Being Bullied by my Diabetes and my boss!

[Robbieowen55]

Hi all,

I am a fairly newly diagnosed Type 1 fairly new being July last year diagnosed I am 30 years old a Business Analyst for a top mobile communications firm and a father of a 2 year old. So I keep myself busy.

In the beginning I was coping fairly well my bloods were a consistent 4-8mmol and I thought this would be a breeze I had to take some time off work in the beginning and work seemed fairly happy with the T1 situation.

However....... Over the last 3 months things have been really getting on top of me my moods have drastically changed and my bloods have become harder to control I crash really quickly and have started to have frequent hypos.

I have been feeling really depressed about the whole situation and always feel totally rotten I have been a bit suicidal in all honesty.

Boss in work has really been getting on my case about my Diabetes not giving me decent breaks and being really ratty with me about having hypos in work I dont think he understands that Diabetes is about more than just bloods I have had to quote DDA and feel I am going to end up burning bridges in work but what else can I do if they wont support a shift change for me I feel totally rotten all the time!

To top it all off i have had to go sick the past two days and have started to be put under pressure about returning however the Doctor has signed me off with "Physcological problems in relation to T1 Diabetes" and is going to put me on some anti depressants"

Please tell me there is others out there dealing with A the mood swings and depression B a totally non understanding boss in work!

I feel so down and rotten all the time I dont want it to affect my marriage!

Please Help! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

 

[Tracey69]

HI and welcome
I am a type 1 and am suffed with depression, I am on anti depressants as well. They have just changed mine and i am suffering side with withdrawl.
I'm glad you have spoken to your doctor, it sounds as though you are really suffering. As you know diabeteics can suffer from depression.
LIke yourself i have no energy, mood is low, and i can be tearful.
The only thing is i don't work, but i put a lot of pressure on myself to feel normal LOL, i don't like to depend on others or keep telling them i don't feel 100%, but sometimes we need help, it may be worth referring yourself to see a counsellor and talk things through.
Sometimes it's better to talk to someone outside the family.
Depression is not a nice tsituation to be in, but i'm sure your wife will support you.
If you would like to keep in touch please do.
Hope you feel a little better soon, just remember anti depressants can take time to work.
Hope all goes well, it will get easier.
Let me know how you get on
Take care
TRacey

 

[Robbieowen55]

Thanks Tracey

I am definitely at rock bottom at the moment and work are putting pressure on me to return however how can I when this treatment is going to take time!

I keep rushing back and for what so that I can be pressured into returning to soon???

no chance need to get myself sorted once and for all!

Cheers again

 

[Tracey69]

HI
It's easy for me to say but sod work your health is more important.
Only your doctor will tell you when your ready to go back or that you tell them you are feeling better, depression just doesn't disappear over night.
Your boss obviously hasn't had any body with depression, Let them get on with it
Don't return until your ready going back to early may cause more problems for yourself.
You need to be well first.
Take care
Tracey

 

[velcrohead]

It might be worth pointing out to your boss that having you back at work while signed off would be illegal, you would not be insured for a start. Although from what you say it sounds like they are a butthole anyway.
Even if you decided to go back to work, you would have to get signed back on again.
I have been through depression and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the underlying problems need to be sorted first.

 

[lovinglife]

So sorry you're having such an awful time - I can't really help with your problem as I have no experience of what you are going through but thought this number mught be useful to you (if you haven't already got it )

Disability Law Service 0207 791 9800- they give free legal advice on anything to do with disability- I used them for something for my son (not diabetes connected) - they were quite good maybe they can help you with the legal stuff

 

[iHs]

Hello Robbie

While you are not working, try to get your bg levels better balanced so that you dont keep having the hypos.

Usually hypos happen because of too much insulin. If you start to test yourself 6 times a day including mid morning and mid afternoon you can start to spot when your levels start to change. Ideally if you dont want to eat a snack you need to have your bg levels somewhere between 8-10mmol mid morning and mid afternoon. If your bg levels are lower than that, then because bolus insulin will still be active, you should really eat a small snack depending on how low your bg has gone otherwise you will find yourself going hypo before lunch and the same applies mid afternoon.

Has your consultant or dsn talked to you about using a carb ratio to calculate your insulin. If not make an appt to see a dsn about this.

