Slimmers

[ExD]

My Non diabetic SonIL is very overweight and is currently doing very well with weight loss by counting calories not cutting his carbs. I have become very well versed in creating tasty low carb meals which include quite a lot of cream and cheese, but when they came to stay with us over Christmas I found things really difficult.
My sonIL seems to have a very 'sensitive' digestion and frequently resorts to gaviscon and the like so I am wary of feeding him our usual diet as he says too much fat gives him heartburn.
When they stayed this Christmas my daughter would watch me cooking and say 'oh he can;t have that' and 'all the saturated fat you eat is NOT helping your health problems' which I found less than helpful. I tried to adapt my way of cooking to be more like her's but the result was that I cooked the most awful bland meals all over the Christmas holiday.
In the end she resorted to cooking for herself and her husband.
We do eat a lot of fat in this house - what do you think?

 

[Chook]

I think that if someone is staying in someone else's home then they should eat what they are given and not complain unless, of course, they have a real medical condition and any special diet required by that medical condition should be discussed up front long before the visit.

Mostly when visiting other people I will take my meals with me because I don't expect them to change their diet just for me.

 

[Brunneria]

Perhaps his heartburn would disappear if he went grain free and low carb. Mine did.

I would not appreciate a guest in my house openly judging my food choices.
But i would be happy to discuss it with them.
At length.

 

[Chook]

@Brunneria - Same here. I used to virtually live on Gaviscon tablets. Reflux disappeared before the end of my first week of low carbing.

 

[ickihun]

Metformin gives me indigestion even on low carb. Although flour seems to have been the pulprit pre-metformin, for sure!

 

[Avocado Sevenfold]

@ExD I think your guests did the right thing in the end by cooking their own meals. It was your Christmas holiday too - a time for relaxing, not faffing about cooking different meals. I hope they helped with the washing up too!

 

[douglas99]

My Non diabetic SonIL is very overweight and is currently doing very well with weight loss by counting calories not cutting his carbs. I have become very well versed in creating tasty low carb meals which include quite a lot of cream and cheese, but when they came to stay with us over Christmas I found things really difficult.
My sonIL seems to have a very 'sensitive' digestion and frequently resorts to gaviscon and the like so I am wary of feeding him our usual diet as he says too much fat gives him heartburn.
When they stayed this Christmas my daughter would watch me cooking and say 'oh he can;t have that' and 'all the saturated fat you eat is NOT helping your health problems' which I found less than helpful. I tried to adapt my way of cooking to be more like her's but the result was that I cooked the most awful bland meals all over the Christmas holiday.
In the end she resorted to cooking for herself and her husband.
We do eat a lot of fat in this house - what do you think?

Yes.

I lost all my weight low calorie.
Low fat.
Fat gave me indigestion, and gaviscon was my choice as well.
I avoid saturated fat, as it doesn't help me.

Your daughter is standing up for his diet, which you admit is working well.
They're working as a good team, you need to respect it.
Your stance depends really on how much you want them to visit in the future.
If you insist there is only one way to eat, you may find you won't be feeding them again.

 

[AndBreathe]

Yes.

I lost all my weight low calorie.
Low fat.
Fat gave me indigestion, and gaviscon was my choice as well.
I avoid saturated fat, as it doesn't help me.

Your daughter is standing up for his diet, which you admit is working well.
They're working as a good team, you need to respect it.
Your stance depends really on how much you want them to visit in the future.
If you insist there is only one way to eat, you may find you won't be feeding them again.

It could just be that expectations on both side moderate a bit for how the feeding process will go.

 

[douglas99]

It could just be that expectations on both side moderate a bit for how the feeding process will go.

I can't say I actually understand that.

 

[AndBreathe]

I can't say I actually understand that.

Well, if it helps, I mean, MiL will not necessarily expect SiL to want to eat everything she/they prefer, and SIL will not expect to be catered for 100% by his MiL.

 

[douglas99]

Well, if it helps, I mean, MiL will not necessarily expect SiL to want to eat everything she/they prefer, and SIL will not expect to be catered for 100% by his MiL.

I would assume they were invited over for christmas?
And if I invited someone over, who I knew was on a weight loss diet, I wouldn't expect them to simply give it up because I wasn't on the diet of my guests.

Or, I'd tell them the set menu, and leave it to them as to whether they wanted to come or not.

It sounds all a bit last minute, if the food had to be changed on the fly, as it were.

 

[AndBreathe]

I would assume they were invited over for christmas?
And if I invited someone over, who I knew was on a weight loss diet, I wouldn't expect them to simply give it up because I wasn't on the diet of my guests.

Or, I'd tell them the set menu, and leave it to them as to whether they wanted to come or not.

It sounds all a bit last minute, if the food had to be changed on the fly, as it were.

