Work colleagues

[louch1]

So sorry but I need to vent my upset .
On Friday I found out that somebody who I work with was celebrating their birthday . This had been kept from me. Then on top of it they had organised a fish and chip lunch . Yes, this had been also kept from me. Everyone else had been invited. I felt horrible I never had a chance to even get her a card or gift . I was so upset. Then the attitude is well you can still join us for lunch.
Some people have no understanding of how being a diabetic changes your diet and your life style .If I had know about the meal I could have made alterations with my diet and meds etc. So you can imagine my response .
And yes I do chat with them and they are aware of me being a diabetic. I am so upset by it all .

 

[Shar67]

Even though they may not be aware, your work colleagues have, bullied and discriminated you, they have treated you differently due to your illness. As I see there are 3 ways to deal with it
1 Ignore it and carrying on, tell them you would like to be kept in the loop in future
2 If you can, email everyone, stating how they have made you feel and how you can be included, how you manage eating and meds
3 Make a formal complaint to your managers or HR, stating you felt bullied and discriminated against, and need support from them.
Personally 2 is the way I'd go. Have send a hug, there is always someone here to talk to

 

[Daibell]

HI. This is difficult but are you sure you were left out due to your diabetes? I've never heard of anything similar before. Personally I don't think you have a case to take to your management as such but I would try to corner one of the 'friendliest' of this bunch and try to find out more about what went on that led to your exclusion.

 

[copepod]

Had you ever said anything aboutnot being able to eat fish and chips now you have diabetes? Is it possible tht work colleagues wanted to et fish and chips and decided not to tell you, becuae you'd said you couldnt eat fish and chips? It's a shame you've been left out, but you need to find out birthday etiquetter in your office. If you're new, perhaps there is an ongoing birthday fund. In about 2007, I worked somewhere where everyone paid, I think £2 per week for tea, coffee and milk supplies, which left enough extra to buy cakes on Friday nearest to anyone's birthday.

 

[Salvia]

I agree with @Daibell, that it may not be related to your diabetes. From what you say, there seems to have been some conversation between you and them at the time, because of the comment "well you can still join us for lunch" which doesn't sound as if they were thinking of your diabetes. It could be that people just genuinely forgot to tell you, and then felt a bit embarrassed about it. Then, of course, people get defensive, and start to justify themselves/what happened/anything else you can think of.

 

[AndBreathe]

I'm rather with Diabell on this one. Could it not have been an innocent oversight when, say, someone sent out an email, reminding folks it was to be X person's birthday, and suggesting an F&C lunch at the same time?

If it's a decent sized office, and the person hadn't used an "all staff" email distribution list (due to the birthday person being included), perhaps a lack of response from you hadn't been noticed.

I'm some ways, I can identify with the other side of this, in that some time ago, in a role where I had no PA for a while, I invited my direct reports to a meeting, in a specific location (they were based in several places), but on the day one guy didn't turn up. Having waited a short while for him to turn up, I called him asking why he hadn't attended (as he hadn't called in sick). He knew nothing about it. Instead of chastising him, I had to make a grovelling apology and explain myself to the others too. I was mortified.

Could it be something like that?

 

[Oldvatr]

Had you ever said anything aboutnot being able to eat fish and chips now you have diabetes? Is it possible tht work colleagues wanted to et fish and chips and decided not to tell you, becuae you'd said you couldnt eat fish and chips? It's a shame you've been left out, but you need to find out birthday etiquetter in your office. If you're new, perhaps there is an ongoing birthday fund. In about 2007, I worked somewhere where everyone paid, I think £2 per week for tea, coffee and milk supplies, which left enough extra to buy cakes on Friday nearest to anyone's birthday.

Ditto.

 

[louch1]

Hi . Thank you all for your amazing comments.
It has made me think a lot about both sides.
We always talk about different things including my diet so they are aware that I can still eat "normal " foods but I just need to adjust things.
I have just decided to get on with things. Keep my head down and to myself. Two people at work know I was upset by it all and it was just great to vent things. Thank you all.