Hi
@Weeheather , welcome to the forum and much love to you during this difficult time.
While I don't (yet) parent a child with diabetes, I've worked with families with hospitalised children - often renal and cancer patients - who had the same fear development that your son has described. At first they seem fine with procedures, but then, either gradually or overnight, they very anxious and fearful about them.
The opinion was that these kids (and probably your son, too) started off being terribly brave, the novelty of their situation off-setting their anxiety and, buoyed up by their parents encouragement and praise, they were able to cope very early on, when their treatments were new to them.
But, over time, the novelty wore off and routine set in, and these children started to understand not only the seriousness of their condition (and no matter how young they are, kids are incredibly capable of reading the mood in a room at any given time), but also that these procedures would keep going on and on. Often, it was anxiety about their illness in general that was causing the difficulties when it came to invasive procedures and a single piece of equipment came to represent everything the children were anxious about.
The staff in this particular children's hospital are something of a pioneering lot, and they were always trying little things to try to offset, comfort or understand what the root of this fear was. Two in particular (I hope) might be of some use to you.
The first is the use of a puppet, either controlled by you or your child. There were two approaches taken to this. The first was a doctor puppet who was funny, playful, reassuring and only hung around as long as the child was interested. It served to remove the fear from medicine itself, and staff would pretend to be disengaged from the child, apparently watching telly or reading a book, while the child and the doctor puppet chatted. Quite often, a child would ask questions about their condition that no-one else had heard before. Occasionally, the puppet had to be present at all procedures, but it had become that particular child's "shield" in a way.
The second approach was with a puppet that was, itself, a child patient, that was also scared and going through a similar experience. Often isolation does strange things to a child's mind, and feeling less alone in their situation can be of huge comfort (as it can be to adults!).
There are various articles about "medical play", and it might be worth trying to contact your local CAMHs team to see if you can get a couple of sessions about your child's anxiety (assuming you're in the UK)
http://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/ch...to-ease-kids-anxiety-about-medical-procedures
The second thing that I've seen be incredibly effective with fearful children is a technique called "Wait, Watch Wonder".
Before I go any further, please don't think I'm implying anything about the quality of your parenting! The fact is that you love your son, you're worried about him and you're doing your best. But, in terms of your relationship, your bond with him is being stretched currently - you have to deliver medication that he is resisting, and in fighting you for up to an hour, he's expressing his mistrust.
"Watch, Wait and Wonder" is a very simple technique that seeks to restore that bond, reassure your child and. hopefully, rebuild his trust in you. It won't tackle the problem you're facing specifically, but if your son trusts you more, it could well lead to him being less fearful of his injections. While it was designed to facilitate very early childhood bonds, one-to-one, child-led interaction has proven to be incredibly effective in all kinds of settings, including the hospital.
http://watchwaitandwonder.com/
In short, give your child something to play with (let him choose) and sit next to him and watch him closely. Give him your full attention. Turn off the TV, radio, take the phone off the hook. The next ten minutes are all about him. Watch him play, show interest. If he invites you to join in, join in but according to his demands. Put him completely in control of the situation. And if you find, after 10 minutes, neither of you are ready to finish, keep going.
Then, finally, thank him for his time - let him know you enjoyed it, and take a few minutes more to think about what your child's play might have been telling you about he's feeling (and there is no easy read for this, and the best guide for it will be your own instincts).
Again, it could be worth getting in touch with your local CAMHS team for a bit of guidance, though I'd argue it's actually incredibly simple to sit next to your child and watch them play for ten minutes and you don't need a crash course in it unless you want to psychoanalyse what he got up to.
I can't seem to find any good (non-babbly) information about this except a super-perky US social worker's video, but she does sum it up nicely:
I do hope this helps. And I hope that you keep posting here - this forum is full of people with every imaginable experience, who are patient, kind and eager to help.
Good luck to you and your son - take a breath and know you're not alone.
Sock x