuritis and has always been a 'brittle' diabetic. Her husband,who is 80 soon is also diabetic last 20 years. Starting off T2 and going over to T1. I scrubbed for her ceasarian before I married her brother. Her son is OK so far at nearly 50. We ended up managing her diabetes together after the baby ( I hope the NHS is better at this now)!!!!!***** The final observation is that I think early diabetes makes some people very sensitive (the gross unfairness of it all over a lifetime) is a great burden. I never know after 50 odd years how to handle her. She may not know I am T2 and I'm not telling her. She might break her hip falling about laughing!!!!!!

dorjac said:

Starting off T2 and going over to T1.

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I doubt it. Do you mean started off type 1 and then also developed type 2, or do you mean the original diagnoses was wrong and he was type 1 all along, or do you mean type 2 on insulin?

I don't have anyone really so be careful what you wish for as it's horrible being alone and Diabetic . Especially when ill.

My friends never ask me because they don't know what your sugars should be. My parents don't really ask but if they did I wouldn't mind at all. I get very pleased with myself when I see those single numbers :mrgreen:

Can be a bit annoying alright, but I tend to just ignore them when they ask those silly questions.

I did have my dad asking what the blood test meter was the other day as if he'd never seen it before and didn't know what it did. I'll admit I do tend to have a lot of gadgets and he seemed to think it was a new type of phone i think, but it is the least interesting looking gadget he must have ever seen me with. :?:

As the mum of a 5 year old T1 I have to say I would find it really hard not to ask what her levels were if she was old enough to test on her own. I've never hidden her away to test her BG we wash hands then do them wherever we are, to be honest when out and about most public toilets are not the most hygienic of places so I'd rather not check her BG in them. I don't think she should feel embarrassed about it and so far she's always happy to answer questions, she tests in the classroom at school and all her classmates know what she's doing and why, it gives me a bit of reassurance to know as she gets older her friends will have enough knowledge to help her out should she need it.
However should she decide she wants to be more private about it I would totally support that although I seriously doubt I would be able to stop myself enquiring what her readings are. I bet I'll be one of those mums ringing my kid age 40 to see what her BG has been each day! I hope she'll forgive me lol...

As the child of an insulin dependent mother, I found it natural to ask what her levels where. She would test discretely but never hiding what she was doing, and my kids grew up accepting that she did it before meal and then injected. It was just what nana did, and there where even times when they would ask if it were time for her to do it.

It didn't occur to me not to be interested in her health. I don't think she minded my interest she certainly never said anything, but she's been dead for 4 years now so I can't ask her if I was irritating her by asking!