No everyone operates in the same way as you might or I might, and who says we're right anyway.

Families are funny old things. We shouldn't judge other people's circumstances, just as we don't expect them to judge our way of being.

 

[douglas99]

To quote the op

'what do you think?'

I can't answer anything other than that.

 

[ickihun]

If I have a guest, I want them happy, relaxed and satisfied. However some guests are difficult customers. Nothing pleases them.
A gracious guest would accept hospitality as a one off unless nuts for a person who has nut allergy for example.
Common decency should prevail.

 

[Tophat1900]

Christmas is a family time, it's a time for loved ones and relations to get together and share in the joy of bickering like mad!

I think if you had a mix of both styles available on the table it might of worked out better to some degree.... but hey, add in relatives and mayhem will always find a way to irritate. You can only do your best and if that isn't good enough, well....

 

[bulkbiker]

How long did they stay for heavens sake? I avoid family as much as possible but when they come to me they mostly eat what I do. I may as a treat for hubby do some roast potatoes with a sunday roast but all the veg will be LCHF. My sister is a bit of a fat phobe however she and her partner both clear their plates and usually have seconds!

 

[ExD]

Interesting.
They stayed over Christmas and New Year and I often found myself almost cooking two meals in the evenings an the two almost 'opposing' methods clashed. In the end I was making bland boring meals from left over turkey and ham with plain boiled low carb veggies which were low carb and low fat - no butter or cheese or cream to add taste, oh and I got skimmed milk in especially for them. The puddings were.nt too bad as I did quite a lot with low sugar jellies with fruit or whisked egg whites, (oh and we did indulge in a very small Christmas pud - after all, life is for living).
I love having family here and wouldn't dream of imposing my diet on them, actually it was more a case of my daughter's horror when she saw the amount of cheese I was using (we love cauliflower mashed with feta). I was hoping for some suggestions as to how I can cook a single meal to suit the two different ways of life, apart from putting two dishes on the table eg one with plain boiled cauli and another with my cheesy cauli mash)

 

[Chook]

If in doubt I always cook a roast or steaks with a variety of vegetables and sauces or a variety of cold deli meats and different salads.

I haven't tried cauliflower mashed with feta - I 'll put that on my list of 'must trys'

 

[douglas99]

Interesting.
They stayed over Christmas and New Year and I often found myself almost cooking two meals in the evenings an the two almost 'opposing' methods clashed. In the end I was making bland boring meals from left over turkey and ham with plain boiled low carb veggies which were low carb and low fat - no butter or cheese or cream to add taste, oh and I got skimmed milk in especially for them. The puddings were.nt too bad as I did quite a lot with low sugar jellies with fruit or whisked egg whites, (oh and we did indulge in a very small Christmas pud - after all, life is for living).
I love having family here and wouldn't dream of imposing my diet on them, actually it was more a case of my daughter's horror when she saw the amount of cheese I was using (we love cauliflower mashed with feta). I was hoping for some suggestions as to how I can cook a single meal to suit the two different ways of life, apart from putting two dishes on the table eg one with plain boiled cauli and another with my cheesy cauli mash)

You can do that.
An assortment of veg they can eat, and the extra cheese you want as a pour over sauce.

Salad, lean turkey and chicken.
If you need salad dressing, make your own as a pour over for you.
Cut yourself up whatever fats you need, put cheese in your salad.
Pile it on your chicken and grill it over.
Melt butter over it.

You can always add fat to a meal when you serve.
I added spices to my low fat diet, hot chili and hot curry was a favourite.
Put that on the table if he likes it.

It's quite easy to make a basic meal, then season to taste for both diets.

 

[maglil55]

A normal Christmas for me is when I have to deal with 2 diabetics (1 being me) , 1 coeliac, 2 lactose intolerant , 1 fish eating vegetarian and 2 severe shellfish allergies, oh and a husband who's as fussy as it comes. I also have 2 siblings on chemotherapy where there are certain foods they are not allowed currently. Takes a whole lot of planning but it is doable.
Best buy ever was the buffet servers that let's me prep , cook and get all the veg in there to free up the cooker and oven for things that have to be done just before serving. Everyone apart from the vegetarian had gluten free chipolatas and pigs in blankets and they didn't know anything different. Same with the stuffing I made the day before. I also made a separate main for the Veggie as I wanted them to have a 'special' meal too. Fish , I went for Sea Bass as this avoids the shellfish problem. The thing all of them couldn't get enough of was the roasted , curried cauliflower. Sauces were separate and everything was as low carb as I could get it. Not sure how I would cope with many meals although I suspect I'd apply the same military type planning. Don't do cauliflower cheese - curried , roasted cauliflower is great. I also did cauliflower mash and had parmesan and about 2 oz of cream cheese in it and black pepper. Next variation will be to add mustard.
I'm always glad to get a rest again though.