Do you ever feel ashamed?

[Guzzler]

Like all bullies the Mars Bar Warrior chose his victim. He would never have done that had you had your partner/male freind with you. Try not to worry too much about guys who get their kicks out of making some gesture that they can feel smug about. Like my old Mum used to say 'What can't think can't feel'.

 

[serenity648]

My point is more that fat shaming, leaping to assumptions, victim blaming, and lack of filtering is alive, well and very vocal, especially right now, during this current media storm over how much us diabetics are costing the NHS, and linking it to a lack of proper care being available for the "deserving" ill.

Rather like the "deserving" and "undeserving" poor narrative going on along side it.

 

[Guzzler]

My point is more that fat shaming, leaping to assumptions, victim blaming, and lack of filtering is alive, well and very vocal, especially right now, during this current media storm over how much us diabetics are costing the NHS, and linking it to a lack of proper care being available for the "deserving" ill.

Rather like the "deserving" and "undeserving" poor narrative going on along side it.

@serenity648 Well said.

 

[Chook]

You have to feel sorry for the people that share Mars Bar Man's life - pity his wife / workmates - how awful to live or work with such a judgemental idiot.

I must be the odd one out here - I've never really felt anyone was judgemental and if they've made comments about it I haven't noticed. I've never felt that developing T2 was my fault and where I used to work it was a sackable offence to make those kind of personal comments. My employers and co-workers made me feel very supported with my T2.

The ONLY time I've ever felt judged was by my own GP and that wasn't over my T2 but over my decision to try LCHF.

 

[Chook]

I am not ashamed. But I am unhappy at the response I get, as an obese t2, from people. Maybe the slim t2's dont get comments about it being their own fault, or dirty looks from complete strangers. Its bad enough the response I get just being fat, let alone "letting myself go and costing the NHS a fortune, instead of looking after myself I am so selfish, what about all those people who deserve NHS treatment and the doctors cant afford to treat them" = actual comment from complete stranger.

I refuse to explain my medical history to strangers, why should I? But is hard, going out in public, going to the gym and the swimming pool, and getting this type of stuff happen. If I get angry, I am also in the wrong. Please, dont answer this post if you are going to tell me I should be stronger, less affected, bring this on myself.

example: In Tescos, got a pack of mars bars for my son, amongst other shopping in trolly. Man comes up, take mars bars out of my trolley, and said "no wonder you are so fat, eating this stuff, costing the NHS money, you should be ashed of yourself.

I was alone, I was intimidated, I was shocked. I cried and went home, without my shopping. So maybe posters on here think I am also a spineless wimp for not challenging him, but not all of us can do this. As a domestic violence survivor, I freeze and cry. I refuse to be ashamed of my response. I just wish the general public would keep out of my decisions and life. No wonder i am semi-agoraphobic.

The media are driving this blaming culture. They can say stuff with no challenge, so people on the street seem to think they are "helping" by pointing out my "failings" or getting angry about the NHS budget because they have been fed a load of lies and they believe it, because instead of blaming politicians, its easier to blame people like me for NHS shortages.

Rant over.

No, not a spineless wimp - but someone that was in shock by having had that sort of thing happen.

Yes, I agree that the media are driving this - smokers first, now us - its a shame they don't focus on who gives us the advice to eat that high carb low fat 'healthy' diet in the first place.

 

[Teammidwife]

I too feel rather guilty. Diagnosed just over a year ago (aged 64), got my Hba1 to 46, off metformin now. But feel guilty as 1) am pension-age, therefore drain on nhs
2) t2 diabetic therefore drain on the nhs
I retired 6 months ago having worked in the nhs as a midwife for years.

 

[JohnEGreen]

Yes the NHS would be fine if it where not for all the sick people.

 

[PattiT]

You have to feel sorry for the people that share Mars Bar Man's life - pity his wife / workmates - how awful to live or work with such a judgemental idiot.

I must be the odd one out here - I've never really felt anyone was judgemental and if they've made comments about it I haven't noticed. I've never felt that developing T2 was my fault and where I used to work it was a sackable offence to make those kind of personal comments. My employers and co-workers made me feel very supported with my T2.

The ONLY time I've ever felt judged was by my own GP and that wasn't over my T2 but over my decision to try LCHF.

Chook, are you obese? It seems that being T2 AND obese attracts a lot of negativity from the media

 

[Chook]

Chook, are you obese? It seems that being T2 AND obese attracts a lot of negativity from the media

Yes, unfortunately. Ideally I'd like to be 3 st lighter - I was bigger but I've lost some since starting low carb.

 

[SockFiddler]

That's the first time I've ever seen someone ask the question without any spite, agenda or accusation, and the first time I've ever seen someone answer it without hesitation, guilt or defensiveness.

I love this forum.

 

[Chook]

That's the first time I've ever seen someone ask the question without any spite, agenda or accusation, and the first time I've ever seen someone answer it without hesitation, guilt or defensiveness.

I love this forum.

I look on this forum as my 'safe place' - I think mostly people here are in the same boat as me - just learning how to do their best for themselves and then helping others by passing along that information. I especially like it when we get someone newly diagnosed in a huge panic and very upset thinking its the end of their world and then a couple of months later - after having put in to practice all the stuff they've learned here - they post the results of their next HbA1c with pride. Lovely.

