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I feel like giving up... missing injections for weight loss

bumblebee95

bumblebee95

Well-Known Member
Messages
84
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Diabetes
Hello All
A little background: I am a 19 year old female student and have been Type 1 diabetic for 10 years. I have recently attended DAFNE and have learnt a lot! I am 5ft 3 and 56kg with weight accumulated around my waist- And have been abusing my diabetes for 5 years with missing injections to lose weight and get rid of my fat. However, I feel like I am beginning to experience minor signs of Diabetic neuropathy with a minor pain in my foot during the night when I am hyperglycemic. I have an obsession with my feet and any problem with them gives me severe anxiety- I have been crying many-a-time over it.

My family are unaware that I have been abusing my diabetes and I don't want to burden them or you guys for that matter.. But I am falling apart. The moment I eat something that makes me bloated and feel heavy I feel so guilty and miss my injections for the day. Its cycle I struggle to get myself out of but I really want to!! This is a weekly/twice-weekly occurrence as I live in a pakistani household with plentiful yummy meals. I am already a coeliac so the bloating can not be explained by this.

I am too nervous to go to a Dr or counsellor about this so it is an invalid option. I guess I just need some friends to give me motivation and advice, preferably every so often

I feel like such a burden on everyone, and the painful truth is that it is self-inflicted.. I give my self high blood glucose levels which make me feel sluggish and useless and sad which affects my family who support me when I am ill when I don't deserve it. and my feet.

I also want to know whether I can stop the neuropathy or whether the damage will remain. I guess what I mean is if I start controlling (- with help) now, then will I still be able to walk in the future or does it just get progressively worse from here? Also is it the same for retinopathy. I got 6/4 6/4 'with some diabetic changes'- will I get better?

I just feel like quitting.. But I guess what I really want is some HELP and motivation from the community.

I am really sorry for throwing this at you!

I will check back again tomorrow evening xxx
 
You say you're struggling to get out of this cycle, so I really recommend you seeing your GP, no matter how nervous you are about it. Do you have any university friends that could go with you? You don't have to let your family know either. I used to abuse my insulin too for different reasons, and it wasn't an easy habit to beat. Every so often afterwards I'd slip back without realising, so you might not be able to change overnight.

Is it the bloatedness you're worried about, or your weight in general? 56kg isn't bad at all at that height. :) Your weight would be far more manageable with controlled diabetes, and a healthy diet. I have no idea what Pakistani food is like, but do you like to cook yourself? Since leaving home and moving to university, I've found my diabetes much easier to handle, since I know exactly what I eat. Could be something to consider. Or perhaps asking your parents to prepare healthier options.
 
Hi there,
It's great that you've decided to reach out. I think everyone on this site can understand how hard it can get sometimes, and most have probably had days when they just wanted to give up. I can only tell you about my experience which was being diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy right after my diagnosis. I had to leave work early some days from the pain. Now however after getting my levels down and taking my supplements religiously I'm feeling pretty good, minimum pain no hobbling. Didn't take long to feel difference, too.

About the weight you want to lose, I think if you lose it by keeping your levels high you'll eventually feel too ****** health-wise to enjoy having lost the weight. The thought of a counselor can be daunting but it seems like it might really help, and they're accustomed to speaking to people who are nervous about talking so just give it a try. Nothing to lose, right? Rooting for you :)

PS: You're not burdening anyone it's what the forum's for sweets!
 
parrot soup said:
You say you're struggling to get out of this cycle, so I really recommend you seeing your GP, no matter how nervous you are about it. Do you have any university friends that could go with you? You don't have to let your family know either. I used to abuse my insulin too for different reasons, and it wasn't an easy habit to beat. Every so often afterwards I'd slip back without realising, so you might not be able to change overnight.

Is it the bloatedness you're worried about, or your weight in general? 56kg isn't bad at all at that height. :) Your weight would be far more manageable with controlled diabetes, and a healthy diet. I have no idea what Pakistani food is like, but do you like to cook yourself? Since leaving home and moving to university, I've found my diabetes much easier to handle, since I know exactly what I eat. Could be something to consider. Or perhaps asking your parents to prepare healthier options.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your advice. I will try to pluck up the courage and speak to the GP and will take up on the healthy cooking advice. I need to get my priorities right :p
Thanks again
 
SarahEldib said:
Hi there,
It's great that you've decided to reach out. I think everyone on this site can understand how hard it can get sometimes, and most have probably had days when they just wanted to give up. I can only tell you about my experience which was being diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy right after my diagnosis. I had to leave work early some days from the pain. Now however after getting my levels down and taking my supplements religiously I'm feeling pretty good, minimum pain no hobbling. Didn't take long to feel difference, too.

