- Messages
- 90
- Type of diabetes
- Type 1
- Treatment type
- Insulin
Not sure where to start with this, but I have to get it off my chest.
Bit of background, I am type 1, diagnosed age 12, now age 36, so 24 years of diabetes so far. I had ok control during my teens, but I know things could have been better. Not 100% sure what triggered it but one day I just stopped testing my blood and attending appointments, so had absolutely no idea what was going on, absolutely winging it, but I felt ok, wasn’t having many hypos and wasn’t getting the awful acetone taste in my mouth, wasn’t getting horrendous thirsts so carried on. I was injecting for what I was eating, splitting doses for pizza etc but no corrections as I had no idea what my bloods were. I was also on one a day Levemir as I was never informed otherwise. This went on for far too many years, by too many years I am talking double figures.
This year I have had a few massive wake up calls and am pretty convinced all my chickens have come home to roost, my utter stupidity has finally caught up with me. First was my eye going wonky, it did turn out I don’t have retinopathy and I don’t have any diabetic damage (goodness knows how!), but the fear of it possibly being so made me take a long hard look at myself. I saw my GP in July, begged for a referral back to the RIE clinic, had my HBA1C checked (69 - she wasn’t too concerned by that, but I was!) I got a new meter, got test strips and decided to start taking care of myself, this resulted in me going from one extreme to the other, with me peaking at 30 tests in one day as I was so scared of going high or low. I realised this nonsense couldn’t continue and discovered that my local Asda sell Libres so decided to self-fund, however I am still just as obsessed, but it’s thankfully not as painful. It has been a real eye-opener though, Novorapid is taking forever to kick in (upwards of 45 minutes) and I discovered I get foot on the floor spectacularly - more to flipping deal with! I might also be allergic to the filament, which might be causing me to feel so grim, would be just my luck!
Anyway, the past couple of weeks it has just been one thing after another and I am just feeling completely overwhelmed and wiped out. I had what I thought was the stomach bug that was doing the rounds at my work, but two and a half weeks later I am still feeling awful (maybe slightly better than this time last week), despite seeing my GP twice and being sent to MAU at St Johns for bloods and monitoring for a few hours, all that was found was slightly raised white blood cells, but nothing I needed admitted for, so was sent home. My GP agrees I am fighting something, we just don’t know what. I have zero energy, zero interest in anything, no appetite and am having to force myself to eat (just glad I live with my Mum otherwise I doubt I would be eating at all), I have been fighting my blood sugars and apart from the odd wild high (no higher than 12 and it didn’t stay there for long) I have managed to keep my diabetes under control.
I haven’t been at work for about 2 weeks now and I am really missing it, but I am not in any fit state to go in, I tried last week and it ended with me being popped in a taxi and sent home. I am spending nearly all my time in bed, even having a shower is completely exhausting me and tonight I completely broke, watching SYTTD and I saw the Statue of Liberty and burst into floods of tears, actual uncontrollable sobs. I love NYC and was planning to go again this year, but I really don’t see that happening.
I am calling my GP first thing tomorrow as I am pretty certain I am depressed again on top of whatever it is I am fighting. I just want to get to the bottom of it and be my old self again, I miss her.
If you made it to the end of this please give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it.
Bit of background, I am type 1, diagnosed age 12, now age 36, so 24 years of diabetes so far. I had ok control during my teens, but I know things could have been better. Not 100% sure what triggered it but one day I just stopped testing my blood and attending appointments, so had absolutely no idea what was going on, absolutely winging it, but I felt ok, wasn’t having many hypos and wasn’t getting the awful acetone taste in my mouth, wasn’t getting horrendous thirsts so carried on. I was injecting for what I was eating, splitting doses for pizza etc but no corrections as I had no idea what my bloods were. I was also on one a day Levemir as I was never informed otherwise. This went on for far too many years, by too many years I am talking double figures.
This year I have had a few massive wake up calls and am pretty convinced all my chickens have come home to roost, my utter stupidity has finally caught up with me. First was my eye going wonky, it did turn out I don’t have retinopathy and I don’t have any diabetic damage (goodness knows how!), but the fear of it possibly being so made me take a long hard look at myself. I saw my GP in July, begged for a referral back to the RIE clinic, had my HBA1C checked (69 - she wasn’t too concerned by that, but I was!) I got a new meter, got test strips and decided to start taking care of myself, this resulted in me going from one extreme to the other, with me peaking at 30 tests in one day as I was so scared of going high or low. I realised this nonsense couldn’t continue and discovered that my local Asda sell Libres so decided to self-fund, however I am still just as obsessed, but it’s thankfully not as painful. It has been a real eye-opener though, Novorapid is taking forever to kick in (upwards of 45 minutes) and I discovered I get foot on the floor spectacularly - more to flipping deal with! I might also be allergic to the filament, which might be causing me to feel so grim, would be just my luck!
Anyway, the past couple of weeks it has just been one thing after another and I am just feeling completely overwhelmed and wiped out. I had what I thought was the stomach bug that was doing the rounds at my work, but two and a half weeks later I am still feeling awful (maybe slightly better than this time last week), despite seeing my GP twice and being sent to MAU at St Johns for bloods and monitoring for a few hours, all that was found was slightly raised white blood cells, but nothing I needed admitted for, so was sent home. My GP agrees I am fighting something, we just don’t know what. I have zero energy, zero interest in anything, no appetite and am having to force myself to eat (just glad I live with my Mum otherwise I doubt I would be eating at all), I have been fighting my blood sugars and apart from the odd wild high (no higher than 12 and it didn’t stay there for long) I have managed to keep my diabetes under control.
I haven’t been at work for about 2 weeks now and I am really missing it, but I am not in any fit state to go in, I tried last week and it ended with me being popped in a taxi and sent home. I am spending nearly all my time in bed, even having a shower is completely exhausting me and tonight I completely broke, watching SYTTD and I saw the Statue of Liberty and burst into floods of tears, actual uncontrollable sobs. I love NYC and was planning to go again this year, but I really don’t see that happening.
I am calling my GP first thing tomorrow as I am pretty certain I am depressed again on top of whatever it is I am fighting. I just want to get to the bottom of it and be my old self again, I miss her.
If you made it to the end of this please give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it.