My deepest condolences to both you and your family.
I like you have lost a husband to diabetes and its the worst thing to watch someone who doesn't come to terms with this condition and die as a result.
Both myself, my late husband and both our children are/were diabetic. My husband resented it (he was diagnosed at the age of 7) and never checked his blood sugars or did his insulin properly - usually around an hour after eating when he felt ill. He had his first heart attack at the age of 34. The tests they did in hospital at this time showed that he had the first stages of kidney failure. He didn't change any thing and he had his 3rd heart attack while on dialysis at the age of 40. The staff at the Bristol Royal Infirmary's Cardiology dept operated on him but he didn't make it through.
My daughter is now on the same path as her father.She is now 19 and she is admitted to intensive care regularly with ketonacidosis (sorry about the spelling) , at her worst last year it was every fortnight.
This has been going on since she was 12 - before she lost her Dad.
She has been told by well meaning Doctors that she has either a grumbling pancreas, lactose intolerance, she has a problem with alcohol the list goes on. However I believe that she has brittle diabetes that with hard work could be controlled, she just doesn't want to.
A couple of years ago she was given a pump, which was fantastic......until the novelty wore off and she stopped doing her blood sugars or counting carbs, I also believe she was eating a huge amount of sugary products as I found chocolate wrappers hidden in her room several times
I offer my daughter my support, advise and opinions but as she no longer lives with me I have no say as to what she does, eats or anything.
I understand about resenting diabetes, I was 16 when I was diagnosed type 1 and thought my life was over. I became a bit of a rebel, became pregnant with my daughter and then hit earth with a very heavy bump
I haven't been the best role model, whilst caring for her Dad my diabetes control was low on my list of priorities resulting in severe retinopathy among other things. And I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so have been known to have extra insulin so I can have chocolate or pudding. However I have found a fantastic man who I married last September, he supports me with my diabetes and other ongoing conditions and with his support my Hba1c is down from 14 to 9.6 - still a long way to go but getting there
The reason for this long winded post other than to add to the condolences, is to ask for other peoples advice and experiences with teenagers, bereavement and diabetes.
I am so scared that the next phone call will be that she has been found in a coma again, but that she was found too late.