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I think I’m out too. ...

Discussion in 'Type 1.5/LADA Diabetes' started by Kristin251, Oct 29, 2017.

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  1. Brunneria

    Brunneria Other · Moderator
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    We would rather have a full time job on our hands than for some members to go about crusading their own personal agenda and causing an unnecessarily unpleasant atmosphere for everyone else.

    The Report system is specifically designed so that members are not required to experience the kind of antagonism that a few individuals have been deliberately inciting in recent weeks. Each post may seem almost benign, but by Reporting each one, we mods can build up a pattern of where the troublemakers are, and who they are targeting, and apply appropriate sanctions.

    Everyone using the forum came here for support, and to support each other. The large number of antagonistic exchanges lately are destructive and are driving away people who want to help each other.

    Please, everyone, read the forum rules again (link in my signature). The essence of the rules is that we are here to offer a supportive community where differences are resolved politely. It is perfectly possible to hold differing opinions and express them helpfully and kindly.

    If you (or anyone) is posting in another mindset then it is you (or those others) who should be walking away from the forum - not the kind, well meaning people who are are being driven away by the petty bickering.
     
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  2. Jaylee

    Jaylee Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi @therower ,

    We are here in a position to make a call on what constutes as "bullying" (the main point of @woodywhippet61 's post.)
    Which of course should be reported when spotted..
     
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  3. woodywhippet61

    woodywhippet61 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Just to set the record straight. I have no intention of reporting any post for being sad or negative. Unless of course I feel that the poster needs the help of the mods. There are a lot of sad posts on here where people feel lost and in despair over their health.
     
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  4. Chook

    Chook Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Please don't go @Kristin251 - I always enjoy your posts and very much appreciate the advice you've given to me and other members. Don't let a small group of people with a different agenda than the rest of us drive you away.
     
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  5. Juicyj

    Juicyj Type 1 · Moderator
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    Hi @Kristin251

    Incredibly sad to read your post- a tough decision I am sure but maybe just take some time out and reconsider instead. Different opinions and views are what makes the forum what it is, if you feel upset by any comments made let us know that’s what we’re here for x
     
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  6. Tipetoo

    Tipetoo Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    No worries there Prem, we can keep on keeping discussing our favourite in it, and raise a glass to @Kristin251 at the same time.

    http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/amazing-awesome-avocados.124266/

    It will, but it's our shopping day on Thursday and WA Avacados are on special.

    Come home Kristin, lots of posters want you back in our fold.
     
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  7. Speedbird

    Speedbird Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I’m just a look in and go kinda person. Very rarely do I post but I love this forum, and Kristin you are definitely one of my favourites. I don’t know who has upset you or how. Just remember that there are more of us that admire you and your posts. It’s always informative and fun.
    Your loving relationship with avocados is just delightful and brings a smile to my face every time.
    Don’t disappear. You are invaluable. X
     
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    #27 Speedbird, Oct 29, 2017 at 7:28 PM
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2017
  8. Billy_Pilgrim

    Billy_Pilgrim LADA · Active Member

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    I always miss the dramas, but suffice to say I am sad to see you go, Kristin. You helped me out a lot, but I secretly still suspect you were a shill for Big Avocado.
     
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  9. Kristin251

    Kristin251 LADA · Well-Known Member

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    Awe. I just wanted to pop in and say I’m still just lurking until the dust settles but you all have been so kind in your words I want to hug you all! Along with the lovely things you’ve all said, and the tears that came with reading them, I’ve had quite a few chuckles to say the least. And some out right laughter. You all are the people that make this forum a better place!!

    For now I’ll just lurk and maybe post in the funny stuff threads and keep it simple. This forum has been such a part of my life it’s hard to let go and you all are right. Why let a few baddies make me leave when there are so many more goodies!! Or greaties! I wouldn’t know all I know or have been able to find my diet without this forum. I owe that to many of you.

    It’s funny/odd that most of my issues are with T1’s! I want to go back to the T2 camp!! If only...

    You all are great friends!! Im feeling a bit better already!

