Diabetes snobbery

[Gazzamius1]

Type 2 Diabetic for around 15 years here. still a fat b*****d ....... drink like a fish probably still eat all the wrong stuff. around 250 units of humalog 50 per day. couldn't give a monkeys what anyone tries to tell me about my so called self inflicted condition. they all get the same shrill reply. "No one asked you... mind your own effing business and clear orf" I've been clumped a few times. but then so has the mouth that piped up. each to their own i suppose. have a nice one peeps.

Post edited for language by moderator

 

[fatbabbyharry]

Hi

I want to vent my spleen so to speak and ask how many others have experienced Diabetes snobbery.

I know not everyone is like this, but last night, with friends - in of all places a pub, while subject of my diabetes come up, as I was drinking a very nice single malt (rare for me to drink anyway).

When one of the groups invited friend piped up that that my Type 2 was self induced, and T2's have only themselves to blame, where her type 1 was worse than Type 2's and proceeded to regale us with her history and ailments.

Now I have no interest in point scoring, so kept quiet, excused myself earlier than I normally would, and went home, where I stewed on the fact that there is some gulf that; either there needs some bridging between the types so each understands the other, or I just found the one person who has to feel superior in my area.

As I was only diagnosed in February 2018, I found the experience somewhat amusing, but perplexing, which has me wondering is this something that will rear its ugly head often

This is the only time that I ever talk about my diabetes unless specifically asked a question. I think that here in the UK those of us with T1D have enough information given to us and medications available to be allowed to play an active role in controlling our condition. I actually feel for those with T2! The condition has traditionally been overlooked by local health teams (annual check up/in with diabetes nurse?) And access to diabetes control? A lot of PCT's still routinely deny even a meter and strips for T2's! So how on earth are they expected to take diabetes seriously when it is trivialised from the offset? Anyway s*** happens folks. Keep taking the tablets as somebody must have sajd at some point.

 

[Arab Horse]

Ignorant people are a pain. I am a skinny T2 and, yes, I brought it on myself unknowingly. I ate the wrong things as I rarely had time to cook (and don't like it anyway), I had a stressful job and I often had less that 4 hours sleep a night due to having 105 mile round trip to work, working long hours and getting up early to do the horses and walk the dog.

My "lovely" sister said to me when we out for lunch soon after I was diagnosed and was struggling to find something on the menu I could eat "I don't know why you make such a fuss all the time. I know loads of people with diabetes and none of them make the fuss you do. Why don't you just eat what you want and die sooner". A real charmer!!!

 

[Sue192]

I have a little insight into the social stigma of T2, I think. I’ve been curvy, then fat, then obese, then fat (working towards curvy again) my entire adult life, up to a UK size 28 at one point. I would tell people I had diabetes only if I had to, and I would get the “you brought it on yourself” tirade. Eat less! Move more! Low fat!

I vividly remember looking for a birthday cake in Asda for my then three year old son, and two men behind me started making siren alarm noises and shouting “WOOOT WOOOT LARD*RSE ALERT!!! STEP AWAY FROM THE CAKE! I REPEAT, STEP AWAY FROM THE CAKE!!” As you can imagine, I was mortified. That didn’t drive me to lose weight, I just went home and comfort ate chips, ending up with a DKA because I didn’t want to take insulin and nearly dying. I ended up with a lovely case of diabulimia. I hate to think what long term damage I’ve done.

People assume all T1s are skinny and all T2s are fat, and that’s so not the case. Nobody knows the battles another person fights every day. So yes, I think I have some understanding of how you guys feel.

This post makes me want to weep and kick something hard at the same time. It ties in with @MikeTurin's sad news article about the 15 year old who may have committed suicide because "I'm too fat". That would have been my reaction, too @Mel dCP, to go home and comfort eat. For others it might have been the last straw of many years of straws adding to the misery. Years ago - must be at least 28 - I was walking along the pavement when an idiot rode past me on his bike, yelling out '"fatty fatty there's a fatty on the loose". I was probably a couple of stones' overweight. I still vividly remember it and the hurt it caused. Had I not been with wonderful supportive friends, it might have been got to me more than it did.

'Nobody knows the battles another person fights every day.' And that is the very heart of this discussion (and of the Judgemental Person thread). Some feel they can tell their battles to others, either in person or on a forum such as this; others keep everything to themselves and might, on the surface, appear to be healthy, fine, happy or whatever front they wish to show, yet that may be very far from the truth. We cannot, from the 'wrapper', see what is hidden behind.

 

[lucylocket61]

I think I have related the incident recently in Tescos car park where some youths circled me and called out 'fattie, fatties' and make comments about the biscuits in my trolley?

And the elderly gentlemen who took me to task for being a drain on the NHS when people who were really ill couldnt get operations?

its a thing, its real, and this government and media are giving it legitimacy and encouraging this fatism.

 

[AdamJames]

This post makes me want to weep and kick something hard at the same time. It ties in with @MikeTurin's sad news article about the 15 year old who may have committed suicide because "I'm too fat". That would have been my reaction, too @Mel dCP, to go home and comfort eat. For others it might have been the last straw of many years of straws adding to the misery. Years ago - must be at least 28 - I was walking along the pavement when an idiot rode past me on his bike, yelling out '"fatty fatty there's a fatty on the loose". I was probably a couple of stones' overweight. I still vividly remember it and the hurt it caused. Had I not been with wonderful supportive friends, it might have been got to me more than it did.

