Hi, my name is Gary and I'm so sorry to hear about the problems u've been having with your control. I've been a diabetic for the last 36yrs and consider myself reasonably well controlled. I have been doing a trial with a continuous blood sugar monitor for the last couple of months and even after all these years, I'm flabbergasted at the way my body reacts to different types of food, exercise and consuming what I would regard as negligible things. What you must try and understand is that one day is not the same as the next and what you must strive for is a reasonable happy medium.
A good example of how negligible things can affect me is for an example, me consuming one or two cups of coffee when I get up in the morning which will raise my sugars quite considerably as it raises my metabolism which triggers my liver to produce sugar and so I have to inject just for my morning fix
It is essential you try to ascertain the correct basal dosage required by your body. I take 22 units of Lantus at around 22:30. This only works for approx. 20hrs tops so rather than splitting my dosage, I just increase my bolus a little to compensate for the lack of background insulin when eating from about 17:00. When figuring out your night time dose, it is important to test once or twice during the early morning to monitor if you are rising or falling. After a little while of adjusting the dosage by small amounts you should be able to find that happy medium.
Once this is done the day to day control can start. From experience I can tell you that it is very rare that my sugars do not spike after eating, but what is important is the time it takes to come back down. I understand how easy it is to overcompensate, as I am as guilty as everyone else, but it does pay to be a little patient as I have discovered when using my new monitor.
I am also a big advocate in regular BG checks, in my book there is no such thing in too many tests. Just remember that anything you do or even eat, has some effect on you're blood sugars be it large or small and I will inject however many times I need to in order to keep as good as I can. It might sound a little like fire fighting, but it works for me and I eat basically anything I want to within reason.
I hope this gives a little insight to the way I live and control myself and am not in any way suggesting you should try this unless you are happy to so good luck with finding a way that suits you.