    Cheers to avo and vodka!
     
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    #29 Kristin251, Oct 29, 2017 at 7:58 PM
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2017
  10. Oldvatr

    Oldvatr Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I agree that a healthy Forum should be able to discuss differing POVwithout rancour, and, indeed, this is how I learn new things that I can apply in my life. This has often left me changing direction in my thinking, which I regard as being healthy,

    I am sad that @Kristin251 has experienced such antagonism. I think most posters here have experienced this, and there have been times when I too have withdrawn from the forum. I know I can be a bit brusque at times, and fight my corner strongly at times, and I apologise if others feel I have bullied them.

    I endeavour to cross refer to other strategies where I can, since the path I am on is unique to me, and is not always applicable across the board. I too have noticed that recently my inbox of notifications has reduced considerably, and that there are not many threads with active discussion going on. I miss many of the 'faithfuls' that used to post frequently, and I hope that they will return. I too have had personal issues to deal with that have consumed my time, so I am not as active as I used to be.

    This used to be an enlightened platform for discussion, and a mine of information. I hope it recovers from its present woes
     
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    #30 Oldvatr, Oct 29, 2017 at 8:12 PM
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2017
  11. Salvia

    Salvia Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

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    Yaaaay ! That's the ticket. :D Great to know - see you when you're ready :)
     
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  12. Lamont D

    Lamont D Reactive hypoglycemia · Master

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    Hi!

    Just a bit of support from another that has a reason to hang around.
    We have been successful in getting our conditions their own sub forum on this wonderful helpful website.
    I have often wondered what would happen to these forums if I stopped.
    I am not perfect, I appreciate any help and viewpoint and I've made a lot of mistakes.
    I say sorry and move on.
    We have lost some wonderful knowledgeable people due to how this site has developed over the years.
    We are all a ripple in the pond but some make a bigger wave.
    You are one of those.

    Your forum needs you.
    In fact, the avocado industry is already in meltdown because of the original post.

    Lurk a little bit more please!

    Lamont.
     
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  13. Indy51

    Indy51 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    @Kristin251 - please stick around. These might be fighting words - but look at it this way, if you leave, whoever "they" are wins. Personally, I wouldn't give 'em the satisfaction of driving me away. Get busy with that report button instead ;)

    I don't often read Type 1 threads, so I've missed whatever has been happening to you. However, I've seen what I consider stalking and bullying behaviour by some posters on other threads. I wish I'd reported it at the time. I won't hesistate in future, so thanks to the mods for encouraging us to do so.
     
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  14. Scott-C

    Scott-C Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Oh, come on, guys/gals, we're all kinda losing the plot here!

    Sure, there's been a bit of tension recently. Having read the posts in question (which, properly read and understood, show absolutely none of the violence which people who haven't actually read them say they do), it seems to me that the people who are bailing out are people who are a bit annoyed that the rest of us are not as enthusiastic about lchf as they are.

    That's not being aggressive, it's just a different point of view. I mdi on a not particularly low carb diet, and I don't suffer from wild rollercoasters, I'm not hypoing every ten minutes, I've no complications after 30 years in the game, and I'm sure as hell not going to tell a newly dx'd T1 to avoid toast!
     
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  15. serenity648

    serenity648 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    1) how do you know if people have properly read them?
    2) define 'properly' as it appears to me to mean 'read them the way other people think they should have read them'
    3) people have right to feel the way they do about the things they read. No-one else can come along and tell them what is an appropriate reaction to what they have read. Hurt is individual and personal.

    Lets not negate others feelings, dumb them down, tell them they are wrong to feel that way.

    I, unlike many of the frequent posters, am a diet controlled type 2 who eats to my meter, and my meter tells me I thrive on 80-120g of carbs a day. Yes, I get pee'd off at the ones who swoop in at almost the first reply to a newbie, and tell them to ditch all carbs or they are doomed. But I recognise their right to post their experiences, and recognise the right of posters to their feelings.

    I can assure you that I am capable of both understanding and reading the posts on this thread, and still disagree with some of them, and honour the feeling of my fellow diabetics on here. So do most of the posters.

