Q: DOCTOR, I'VE HEARD THAT CARDIOVASCULAR EXERCISE CAN PROLONG
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? - Take nap.
Q: SHOULD I REDUCE MY ALCOHOL INTAKE?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. - Bottoms up!
Q: WHAT ARE SOME OF THE ADVANTAGES OF PARTICIPATING IN A REGULAR EXERCISE PROGRAM?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...very good!
Q: AREN'T FRIED FOODS BAD FOR YOU?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: IS CHOCOLATE BAD FOR ME?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It's best feel-good food around.
Q: IS SWIMMING GOOD FOR YOUR FIGURE?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: IS GETTING IN SHAPE IMPORTANT FOR MY LIFESTYLE?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
WELL... I HOPE THIS HAS CLEARED UP ANY MISCONCEPTIONS YOU MAY HAVE HAD ABOUT FOOD AND DIETS.