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young female adult

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steve46

Newbie
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1
I have a young adult, Female, 17yrs, diagnosed in 1998 at the age of 3, i being her parent has had many terbulent yrs with her, felt like i;ve had very little support, my daughter yesterday walked home from college totally hypo sugars at 1.4 when she came in, how i yet don't no, people walked passed her, she nearly fell in front of a bus, and a neighbour nocked on us to say u better grab her as she entered the back gate, they all thought she was drunk, I felt sick to the stomach, i can't understand why my daughter can not after all these yrs comprehend her illness, how can i make others aware, how do i let go, i am at my wits end, i'm not sure how much more i can take, any advice please help!

Steve46 (desperate dad)
 
steve46 said:
...I can't understand why my daughter can not after all these yrs comprehend her illness, how can i make others aware, how do i let go, i am at my wits end, i'm not sure how much more i can take, any advice please help!
Click to expand...

I feel for you. Others will be along soon too, but my initial thoughts are:

1. She may have clinical hypo unawareness (or not)
2. Others should be made aware, particularly the college, which has a duty of care... an agreed individual management plan would probably include a BG test prior to leaving for the day. Yes she is 17 but she is not 18, so there are still some rights and responsibilities that you and the college have. You're allowed to ask her to work with you on this.
3. You can get help with letting go (setting healthy boundaries) from a support group or counsellor. This isn't just a diabetes issue - parents and teenagers often need extra support to help cope with challenging circumstances. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Even once she turns 18, you still have the right to set healthy boundaries and if she is living in your home then she has to live by your rules. You can include a rule that people communicate and co-operate to solve important problems. In practice this might mean she tells you if she needs help, for example.
 
Hi,

This is really hard to answer...what kind of relationship do you have with your daughter? Would it be possible for you to sit down with her and explain how worried you are and how her recent hypo scared you? Maybe she'd agree to checking her blood sugar a bit more and making sure she carried some sweets or Lucozade with her all the time. Maybe she's lost hypo awareness in which case this would be even more important.

You must feel really helpless and worried about her. I was diagnosed at 17, and I know gave my Mum some sleepless nights! But until I took responsibility for myself and my condition there was only so much anyone else could do. I think a calm approach which makes her understand how worried you are may help. Small steps, you know? If she would agree to check her blood sugar a bit more and carry sugar with her, maybe that will lead to something else positive?

Really hope you get on ok :thumbup:
 
I am 17 and have had type 1 since I was 7. It would help to know more about the background between you and your daughter/ her condition etc... as I don't want to make any snap judgements. However, I do feel that I can understand how your daughter might be feeling. My parents can get quite frustrated with me when it's "another hypo" or a nighttime high after a failed set change, and I don't tell them. At my latest hospital appointment they were quite upest when they saw the number of hypos I was having, and how low I went. There are several reasons why I often don't tell them though a) I don't want the fuss. b) I don't want the sense that I have 'let them down' - feeling of failure etc... c) I want to believe I can handle it myself. At the end of the day, your daughter, like me, has had to live with this the majoirty of her life, and it can make you feel so out of control and fed up. Beign dependent on something to keep you alive, you want to feel like you can 'cope' becuase otherwise you'll just be reliant on everyone else. When my blood sugar's low, I just think: "why can't I be normal", so you pretend everything's ok. I don't think your daughter (correct me if I'm wrong; I'm sorry, as I know I don't know the full story) is denying her diabetes, she just maybe wants, like my and like many other diabetic teenagers, to live normally. It is a horrible illness, so please do not underestimate how hard it is to deal with sometimes - it isn't just something you 'accept' overnight and live with - everyday for me is a constant battle to accept it. Do send me a message if you want ot talk, and once again I am sorry if I have assumed anything here.

Hope everything is ok :)

Sophie
 
hi I was diagnosed at the age of 8 i am now 59 I feel for you mum. My mum was type 1 diabetic all those yeats ago so she used to know the sins but many times she would spoon fed sugar into me and I would blow it out because I was too busy being a teenager
I am not sure it got any easier through those years. something clicks inside to say I have to be sensible. she cirtainly cannot enjoy the feeling. I dont really have any advice except one thing dont give sugar use small cartons 200ml tesco size pack of six these act far quicker than sugar and when your eating sugur it makes you feel sick. It does not always dissolve as quick as you would like it too. Your daughter can carry these in her bag and just drink one before leaving college. Ugh to sugar or jelly babies apparantly three will work but as a teenager you may be temptd to eat more ha ha hope this helps my thought are with you.
 
sophie7 said:
I am 17 and have had type 1 since I was 7. It would help to know more about the background between you and your daughter/ her condition etc... as I don't want to make any snap judgements. However, I do feel that I can understand how your daughter might be feeling. My parents can get quite frustrated with me when it's "another hypo" or a nighttime high after a failed set change, and I don't tell them. At my latest hospital appointment they were quite upest when they saw the number of hypos I was having, and how low I went. There are several reasons why I often don't tell them though a) I don't want the fuss. b) I don't want the sense that I have 'let them down' - feeling of failure etc... c) I want to believe I can handle it myself. At the end of the day, your daughter, like me, has had to live with this the majoirty of her life, and it can make you feel so out of control and fed up. Beign dependent on something to keep you alive, you want to feel like you can 'cope' becuase otherwise you'll just be reliant on everyone else. When my blood sugar's low, I just think: "why can't I be normal", so you pretend everything's ok. I don't think your daughter (correct me if I'm wrong; I'm sorry, as I know I don't know the full story) is denying her diabetes, she just maybe wants, like my and like many other diabetic teenagers, to live normally. It is a horrible illness, so please do not underestimate how hard it is to deal with sometimes - it isn't just something you 'accept' overnight and live with - everyday for me is a constant battle to accept it. Do send me a message if you want ot talk, and once again I am sorry if I have assumed anything here.

Hope everything is ok :)

Sophie
Click to expand...


Sophie,

What a wonderful articulate young lady you are. Your words of advice are wise beyond your years. Your acceptance of this horrible condition is truly inspirational.

Best wishes

Amber
 
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