    The perception of aggression is in the heart of the one on the receiving end. If it feel like aggression, sounds like agression and acts like aggression - its aggression.

    I'm done with this forum.
     
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  16. Scott-C

    Scott-C Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    When the people who incorrectly heavily criticised posters for being aggressive were asked to point out which parts of the text were aggressive, they either didn't bother replying or admitted that they hadn't read the text and, having done so, agreed that it wasn't aggressive after all - they only said so because they'd read some other people saying it was aggressive, so assumed it must be so because other people had said so without bothering to read it for themself. None of it was aggresive at all but once someone suggested it was, it suddenly became so.
     
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  17. himtoo

    himtoo Type 1 · Moderator
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    I just want to add that I think we can all co-exist on this forum by being tolerant and friendly to each other.

    I know @Kristin251 eats a diet of less than 30 carbs per day on average , whereas I eat around 100-120 carbs per day.

    we both take insulin , and for both of us that will not change ( unless there is a miracle cure )

    neither of us are right and neither of us are wrong ......... we are just different.

    walking in somebody else's shoes helps to understand this .

    I hope Kristin has a rethink and decides to stay with us for the long term
    x
     
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  18. Guzzler

    Guzzler Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    When I first joined this forum I thought that I had finally found a corner of the internet that wasn't filled with haters and people who think that because they write from behind a screen that affords them freedom to be uncivil and unkind. I was incredibly naiive, it seems. This group, as with any other large community, has its cliques, it just took me a while to get to recognise them.
    I have made mistakes, I cannot deny that, but there have been times when I have thought that comments have been directed at me soley because of my status as a T2 rather than in regard to what I have said. The phrase 'Cold Shoulder' is apt here. I find this kind of behaviour distasteful in adults, especially coming from adults who have joined a forum that is geared toward education and support. Cliques have no place in a support group and neither do echo chambers.

    While I can say that I have not seen any overt bullying I have seen small groups of people who have made unwarranted criticisms sometimes of a personal nature against others. Comments that I would guess that they would never make IRL.
     
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  19. Kristin251

    Kristin251 LADA · Well-Known Member

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    Dear @serenity648
    @serenity648 DONT GO!! I have changed my attitude and I will fight the bullies WHEN I feel the need. You’re precious and so gentle. Kind of the big balance from the bullies.

    Moderator edit to remove personal derogatory comment to another member.
     
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    #39 Kristin251, Oct 30, 2017 at 12:11 AM
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2017
  20. Kristin251

    Kristin251 LADA · Well-Known Member

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    This tread has made me see things through different glasses ( yes I’m over 50 haha).. there are far too many amazingly awesome people with an abundance of knowledge that are so kind and gentle with great views and experiences. Full of joy and laughter. As @Indy51 said and many more, don’t let em win. I’m by nature a lover and not a quitter. I really hope all rhe gentle, kind loving souls don’t drop off like flies. We NEED you balance the bullies.Not to fight back if you do t like but to balance. That being said, rather than having drop off, maybe we should fight back?

    One mans poison is another mans fuel. ALL our experiences givesnusv thinga to think about and test the theories. May or may not work but then we know.

    @Guzzler. I agree. I’m an adult and the distasteful and critism unwarranted. Yup. A tad too clique for me. And yes, same people. I’ll stick with the ones I love that aren’t a*sholes and ram it down your throats.

    I’m a lover but also I fighter. I GET WITHOUT A DOUBT IM OCD but insulin makes me feel like junk. All meds and supps do so I do what to can to EASE the pain. The weirdest and greatest thing is I can clearly see now what make a me IR. Never really knew as T2.

    All of you other than one person have made me stronger in such a short time. Why would I leave so many wonderful people because of some arrogant power hungry people?

    And thank you for calling this forum HOME. Most families are disfunctionl so why wouldn’t this one be. I LOVE most of you. ♥️♥️♥️
     
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    #40 Kristin251, Oct 30, 2017 at 12:37 AM
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2017
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