Search
Search titles only
By:
Search titles only
By:
Home
Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
Search
Search titles only
By:
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Install the app
Install
Reply to Thread
Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the
Diabetes Forum Survey 2024 »
Home
Forums
Diabetes Management
Emotional and Mental Health
Feeling flat - Failed again.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Winnie53" data-source="post: 1429153" data-attributes="member: 160246"><p>[USER=347792]@Maggie/Magpie[/USER] did you have a healthy relationship with your mother throughout your childhood and your 20's? Also, how were your 20's spent?</p><p></p><p>I ask, because I didn't have a healthy relationship with my mother, though she's a nice person, which made it hard for me to know what's "normal" with the roles now reversed - (I have two stepson's, ages 41 and 39, and a son, age 29). I also became a wife and step parent at age 19, so I went directly from living in my parent's home to my husband's home. I actually missed out on my 20's developmentally.</p><p></p><p>All three of our children love us, but they're mostly engaged in their lives, first with school, then with their careers, then with finding a life partner, then with becoming home owners, and then with the rearing of their own children, which is where we are now. We greatly enjoy our time together but we're not integrated in their day to day lives, though I know some parents are with their adult children.</p><p></p><p>I don't know either what's going on with your daughters.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps, when you feel ready, you can ask them. That's my plan.</p><p></p><p>I figure I've given my son 10+ years to get some grounding in who he is and where he wants to go with his life - (he has a career and home but not a life partner yet).</p><p></p><p>At this point, I'd like to see and talk with him more often too. So this summer, the plan is to begin the conversation about what our relationship could be now that we're both firmly established in our adult lives. Not sure how he'll respond, or how our thinking will change and evolve each time we revisit this conversation over the next few years, but I think it's an important conversation.</p><p></p><p>I think healthy relationships are a dance. We make a move, then we wait for them to make a move.</p><p></p><p>A life threatening accident or illness is a unique circumstance, of course, but in general, I make my needs known to my family and friends, but I don't make demands of them because I know if the first person I ask can't meet a specific need, I usually can find someone else who can.</p><p></p><p>An acquaintance once said to me that the most difficult aspect of cancer is "all the unknowns". I think not knowing is usually harder than knowing. But I also don't think you should ask your daughters until you feel ready...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Winnie53, post: 1429153, member: 160246"] [USER=347792]@Maggie/Magpie[/USER] did you have a healthy relationship with your mother throughout your childhood and your 20's? Also, how were your 20's spent? I ask, because I didn't have a healthy relationship with my mother, though she's a nice person, which made it hard for me to know what's "normal" with the roles now reversed - (I have two stepson's, ages 41 and 39, and a son, age 29). I also became a wife and step parent at age 19, so I went directly from living in my parent's home to my husband's home. I actually missed out on my 20's developmentally. All three of our children love us, but they're mostly engaged in their lives, first with school, then with their careers, then with finding a life partner, then with becoming home owners, and then with the rearing of their own children, which is where we are now. We greatly enjoy our time together but we're not integrated in their day to day lives, though I know some parents are with their adult children. I don't know either what's going on with your daughters. Perhaps, when you feel ready, you can ask them. That's my plan. I figure I've given my son 10+ years to get some grounding in who he is and where he wants to go with his life - (he has a career and home but not a life partner yet). At this point, I'd like to see and talk with him more often too. So this summer, the plan is to begin the conversation about what our relationship could be now that we're both firmly established in our adult lives. Not sure how he'll respond, or how our thinking will change and evolve each time we revisit this conversation over the next few years, but I think it's an important conversation. I think healthy relationships are a dance. We make a move, then we wait for them to make a move. A life threatening accident or illness is a unique circumstance, of course, but in general, I make my needs known to my family and friends, but I don't make demands of them because I know if the first person I ask can't meet a specific need, I usually can find someone else who can. An acquaintance once said to me that the most difficult aspect of cancer is "all the unknowns". I think not knowing is usually harder than knowing. But I also don't think you should ask your daughters until you feel ready... [/QUOTE]
Verification
Post Reply
Home
Forums
Diabetes Management
Emotional and Mental Health
Feeling flat - Failed again.
Top
Bottom
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Ad free.
Join the community »
This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn More.…