all is not well

[Redshank]

So sorry to hear your news. I will be thinking of you

 

[JoKalsbeek]

I am back. It's not good. I have stage 4 incurable kidney cancer which has spread to both lungs with multiple mets. Because of this, it's inoperable. Immunotherapy may be possible. I don't know what else to say at this point. I'm scared.

I do hope immuno is an option... I know it's not exactly a solution, but it can buy precious time. I'm so deeply sorry the news wasn't good...
Hugs, hugs and more hugs,
Jo

 

[Robbity]

Lucy, I'm so sorry to learn your bad news - I hope you'll get all the support and comfort you need to see you through...

 

[HSSS]

How are you doing?

Thinking about you and your family a lot if that counts for anything.

 

[lucylocket61]

How are you doing?

Thinking about you and your family a lot if that counts for anything.

Thank you. It counts for much. I am still lapsing into panic mode and finding it hard to find my courage and acceptance.

 

[plantae]

I wasn't going to respond to this thread, not because I don't care, but because I actually don't know what to say. Shocked is probably a good word and I don't blame you for lapsing into panic mode and finding courage and acceptance hard. You are another person that I've read hundreds or thousands of messages from. You don't know me because I've never responded, but I do read what you write and it's people like you who help me. Thank you

 

[Grant_Vicat]

Thank you. It counts for much. I am still lapsing into panic mode and finding it hard to find my courage and acceptance.

Very much thinking of you. All the very best.

 

[daffy1]

Thank you. It counts for much. I am still lapsing into panic mode and finding it hard to find my courage and acceptance.

So sorry to hear your news , I hope you have people around you to give you the support you need. I know a forum isn’t as personal but there will always be someone here for you

 

[JohnEGreen]

Thank you. It counts for much. I am still lapsing into panic mode and finding it hard to find my courage and acceptance.

You are in my thoughts and prayers

I have been nagging St. Peregrine daily on your behalf, he being the patron saint of cancer patients.

 

[lovinglife]

Just checking in with you Lucy, you’re in my thoughts and prayers every day xx

 

[zand]

Just checking in with you Lucy, you’re in my thoughts and prayers every day xx

Yes, mine too

 

[Outlier]

And from me, kind thoughts, strength and support.

 

[HSSS]

Thank you. It counts for much. I am still lapsing into panic mode and finding it hard to find my courage and acceptance.

I think that it would be a miracle if it were otherwise And I’m sure that almost everyone would be the same. Be kind to yourself and seek out and accept all the support you can get.

 

[Lamont D]

Always in my thoughts and prayers. I'm still stunned by it!

words fail me!

And you know I enjoy a (really) long post.

my best wishes, be safe.

 

[MrsA2]

finding it hard to find my courage and acceptance.

Those are very exacting aims for so early after diagnosis...maybe set your sights on just getting through each day, with whatever range of emotions surfaces?

 

[lucylocket61]

Those are very exacting aims for so early after diagnosis...maybe set your sights on just getting through each day, with whatever range of emotions surfaces?

Good point. My mind is racing to the end months of life, trying to focus on the now is hard. I am so scared of suffering.

 

[Antje77]

Good point. My mind is racing to the end months of life, trying to focus on the now is hard. I am so scared of suffering.

Can you make an appointment with you GP, the hospital or Macmillan especially to address your fears?
I've seen cancer up close in 3 people, and while they've all had some rubbish nights, none of them had to suffer more than they were willing to accept. Talking about this with the ones who help you can help a lot, both practically by talking over all the possibilities to keep you from suffering, and emotionally, by listening to and acknowledging your fears.

At least that's how it went with my father, my close neighbour and my good friend.

 

[Antje77]

How are you @lucylocket61 ?
Have another hug.

 

[lucylocket61]

How are you @lucylocket61 ?
Have another hug.

I am back in hospital. I went in on Thursday with a chest infection. My left lung is surrounded by pleural fluid and has collapsed. I am being looked after and comfortable. My infection is being treated so then they can try to drain my left lung and reinflate it. They are also sorting out some meds for my anxiety. I feel safe and cared for, which is also helping my husband to cope.

I spent the first 27 hours in a chair as there were no beds available, but now I am in the respiratory ward. They have also given me an infusion to help bring my blood calcium levels down, as they were dangerously high.

I am learning to be my own advocate, to communicate clearly and based on logic and reason, and be gentle but insistent.

 

[Antje77]

I am back in hospital. I went in on Thursday with a chest infection. My left lung is surrounded by pleural fluid and has collapsed.

Dang, what a nasty bit of bad luck!

I am being looked after and comfortable. My infection is being treated so then they can try to drain my left lung and reinflate it. They are also sorting out some meds for my anxiety. I feel safe and cared for, which is also helping my husband to cope.

That part sounds much better thankfully.
Hospital can also be a place where you can get a much needed break from everything life throws at you.

Well done on getting better in advocating for yourself in the most effective way, sending good vibes.