Thanks for taging me
@Totto, I hadn't seen this.
I completely understand what you're going through
@Janice2209 as I'm in a similar situation (though not been offered bariatric surgery yet).
My history with food
I've been an over-eater and starver for years and my weight has always gone up or down (mostly up) depending on whether I'm in binge-mode or starve-mode. More recently, I've been in starve mode, because I have a lot of weight to lose after being in binge-mode for so long. Essentially I'm an "all or nothing" eater and rarely have any kind of balance. My thoughts and feelings about food are not normal, I feel guilty for eating anything, I obsess over counting calories and macronutrients, I am plagued by strong compulsions to eat, which can literally dominate my thoughts for days on end. These thoughts are intrusive, distressing, unhelpful and have destroyed my confidence and self esteem as they've made me lie to those I love, for one thing (secret eating/starving etc). I once asked my GP for help and was laughed out of the room, told I wasn't underweight so I couldn't get any help. I felt humiliated and ashamed.
Fast forward to July 2014
I kept getting recurrent abscesses, one of which required emergency surgery under GA and I got another one in June. This abscess again resulted in surgery, but 6 weeks later it still hadn't healed and was still constantly re-infecting itself. I saw my GP, who did a finger prick test (8mmol/l after not eating for 12 hours). That started me on a journey down the diabetes investigations (eventually came back prediabetic range).
I went to Occ Health to see if they couldsupport me in asking my manager to allow me to work from home for part of the working day (logistically easier as the abscess was draining a lot and neededa lot of soaking and cleaing etc). I told her I was being investigated for diabetes and broke down in tears telling her I felt so ashamed of the damage I'd done to my own body and went into my odd relationship with food. She referred me for some CBT with an eating disorder specialist. That's the short version of the story.
CBT
I'm currently doing CBT and a self guided eating disorder recovery programe which is managed by the CBT therapist. I could also have got this through my GP but would probably have needed a Psych diagnosis first. I could also have paid for it privately at about £100 a session. However, my employer agreed to pay for 12 sessions as they want me to be well and healthy. I have a fantastic manager and employer who are really supportive ad can't do enough to help; I'm lucky! I'm only 1 week into the programme, and I do have a thread about it in the Mind, Body and Spirit forum here.
However, in the meantime...
I saw the endocrinologist last week ad it became apparent that I probably have PCOS, which isn't helping the weight gain and insulin resistance, so I'm going through investigations fr that now. I also mentioned me relationship with food and asked him what help was available through them. Our hospital has a weight management clinic at the Diabetes Centre, but it's GP referral only, so he's writing to my GP to ask her to refer me. The weight management clinic has dieticians and psychologists. Obviously, I'm interested in the psychological approach. I'm hoping to have a referral in by the time I finish the CBT, because I'd rather have something set up for longer term support. It's a 3-24 month programme, which may result in being referred for bariatric surgery.
My opinion on bariatric surgery
My opinion is written with respect to my own experience, so may differ from yours, but it might give you something to think about.
I believe that unless I address the disordered eating patterns, I am never going to be healthy. I may be in the healthy weight range, but I can only achieve nutritional health if I eat with some kind of balance. I don't believe bariatric surgery will help me because it doesn't actually address the cause of my disordered eating (my thoughts and behaviours).
Also, I feel bariatric surgery is not an easy option. There's risks involved in the surgery itself, long term nutritional risks and it does nothing to address head-hunger. My mum had a gastric band and is constantly vomiting, can't eat salad, but can eat stuff that's unhealthy like chocolate, she doesn't find social functions enjoyale now because she can't eat, her teeth are falling out (probably nutritional status is poor) and being unable to satisfy head hunger makes her miserable. She's a good, healthy weight, but she's far from healthy, mentally or physically.
I know you won't take the decision lightly, but I feel I need to say that you could do with speaking to people who've had this done. Maybe your doctor can put you in touch with somebody, or join some forums or facebook groups and ask them their thoughts. Make sure you speak to people who are a long time post-op, not just in the early "everything is hunky-dorey cos I'm losing weight" phase.
If you'd like to talk to me, you're welcome to message me any time.
Hugs, Lou x