Yorkshire Farmer.

A farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream and shouts, 'Ey up lad! Tha dunna be drinkin wata frm theer, it's full o horse urine an cow poo'

The bloke says, 'Hey buddy, I'm American - can you speak slower and in English?'

The farmer replies, 'If you use two hands you won't spill any'...