About the weight you want to lose, I think if you lose it by keeping your levels high you'll eventually feel too ****** health-wise to enjoy having lost the weight. The thought of a counselor can be daunting but it seems like it might really help, and they're accustomed to speaking to people who are nervous about talking so just give it a try. Nothing to lose, right? Rooting for you :)

PS: You're not burdening anyone it's what the forum's for sweets!
Click to expand...
Thank you! I will have a word with my Dr about conselling when I see him in september. Hopefully sticking to it... What supplements are these?
 
for the nerves: alpha lipoic acid, vitamin B tablets, and vitamin B shots twice a week.

for immunity: omega 3 fish oil supplements, vitamin D

keep us posted :)
 
You can ring the care line without giving your name
http://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/Teens/help-and-support/we-can-help/careline/

If your diet is high carb like the dietitian a say, that could be your problem
Have you heard about lchf diet that a lot use here, there is no need to miss injections and make yourself sick to lose weight
http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf

Now carbs don't give up without a fight
http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/lowcarbliving/a/Food-Cravings.htm
Carb counting and dosing refresher stuff
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/newly-diagnosed.60873/#post-583801
 
bumblebee95 said:
Hello All

I also want to know whether I can stop the neuropathy or whether the damage will remain. I guess what I mean is if I start controlling (- with help) now, then will I still be able to walk in the future or does it just get progressively worse from here? Also is it the same for retinopathy. I got 6/4 6/4 'with some diabetic changes'- will I get better?

I just feel like quitting.. But I guess what I really want is some HELP and motivation from the community.

I am really sorry for throwing this at you!

I will check back again tomorrow evening xxx
Click to expand...

The good news is if you can somehow force yourself to take the correct amount of insulin and keep your levels stable, the nerve damage will try to repair itself, and won't get any worse. It's so important not just for nerves but for your circulation, as high blood sugars causes the arteries to become furred up reducing circulation and can lead to pretty serious results particularly in your feet.

When you're feeling bloated is it because of the size of portion you're eating or is it the type of food you're eating? In which case as someone else said it could be a food intolerance causing temporary bloat.

If you feel you are putting on weight you don't want, is it possible for you to burn it off with more exercise. That would be the safest way rather than not taking your insulin and instead of feeling ill with high blood sugars, the exercise would boost your mood and health as your body produces happy hormones called endorphins.

Just a thought. Sorry I haven't any more ideas but hope you get things sorted , and feel better about things soon.
 
There is a charity and a facebook page run by people who have themselves suffered from diabulimia They can offer some support although as it is a small charity they don't have the resources to provide as much help as they would like.
http://www.dwed.org.uk/
I know that quite often people suffer bloating if they start injecting and eating again. This is because when you stop injecting and your blood glucose rises then the body makes use of it's own fat because it thinks that it is starving. You also lose a lot of water and become very dehydrated.
Getting back to 'normal' means a return of the water but it takes time for the body to get everything back into balance and there can be more water than normal so causing a bloated feeling/look. This is temporary .
Here is a forum/blog post in which a number of young women explain how they felt and that it does go away.
http://www.wearediabetes.org/forum/thread.php?tid=37
 
bumblebee95 said:
Thank you for your advice. I will try to pluck up the courage and speak to the GP and will take up on the healthy cooking advice. I need to get my priorities right :p
Thanks again
Click to expand...

Some great links by Phoenix for you to look at. I do agree that you should see your gp or ask for a referral over to the hospital diabetes clinic if your not already under their care, there you can discuss your concerns and hopefully they will help you get back on track with your diabetes, sometimes in life we do need some professional input and this is especially so with health related matters.
 
Thank you all for your input... All of your advice has been very comforting to read. I do care about my health so I must take a stand against my demons and put my health first. I get that now :D and the bloating may well be food intolerances so I reckon I should try an elimination diet
 
Hi bumblebee

Please don't despair about your situation. It is a relatively common situation in young female diabetics and there is help out there. I spent years living with eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia, along with cutting out my insulin injections. It is sadly an easy thing to slip into and a difficult thing to get out of.

It's great that you are well aware of what you are doing and the problems and complications that come with skipping insulin. Talking about it on here is a really good step. From my experience I couldn't have solved my problems without professional medical help. Just explaining to a doctor or DSN that you are skipping insulin injections and why you are doing it due to feeling bloated/weight concerns will be a huge relief to you. Diabetes teams have heard and seen problems like this before and can help you once they are aware. I saw a brilliant dietician at an eating disorders clinic who worked with my diabetes team and she got me to start eating small amount of carbohydrates for meals to avoid feeling full and bloated. Little by little it started to work, I have kept on eating in this way ever since.

Like all the others have said please ask for some help, diabetes is a full time, life long condition and we can't do it all on our own. Good luck getting back on track.
 
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