I used to get that uncontrolable rush to eat something while preparing the food. It was odd because i never ate much. I always skipped breakfasts and often my first meal would be late in the afternoon/evening. Even when i went to school. It would be like this always when i had to leave home i could never eat. My mind would be focused on ten diferent things, except eating.
I remember when I was about 19, 3 months after i came to UK I was feeling very similar as I felt when i got diagnosed. I would get up from bed in the morning feeling like my legs were two pieces of wood, i would get that stinging feeling in legs a lot during the night. I became slow, just like having high blood sugar now.I didn't know what it was but I ignored it and after a month or two it dissapeared. I was well again for next couple of years.
I never ate well. My dinner usually would be a pizza or crisps or sandwich. I would make something for myself sometimes but not often. I smoked a lot. I smoked since i was 13. And so at the age of 21 i decided give up smoking and healthy eating followed after.
I would make lunch every day after work. And it would include vegetables, meat or fish, fruits. But then i started eating more sweets. I could have a whole chocolate, i loved white chocolate, 'green and black's' one. I would have one a day. I started eating much more than usuall and felt great.I was still feeling good, just sometimes like having a hypo. I didn't manage to give up smoking, but still tried. And after 6 months i started feeling really bad. I would drink 3 littres of juice every day for 2 weeks till i could no longer see it in my eyes, then i drank milk, sometimes i would feel urge to drink milk, then i started drink lemonades, even alcohol ones (i never liked drinks with alcohol in it), then i drink tea. I made two cups of tea every time and as soon i finished one i would make one more(to give it a time to cool). Then i decided drink good old water. But by then i could not manage to go up the 10 step staircase without stopping. I went to doctor and after two long complicated months i was diagnosed with type 1.
Nobody in my family has diabetes. I am the first one.
I was 52 kg before i was diagnosed and now, after a year i am 62 kg. That's how much my Mom weighed when she was 40. I never cared about food as much as I do now, it's like I got obsessed with it. I am thinking about my next meal when i am having one. And now i can eat anything, when I think before i became diabetic I would be very picky about what I eat. I like EVERYTHING now. It makes me scared.
Not long ago I was talking with a coleague, who said she has always in her fridge 3 things: eggs, milk and sausages. She loves it and so she eat it every time she's hungry. She said she never bought bread in her life and i thought 'when i was child-teenager i hated bread, why do i like it now?' I keep so many things in my fridge i never imagined I would ever eat.The way my colleague eat was my own way of eating when I was healthy, when my appettite was healthy, a long ago before i was diagnosed and even started to feel first signs I had no clue they were signs of illness.
It's true the first time you go on diet you will never be able to stop and go back. I went on a healthy diet, which brought me illness.
What i think now is: it does not matter you eat healthy or unhealthy, a lot or a little all you need to do is to keep it up and stay with it. Big changes in diet brings big shock to your body. But i thought many different things before and probably after a month i will come up with a different diagnosis, just like all of us, everything keeps changing except this one thing that will stay with us for our lifes. Enough to think about it, it's too late anyway.
Goodnite
