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Will the past haunt me?

B

Bradtimes7

Newbie
Messages
3
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hello all,

I was diagnosed type 1 at age 6.
I am now 32 with a wife and beautiful baby girl.
I am really depressed and worried about my past however....

In my 20's for about 10 years, I smoked, drank, and didn't check my sugars. I was in total denial. As of today I'm complication free and trying to get my AIC to 7, but I'm afraid the damage has already been done and I will be a burden on my family and won't live to see my daughter grow up.

I've waited for a cure my whole life to no end, and I really question if it will happen in my lifetime.

Does anyone have a similar experience that came out on top?

I need some positivity because the Internet is a dark, negative thing sometimes. Im really depressed....
 
Hi @Bradtimes7 .
I'm sorry if I sound thick but if today you have no complications with your diabetes how come you won't see your daughter grow up?
Is your sight damaged or do you feel your depression will stop your fatherly responsibility being fulfilled?
I know I'm type 2 but my childhood best friend has been type 1 since 6yr old. She petitioned for a transplant as her sight was so damaged she wanted to see her son grow up. She is no longer diabetic but the new kidneys are needing transplanting again. She has seen her son grow up and leave home. Yes she has bad eyesight from years of riding her insulin needs and very poor diet.
Can you enjoy your new baby? Can you physically help? Babies can be hard work when your not 100%.
Enjoy your family. Baby will bring you great joy. Relax and enjoy it. It's awesome!
 
Hi dude,

I was diagnosed on my 8th birthday. I'm pretty much headbutting 48..
Yarp. I had a wild time in my 20s too.. Even dabbling with drugs.

Like you the cure was tha carrot on the stick..
These days I keep the D in check.
I'm still amazed & thankful when I walk out of the clinic with no issues whatsoever..

Some of my non D mates didn't fair too well with their lifestyle choices..!

Be lucky. & don't look back..
 
Hi Bradtimes7,like you I did very similar to you,next week I will have been T1 for 54 years,I turned myself around after 10 years and luckily I've escaped with only a couple of very minor complications and still going strong.Look after yourself.
 
@Bradtimes7, focus on the future and not on the past, the past can't be undone but you can change the future.

Your taking good steps now by reducing your HbA1c and by focussing more on your lifestyle, a cure may be years away and may never come so we have to make the best of what we have now, provided you continue to take care of yourself there's no reason why you won't see your children grow-up.

On a personal note I was the same in my late teens/early 20's, didn't have the means to test bg as we do today so often didn't bother but always took my injections, but like you I drank far too much and didn't look after my diabetes very well, I ended up with diabetic retinopathy as a consequence but have been all clear now for the last 12 years and fortunately have no other complications, I've lived with type 1 for 34 years.
 


Hello Brad, Many congratulation on your beautiful baby daughter.
May I put things in perspective for you? There are many people alive today and complication free who have had diabetes for 40,50,60,70,80 years with no complications.
Back then in the early days those people and that does include forum members had no testing strips or A1c's as they had not been invented. Many had just 1 injection a day and others had 2. We had no idea what our control was like or even if we had control.
You can not turn the clock back all you can do is look after yourself now and for the future. Complications are not an inevitable part of diabetes.
I doubt you will ever find a type 1 diabetic who never went off the rails or denial set in. In a way it's part of the acceptance that's this is real and for life. You have now accepted you need to look after your condition and doing a great job, so dwell not on the past and enjoy the present with your family.
 
@Bradtimes7 in answer to your question the past will only haunt you if you allow it to. I have had my ups and downs over the years, but like you I found that I could do it, and like you I am (touch wood) free of complications.

So - and please forgive the cliche - keep calm, carry on, and look to the future rather than the past. And congratulations - it sounds as if you have a wonderful family to enjoy.

Stick with it!

 
Like the rest of the advice here, keep it in check as much as humanly possible. Many of us have dabbled in smoking and drinking into oblivion in our late teens and twenties.

As long as your lifestyle has been changed to a more healthly regime then you probably be alright as the body is quite resiliant, but not indefinitely, it can take a short term battering but in the long run we'll pay the price if not curbing bad habits providing it's not insanely out of control.
 

