Worried about my father

Oldvatr said:

Hi Twirlywoo, I think that the majority of people on this forum will identify with your story. Either we have been there ourselves, or we know someone going through it. For those of us trying to control our own condition, its a no brainer. Unfortunately, stories of denial provoke feelings of frustration, so you may find replies that are closer to the knuckle than you may be expecting, I hope not.

I was in denial over my smoking habit for 20 years or more. I knew the risks, I knew the price it was costing me and my family, butI refused to give it up. My children nagged me to blazes, but none of it had any effect. I was blinded by my way of life. Then I had 2 strokes in as many weeks. That was the wake up call for me, and I stopped smoking 10 years ago and have never been back to it. But my wife still smokes, and will not give it up, even though she has had health issues herself, she has not had her wakeup call. I could nag, but it will not change things. She will never giveup until she is ready.

Your father has away of life that he is unwilling to 'giveup', and until he is ready to take the steps himself, then this will be the status quo. As I posted elsewhere,'you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink'.

I think it may help if your father could meet other diabetics socially. Conversations will naturally drift to matters diabetic,and this may help your dad understand that he is not alone, and that others have different coping strategies that he might be interested in taking up. You could try to introduce him to a Forum such as here, but this could be interpreted as nagging unless you tread softly. You need to find some way of opening doors for him, then letting him explore at his own pace without being seen to be standing over him or looking over his shoulder.

I think what I am trying to say is that confrontation will get you nowhere, bossing him or fussing over him will not work, but step back and make it clear you are there for him if he needs you may work. Carry on with your own research, and let him know you are doing it so you can offer advice if he needs anything explained. Make it clear he can turn to you for help when he feels he needs it.

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Enclave said:

Sorry to hear about your father, maybe he got the wrong advice at the start of his diabetes (I did, and was doing the same as your father, until I realised the advice my medical team gave me was wrong )
I will tag @daisy1 who will be along with lots of information, that maybe you could print up for your father to read, ( unless the happy to read off the computer screen )

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daisy1 said:

@TwirlyWoo

Hello and welcome to the forum Here is the information, mentioned above, which we give to new members and which I hope you can encourage your Father to read. There are some posts on here which would be very useful for him too. I expect there will be more soon which could help him as well.

BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find over 150,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

• Reduce your carbohydrate intake
• Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes-and-whole-grains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

LOW CARB PROGRAM:
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/low carb program


Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)

• Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l

However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips

The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

• structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
• self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to bloodglucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.

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Brunneria said:

I know how you feel!

My own father is a bright, alert man (when his bg isn't too high). He knows he is diabetic, but is entrenched in the 'but it is healthier than sweets!' ideology (Choc covered crystalised ginger) and 'one won't hurt' several times a day.

Sometimes I despair.

But realistically, he is the only person who can make the changes, and my mother and myself turning into nags wouldn't help his blood glucose (he just goes out and buys his own snacks and treats), but it would sour our relationships terribly.

It saddens me tremendously that i (at 48 yrs) am now in the position of watching him (85 yrs) play out some teenage denial rebellion, but it is what it is. So i keep my trap shut nowadays, saying nothing, eating sensibly in front of him, and refusing to 'enable' him by supplying him with that s#dd#ng crystallised ginger for his birthday.

I also refuse to rise to his bait when he makes himself a hot chocolate and says it is to keep his blood glucose from dipping too low. The man wouldn't know what a hypo was if it bit him on the nose.

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