In a thread which has already compared T2 with T1, I don't want to add another uselessly divisive subject into the mix, but I have to say that fat-shaming bothers me a hell of a lot more when it's done to women.

It's bang out of order when it's done to anyone, but I've always been able to cope quite easily when people have referred to my weight in any way, including insults. Insults don't make me go home and cry and want to kill myself. But I don't think I'm being old fashioned or sexist to say that it's worse when it's done to a woman. Society shouldn't be any more concerned with the way women look than the way men look, but you do see that pressure everywhere, in adverts, in tv, in films etc.

I think that's slowly changing and men in the media are expected to look prettier and more athletic than they used to, but there is no parity by a long stretch. It's not at all surprising that it's almost always women who end up the most damaged as a result of being fat-shamed. It does bother me a lot more. I wanted to give you a 'hug' for the bit I quoted anyway. I gave you a 'winner' for the bit after that, so consider this a 'hug' for the first bit

 

[Antje77]

I brought it on myself unknowingly. I ate the wrong things as I rarely had time to cook (and don't like it anyway), I had a stressful job and I often had less that 4 hours sleep a night due to having 105 mile round trip to work, working long hours and getting up early to do the horses and walk the dog.

Sounds like a pretty normal life for many people without diabetes to me. Nicely active too. I don't see how you've brought diabetes on yourself really.

 

[Lizzie2]

I think that's the biggest cause of situations like the one @Mick1959 found himself in, and I really don't know how that is going to change. For instance, catching up on a Wallander episode the other night: Wallander: 'I have diabetes'. Female character: 'but you're not fat!' Made me uncharacteristically angry.

Know what you mean. A diabetic friend (T1) is the tiniest person I know. I think I’d probably been pre diabetic for a long time before I was given steroids for arthritis and then developed steroid induced T2.

What I found hard was that I know several people who are taking steroids, much larger doses than I was taking and for much longer periods of time. I also have a couple of friends who were much larger than I was, got no exercise either and I was fit and walked miles, cycled and went to yoga and the gym etc. yet none of them had T2. Why me?

So I’m afraid I kind of felt - and I know it was mean to think that way ‘why am I T2 when they’re massively overweight, stuff themselves with cakes and sweets etc and do no exercise?’ or to a lesser extent ‘Why are they ok whenthey take large doses of steroids etc’. Life is just weird at times.

 

[Arab Horse]

Sounds like a pretty normal life for many people without diabetes to me. Nicely active too. I don't see how you've brought diabetes on yourself really.

Thank you @Antje77 for your kind words. T was VERY active, worked in a lab so on my feet most of the day rushing around and often didn't have time to have a break all day and you can't eat or drink in a lab.

When I was diong a part time job for the council and had to go to peoples' homes to chase them up for filling in their forms I went to a house and there was a women there (probably in her early 40s) who couldn't leave the house as she was so fat. I found it very sad as she had no life; I stayed a while and we chatted; she was pre diabetic but said she couldn't go to the DESMOND evening as she was too big for the chairs. She had a husband and daughter at home (but both out at work all day) and I felt so sorry for her as her weight was robbing her of her life. She was a good 20 miles from me so not someone I could "pop in and see". I gave her my email address and asked her keep in touch as she seemed to have no help with her weight problem and knew it was a problem and wanted help but she never got back to me. I wish I had taken her email (I couldn't keep her details as that would breach the rules of my contract) but when I see very fat people I do think of her and hope she got some help. Blame an insults only make matters worse. I know when my sister is particularly rude to me I do come home and often have chocolate.

Don't tell me not to see her (I keep telling myself that) as I am the only one left in the family who sees her; even her own children don't as she was a rotten mother, and I worry that if I turned my back as well she could die alone.

 

[davidjb]

:
Don't you sympathise with us fatties? We have T2 just like you but have to put up with rude remarks. You are lucky that you aren't fat, that's all. I reckon I had insulin resistance making me ever fatter for about 20 years before diagnosis. You don't feel sorry for me not being able to wear nice clothes? You don't feel sorry for me when a waitress accused me of ordering 2 meals for myself because my son was playing on a fruit machine in the pub when the meals arrived? I brought this on myself because I am fat?

Edit I realise you are a newbie, so maybe I was a bit harsh, but you need to understand that I have tried to look after myself, tried to lose weight, in fact I have probably lived very much as you have. I just happen to be fat and you aren't.

Sorry you feel offended by my comment zand, but nowhere did I say that I have no sympathy with 'fatties' (by the way, I would NEVER use that term). My gripe, as I said, is with ignorant people assuming that if you have any type of diabetes it must be because you are (or have been) seriously overweight. I forgive your harshness and put it down to paranoia and self-pity. Sorry if that seems harsh but that is how your comment came across.

 

[briped]

So yes, I think I have some understanding of how you guys feel.

I won't even quote what those guys in Asda said, it's too heartbreaking to repeat. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've had similar things happen to me, so nowadays I always have Eminem blasting away at my ear drums whenever I'm out, probably leaving a few people feeling stupid and embarassed when they don't get a reaction from me. They'd have to touch me to get my attention, and I doubt they'd touch a fattie

 

[JohnEGreen]

We must love one another. We are a tribe of different colors and shapes and challenges, bless us all!.

Absolutely agree 100%. You should make that your signature.

Edit to change stupid emoji

As that famous American president said I am a doughnut

or to put it in his own words "ich bin ein berliner"