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General feelings

T

TB99

Newbie
Messages
3
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Just wanted to write how I'm feeling as I've never had an outlet sort of thing, trying to talk to my friends and some family is almost impossible as they don't really understand what it's like sort of thing so that's why I'm here:D

So I've had diabetes since I was one now 17. Been on a Medtronic pump for 4 years now and have found it much easier than the injections because i can do a bolus in public much more discreetly rather than have people look at me like I'm taking a dose of heroin:D

Past few years have been the hardest. I've experienced long phases of almost pretending I don't have it and avoiding it, as well as feeling embarrassed about having it and being ashamed. Found myself the past couple of years constantly telling myself why me. Had a few seizures in this period as well and had to go to hospital just last year as I ran out of insulin and was away, so in my mind assumed I could last manage 16 hours without insulin as I was going to be home by then, with added confidence after looking up you can die at 24 so thought hey I can last. Turns out you can't. went to London hospital having collapsed at Victoria station with ketones of 7.6

However the past couple months has gone really well and I've found the motivation again to beat it rather than let it beat me. Would like to know is it easier if you are diagnosed before you can remember or at like 14? My last hba1c reading was 9.2 which I know is dreadful. Have my next check up on Valentine's Day and hope I can bring it back down to around 6 or 7.

Also went to Iceland in march and found that going through security was the most stressful experience ever. Apparently it seemed they never came across a diabetic before as they all panicked thinking I had drugs even though I had letters by the doctor. Every item was searched including me having to be searched to see if the needle from my pump didn't have cocaine or something stupid on it how do you find going through airports? Is it a lot more simple than this?

Anyway that's all I have to say really you'll probably read more things the size of a novel on here by me I do apologise for this excessive read.

Merry XMAS all
 
I've been diabetic and on insulin for 26 yrs I'm 57 now.
When i was told i was diabetic i just accepted it and basically just got on with it.

I was never discreet when it came to test my BG or injecting as this is what i needed to do to be healthy.

I'm on a pump now so it's much easier to give myself insulin but again i dont hide it, infact my pump and tubing is very visible at this moment in time at work.

Only one person has asked me what it is and if my diabetes comes up in conversation i show them the pump and also where my canular is.

I have a decent sense of humour and very often describe myself as a Borg ( Star Trek) pointing out my pipe work, glasses and hearing aid.

Regards and merry Christmas

Martin
 
Hey @TB99 thanks for sharing your story! I was diagnosed 6 years ago and for 5.5 of those I lived in denial. I've gone days without testing. Just injecting randomly if I felt high or eating when I felt low. I've also been away and not had my insulin for almost 12hours but thankfully I didn't have your awful experience. My last a1c was 8.9 so your not alone. I've just this year found some motivation to look after myself (mainly by managing my depression) but sometimes it feels like everything is against me. I just can't get my numbers lower. But this forum is great for support and information. I'm glad you shared your feelings as I feel less alone reading it so you've helped at least one person :) I've never shared your airport experience though that sounds scary! All the best with your journey and getting your numbers down for your next a1c
 
TB99 said:
However the past couple months has gone really well and I've found the motivation again to beat it rather than let it beat me. Would like to know is it easier if you are diagnosed before you can remember or at like 14?
Click to expand...

I'd imagine even people who were diagnosed as infants will remember their diagnosis.

From a personal perspective I think it gets easier the longer you have diabetes, I've lived with the condition for two-thirds of my life and went through all the acceptance & denial phases and it's only in the past 10 years that I've been truly content with living with the condition (as I know any amount of cursing or worrying won't change anything), it's better to accept what you have and try and live life to the full as we only get one shot at it.

Enough waffling, I'm really pleased that you've managed to turn things around @TB99 and the pumping is going well, sure once February comes your HbA1c will be much lower :)
 
Iceland is a fantastic place isn't it?

The airport security guys were just doing their job, I know it's not great to be the centre of their attention but it does happen sometimes, you could probably fly 8 times a year for the rest of your life and not go through that again - it was just one of those things!

I'm 46, been T1D for coming up 20yrs, can't say it's easy being diagnosed at any age really! Thing is to just get on with it, and that sounds as if that's what you are doing now. Diabetes can't stop you from doing anything you want.

And that old saying about learning from your mistakes? It's true don't you think? Bet you always make sure you have enough insulin now......!
 
Hi, I've had type 1 since I was 3 and I'm now 36. I remember having those thoughts about is it easier to get at 3 (like me) or at 8 (the one other girl I knew with it) at certain points in my life. The answer is it's not good whenever you get it. If you get it as a very young child it's always present and there. If you get it when you're a teen it disrupts your teenage years. If you get it as an adult you have to turn around your entire life to try and deal with it well. There's no good time. Thinking about it though is a sign that you're unhappy with having diabetes (not surprising!). I've found I go through periods in my life when those thoughts tend to be quite strong and a lot longer periods where they don't appear at all. They're usually triggered by a particular circumstance that makes me feel very bad about it. I remember one when I was 16 after my insulin vials exploded in the heat while I was on a group holiday abroad and I was terrified I'd be left without any insulin and die/have to go home and spent a lot of time writing my feelings out in a journal. That was the first time it had really really hit home how dependent I was on insulin (at that point type 1 was called insulin dependent but hey).

Regarding airports, I've only been on a pump for 18 months but in that time I've been through 4 airports and Eurostar twice. Not Iceland though. I haven't had any issues. In all my years with travelling with sharps I've only once had them examined after going through the xray and that was coincidentally the time I'd waited outside to take a package from a friend to his girlfriend that I was staying with. I still think I got checked for that. I've either been completely upfront about the pump before I go through or in one case didn't tell at all and didn't beep.

I'm sure you can get your hba1c down if you really try. I think most people rebel to a certain extent in their teens and then get it back on track. Good luck with doing it. If you've done it before you can do it again. Do you know how to carb count? Providing you can do that and have some understanding of how your insulin works you should be able to get at least a 7. If you want to finetune it further the libre is amazing and there's tonnes of helpful advice and people on here.

Good luck and it's always good to talk.
 
I was diagnosed at 18 months so being diabetic is just my reality! This means my childhood I was fine with my diabetes but then the why me anger came out in my teens when I was given charge of my own control so not sure if that made it any easier!

The only real downside to being diagnosed so early on is that my doctors often assume I've heard everything before so don't bother to give me new info (e.g. I was never given updates advice on where to inject from when I first learnt ages 7 which has lefte with ten years of injections worth of hyperatrophy...)

I've got my Hb1ac down from 9.6 to 6.9 at my last appointment through small and permanent changes - even though it has taken quite a while! My newish approach is to treat this like a life long project, keep learning and keep telling people about my diabetes, I don't want to keep it solely to myself so it's really lovely to be able to sit down with my boyfriend and complain about hypos from antibiotics or be really excited with him when I've bolused correctly for pizza!
 
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