Had two difficult appointments in as many weeks

[Maggie/Magpie]

Hi All,
Really sorry if this is wrong of me but needed to talk to someone. Saw my psyc today, not been coping too well, been having psychological therapy and its bringing up all sorts of past trauma's that I'm not coping too well with. Hence having flash backs again and shell we say unhelpful negative thoughts.
Don't want to give up on the therapy, as after 12 years I feel it's my only option now to be able to move forward, but struggling.
Psyc has increased my anti-psychotic to see if that helps. Going to talk to my Community nurse whom I haven't seen in four months and was going to discharge me last October/November. Psyc muttered again about having ECT which I refused. He's also removing my driving licence which was a bit of a shock as I've not driven in two years as my car died beyond repair and I can't afford another one, but I guess he's just being cautious given how I'm feeling.
Two weeks ago GP reduced my metformin by half as I've been having bowel problems but he didn't want to stop it all together as it can help weight loss. Not taking it for two weeks altogether didn't help improve things so GP has now refered me to surgeons as my Dad died from bowel cancer, don't think I have anything exciting as feel fine, but GP just being thorough, so trying not to worry about it. But I guess it's just adding to everything else.
More concerned about what's happening psychologically as that's more prominent and immenent as it were. Basically not coping with any of it at the moment and feeling like I'm going down hill rapidly.
Sorry this is such a long post but I needed to tell someone what was happening.
Thanks for listening

 

[Brunneria]

Hang in there.
Sounds like you have a hell of a lot going on at the moment, and then today's appointment on top... No wonder it feels like too much at the moment.

Please talk here as much as you need to.

And have a hug.

 

[Freema]

just a comment , send you my compassion it is a difficult condition to live with, I have tried therapy myself and have read a lot of what therapies seems to work... and the most promissing therapy seems to be the therapy focussing on revealing ones recourses and dreams and focussing on what gives energy and happiness in the individual...

It is not everyone that benefit from looking backwards and opening old trauma over and over again and again..
It seems some people even get worse from that kind of emotionally negative focussing.. I just think a lot of people have an almost religious non-critical idea of psycho-therapy as the holy grail towards mental health.. ..maybe you think I am wrong in mentioning this, but just want to have people understand that there are more options in theraphy-directions and to find the kind that suit them the best and gives real life-quallity

 

[Snapsy]

Oh @Maggie/Magpie sorry to hear about this - sending you a hug.

As @Brunneria says, you've had a lot going on - it sounds overwhelming.

Take care. We're here to listen/talk/hug!

 

[BrianTheElder]

Hi All,
Really sorry if this is wrong of me but needed to talk to someone. Saw my psyc today, not been coping too well, been having psychological therapy and its bringing up all sorts of past trauma's that I'm not coping too well with. Hence having flash backs again and shell we say unhelpful negative thoughts.
Don't want to give up on the therapy, as after 12 years I feel it's my only option now to be able to move forward, but struggling.
Psyc has increased my anti-psychotic to see if that helps. Going to talk to my Community nurse whom I haven't seen in four months and was going to discharge me last October/November. Psyc muttered again about having ECT which I refused. He's also removing my driving licence which was a bit of a shock as I've not driven in two years as my car died beyond repair and I can't afford another one, but I guess he's just being cautious given how I'm feeling.
Two weeks ago GP reduced my metformin by half as I've been having bowel problems but he didn't want to stop it all together as it can help weight loss. Not taking it for two weeks altogether didn't help improve things so GP has now refered me to surgeons as my Dad died from bowel cancer, don't think I have anything exciting as feel fine, but GP just being thorough, so trying not to worry about it. But I guess it's just adding to everything else.
More concerned about what's happening psychologically as that's more prominent and immenent as it were. Basically not coping with any of it at the moment and feeling like I'm going down hill rapidly.
Sorry this is such a long post but I needed to tell someone what was happening.
Thanks for listening

Hello @Maggie/Magpie I am sorry you're having a bad time. The problem is, once you get into a trough like this, it's difficult to see a way forward. I was in a similar situation once and had ECT treatment. I was also put in a strait jacket and sectioned. I don't think any of that helped really, only in that I came to realise that I was being my own worst enemy. In fact everything that was going on was inside my head and the only person that could do anything about that was myself.
I'm not saying pull yourself together, or that it's easy, but you must try to get on top of these negative thoughts, which I know you can do.
Good Luck, Brian

 

[ally1]

Sorry that things are bad for you at the moment.
I have tried therapy in the past for my ptsd and for my trauma but I found it didn't, t work for me. The only thing that worked for me is to have intensive regression treatment with a psycologist. It was hard work having to go trough what had happened to me but it did work.
Give the increase in meds a go and see how you go.
My anti psycotic was increase end of January, which I have found helpful

 

[zand]

So sorry to hear what you are going through. I haven't had a psych referral so I can't share my experiences there.

My own flashbacks started on their own when I noticed that 8 of my memories didn't seem to fit in to the rest of the jigsaw puzzle of my life. That was in around 2000 maybe? So for me this was a more natural, easier and milder process than for most people. I was able to examine any new memories as and when I felt up to it. It must be so much harder when you have them suddenly emerge after therapy because they would have been hidden more deeply and cause more of a shock.

I had counselling in 2015 and I was taught how to accept these flashbacks as memories but to keep them 'on a wall, behind a curtain' when I didn't need to see them. This helped me get on with daily life whilst dealing with old and new flashbacks. Notice the whole thing has been so slow in my case, and has taken 17 years so far to unfold. I think I am there now, but who knows? I am sure you will get 'there' much more quickly than I did.

I would refuse ECT therapy too. Have you tried emotional tapping therapy at all? It can help balance the dopamine and serotonin levels in the brain and whilst it's not exactly a psychiatric treatment anything that helps your mood may help you cope better with everything else. It's something my counsellor taught me, but I appreciate I haven't had the same experiences as you.

And please keep talking, you did the right thing in starting a thread here

Hugs from me too.

 

[Maggie/Magpie]

Thank you all so much for your hugs, thoughts, suggestions and support. I do appreciate it.