 

[Bon83]

I look on this forum as my 'safe place' - I think mostly people here are in the same boat as me - just learning how to do their best for themselves and then helping others by passing along that information. I especially like it when we get someone newly diagnosed in a huge panic and very upset thinking its the end of their world and then a couple of months later - after having put in to practice all the stuff they've learned here - they post the results of their next HbA1c with pride. Lovely.

I agree this forum does help you explore your own findings and other people's. Even if something is way off from the norm there could be someone else who has experienced it. I have found the nhs treatment so narrow minded and patronising at times! I have seen a consultant twice who was quite good but they have gone now. I totally sympathise with people who feel targeted by the media. As harsh as it sounds I think the focus has gone off smokers, drug addicts and alcoholics because they die. More costly are those that stay alive. I have a wide variety of friends some of whom have 'damaged' themselves through lifestyles (and got better) but none are viewed as negatively as people who are over weight. It's so unfair.

 

[douglas99]

I agree this forum does help you explore your own findings and other people's. Even if something is way off from the norm there could be someone else who has experienced it. I have found the nhs treatment so narrow minded and patronising at times! I have seen a consultant twice who was quite good but they have gone now. I totally sympathise with people who feel targeted by the media. As harsh as it sounds I think the focus has gone off smokers, drug addicts and alcoholics because they die. More costly are those that stay alive. I have a wide variety of friends some of whom have 'damaged' themselves through lifestyles (and got better) but none are viewed as negatively as people who are over weight. It's so unfair.

I can't really agree, overweight has many connotations.
Drug addicts alcoholics, smokers, they don't all die. Not if you look out for them.
(although some are a handful, and trying not to get a Glaswegian kiss from someone who'll be cooking breakfast can be a trial, if you don't want to carry them home after you've persuaded them to go to sleep)
Everyone has someone who'll miss them, just because life has gone wrong for them, don't write them off.

 

[Bon83]

I can't really agree, overweight has many connotations.
Drug addicts alcoholics, smokers, they don't all die. Not if you look out for them.
(although some are a handful, and trying not to get a Glaswegian kiss from someone who'll be cooking breakfast can be a trial, if you don't want to carry them home after you've persuaded them to go to sleep)
Everyone has someone who'll miss them, just because life has gone wrong for them, don't write them off.

Yes it was a bit of a sweeping statement - I just feel that food and bad eating seems to be the latest trend to be under the spotlight. not always with the view to "helping" people more like punishing them. But that's the way that telly and magazines etc work I guess.

 

[leslie10152]

Like all bullies the Mars Bar Warrior chose his victim. He would never have done that had you had your partner/male freind with you. Try not to worry too much about guys who get their kicks out of making some gesture that they can feel smug about. Like my old Mum used to say 'What can't think can't feel'.

I once felt like that. But now I stand proud, as I am stronger than the average person.

 

[ickihun]

I too feel rather guilty. Diagnosed just over a year ago (aged 64), got my Hba1 to 46, off metformin now. But feel guilty as 1) am pension-age, therefore drain on nhs
2) t2 diabetic therefore drain on the nhs
I retired 6 months ago having worked in the nhs as a midwife for years.

Not a drain but a patient. No patients, no nhs.
I like you have paid thousands in tax and national insurance. I earned my wages in the city of London so paid huge amounts of tax in my career years. Often paid £500 per month tax and ni.
I have participated in paying for the nhs. I'm currently not working but want to get back to work asap. I need the nhs to get me there. Diabetes just part of my health problems.

 

[leslie10152]

Yes it was a bit of a sweeping statement - I just feel that food and bad eating seems to be the latest trend to be under the spotlight. not always with the view to "helping" people more like punishing them. But that's the way that telly and magazines etc work I guess.

Diabetes is not a crime, so don't punish those who live with it!

 

[Bon83]

I can't really agree, overweight has many connotations.
Drug addicts alcoholics, smokers, they don't all die. Not if you look out for them.
(although some are a handful, and trying not to get a Glaswegian kiss from someone who'll be cooking breakfast can be a trial, if you don't want to carry them home after you've persuaded them to go to sleep)
Everyone has someone who'll miss them, just because life has gone wrong for them, don't write them off.

Oh you're completely right - anyone who faces any kind of issue has been down a road that took them there. I would never make a judgement about someone's scenario as I haven't walked in their shoes.

 

[himtoo]

I have been ashamed as a type 1 many years ago as I learned to live with this condition , and also feel so very sorry for people with type 2 that feel shame - none of us asked for this horrible condition --

 

[Sarah69]

I don't like telling anyone I'm diabetic because immediately their attitude changes to they think they know best or they're asking every 5 mins if I'm ok etc both od which I can't bear! I work as a nursing assisitant, hours 7am - 7.30pm I get up for work at 4.45 have my breakfast around 5.30. Our first break in the morning is at 9.00am, I was sitting in the staff room on Wednesday and this woman said to me should'nt you be eating now? So I said I've had my breakfast before I come to work. She replied oh I thought you had to eat a regular times so I said no of course you dont! She went on to say your not supposed to work nights either are you? I mean where do people get this stuff from?! So I would sooner nobody knew about it than to come out with rubbish like that which make me angry.