I am now 32 and was diagnosed when I was 15, so not long after diagnosis I was into the drink, smoking and didnt really look after myself and also was on a mixed insulin which is completely useless for most people......

I still drink at the weekends and have been known to sneak in a cheeky fag if I am away out without the wife...lol.....

I never had any complications up until the last few years where I showed signs of retinopathy....likely due to going from a poor control on a mixed insulin, to reasonable control or a basal/bolus regime overnight...

today, on the pump I still struggle to get my HbA1c below 7%..............

So I would say I am in a similar position to you, maybe slightly worse, but I am happy with my health at the moment and I suppose you potentially could be, but are just going through a hopefully short lived stage of insecurity...

Hopefully it will pass.....you should live and enjoy each day as it comes, try your best with the blood sugars, and enjoy your family....I am very confident you will/can live a perfectly healthy long life....

whats the complications situation at the minute? you say complication free but has there been any changes to your eyes ever, what is your HbA1c at now?
 
thank you. I needed that.
 
I think that most people at some point have concerns about the future whether a diabetic or not. Don't let yourself worry about the
"what if" because these "what if's" may never happen. Don't let the here and now pass you by cos you can't go back.
 
I was diagnosed at 7 and I'm now 56 in May, back in the old days we only had urine tests not very accurate compared to today's home testing kit, during my mid teens to mid twenties I didn't test a lot played Rugby so drinking was part of the culture, I worried a lot for my future thinking I wouldn't make 40, I did make it and I'm still healthy at 56, so please try not to worry control your diabetes as well as you can and enjoy life and your family, good luck for a happy healthy future.
 
I'm another one who lived through the good old/bad old days where we only knew what our blood sugar was once a year at hospital visits, or in between times if we were carted into A&E in an ambulance! I'm comin up to 50 years with T1, with my wild childhood well in the past, and my son is 30 now. So far so good.
What I would say is: get it under control now, and add positive steps to your self care. We know that high blood sugar causes inflammation in blood vessels and organs and many complications are the result of that inflammation. So as well as doing your best to avoid the highs (and it is rare to avoid them completely), make an effort to have an 'anti-inflammatory lifestyle'. That means lots of exercise and a healthy diet ('Eat food, mostly plants'). Be the dad who takes his kids to the park, goes cycling with them, eats a healthy meal at the dinner table together every evening, etc. After a wild youth, that may sound boring. But actually, the addition of a kid/s makes all those things fun.
 
At this exact moment, I don't have any complications. I had slight retinopathy a few years ago, but it has cleared up supposedly. I actually have an eye doc appointment next week. My AIC is usually in the 8's and last time I went to the doc it was 10! As of now, it should be 7 or under however and I'll keep it that way.
 
I was diagnosed aged 7 so like you went thru my teens and beyond wanting to be like everyone else ( got stopped short when I got pregnant when I was 30 ). I ignored it, did my jabs and let my parents and husband cope if I was hypo after overdoing it the night before ( turned out I'd had epilepsy since I was 8 that was misdiagnosed as nocturnal hypos, but that's another story ). But, as my husband pointed out after a bit of a row this weekend, I am a terrible hypochondriac and have a history of assuming every illness I've ever had is 'the end' and is payback time for past misdemeanours. I think diabetes is badly managed by doctors at times and that any complications you do get, or bad blood tests are 'self inflicted' and I've suffered very badly with guilt and paranoia. We are left to handle it alone daily and feel great when it's all working out well, but so bad when it's not. See the nurse, that was a massive turning point for me. She didn't judge me, she just listened while I sobbed about my guilt and worries for the future. We have a laugh now - she's like a friend and understands. The consultants......I've an inherent fear based on my childhood, so she's my best ally. Don't worry so much, it's so hard not to but honestly I do know xxxxxx
 
I feel the same, my mum has had terrible health problems due to diabetes. although on the most part I take good care of myself the future still terrifies me! It's so reassuring to read the comments, because I think the actual worry of how things could be is probably worse than it may turn out! I feel I have learnt from this to take things as they come and just do your best and not worry!!
 

It sounds to me like your trying your best and I suppose some improvements can be made but I don't think you have anything to worry about, the body is resilient......
 

It sounds to me like your trying your best and I suppose some improvements can be made but I don't think you have anything to worry about, the body is resilient......
 
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