 

[hanadr]

Robbie
try reading *Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes Solution*. You will find some answers and it is written by a lifelong T1 who has had to come to terms with his situation. Also I suggest you check with Diabetes UK [the charity NOT the forum] on what your employment rights are.
DUK are very good at that, even if their dietary advice is worse than useless.
Hana

 

[Dillinger]

Hello,

I think you need to do at least two things; you need to escalate this to your appropriate HR person and you need to ask them how to proceed. If this were me (I'm a Type 1 relatively newly working in telecoms too) I would also speak with my boss's boss. This sort of treatment at work is not acceptable.

Secondly, you need to get a handle on your diabetes - I agree with Hana about the Bernstein book. It is very possible to have a very full and active life and career as a Type 1. There is a good post that newly diagnosed diabetics get given which sets out pretty clearly the way to go on approaching this. I would also have a look at getting some blood tests done for things like vitamin deficiency (vitamin D and B12) and thyroid function in particular; your current state of mind may be related to those types of things. There are certainly people on here who have described what sounds like debilitating depression being actually symptoms of deficiencies - have a read in this forum.

Lastly, you now suffer from a chronic condition which has the potential to be very serious and needs constant attention; it is no wonder that you are depressed and shell-shocked. It won't necessarily be like that but you need to get to grips with it; I think you are still in shock at what has happened.

As to your current feelings; here is something rather wonderful written by Stephen Fry on depression

http://www.lettersofnote.com/search/label/stephenfry

I hope you soon begin to feel better

Best

Dillinger

 

[SAH154]

Yes fully agree get yourself better 1st - employers can be stupid about diabetes I know a T1 who had laser eye surgery and took 3 days off as his vision was blurred for 3 days and they sacked him - he'd been there less than a year (2years soon as teh Gov are to change the Tribunal rules shortly IIRC) only time he'd taken off whilst working for them

 

[sarahstirling]

I too was diagnosed with type 1 last July aged 26.

I had a difficult time when I returned to work with people not understanding things.

IE being told by others that I was being obsessive with my monitoring because I was checking my blood before all meals and before driving.

Also following 1 hypo at work I was asked if I wanted to go back off sick while I stabilised (not understandinig that hypos will happen forever).

As for mood I go up and down every week. Sometimes I feel really low about having to test, inject, be more cautious when doing exercise. Also been told I have the most Marked honeymoon period that my diabetes nurses have ever seen so can't seem to get to a point where I fully know what is happening with my blood. But then I look back at how bad a felt for at least 6 months before diagnosis and realise that I never want to go back to that again so insulin becomes my new best friend.

Work will be hard for you because nothing about type 1 is understood and you will always be compared to type 2's that people know, so your colleagues won't get the extras that go along with type 1.

 

[SAH154]

Work will be hard for you because nothing about type 1 is understood and you will always be compared to type 2's that people know, so your colleagues won't get the extras that go along with type 1.

Ain't that the case!

It's like people thinking a bar of chocolate will help with a hypo as a mid term carb option like a biscuit fair enough

 

[Debloubed]

Hi there, so sorry to hear about the tough time you've been having of late, I truly hope it gets better for you soon! As you ar a relative 'newbie' I think the best advise I can give you is to not expect to have it all sorted over night learning to avoid/deal and treat hypo's takes time and energy but you WILL get there, I promise! From what you have written, my solution would be to make sure you are treating correctly whilst at work. It may take a week or 2 to isolate or diagnose when and why the hypo's are happening and you may need to adjust and then re-adjust your doses (which should be done with the help of a DSN at this stage). There is no reason why frequent hypo's should take too much time out of your day if you can treat straight away with jelly babies or similar. I understand the frequency of them is upsetting and annoying but I find if you remove the additional issue of what to eat, it helps to smooth the path somewhat. 15g of quick acting carbs is all you need then test again 15/20 mins later and 15g of quick acting again if your BG hasn't risen. Then a slice of bread or digestive or similar to keep you going. My desk drawer at work is full to the brim of all kinds of tasty snacks for such times, lol!

Chin up, you'll get there

Deb

 

[etmsreec]

I would have expected that your employer has a responsibility to you to make adjustments as necessary because of your disability. I know that we don't like diabetes being considered as a disability, but the truth is that we are disabled with an unseen disability. This is different from someone who's Coeliac, for example, as that is not considered to be an unseen disability.
If you have access to either a legal advice service or to a medical advice service through your work it may be worth contacting them, as well as anything that can be done through Diabetes UK. A referral to an occupational health advisor may be worth considering too if they are supported by your HR department.

 

[Paz21]

Hi I have been a diabetic T1 for 33 years and all my working life I have been bullied by my boss as they all think diabetes is a disabling disease and they dont realise that the more they misunderstand you and bully you the worse you get because you feel insecure and useless and then go down a slippery slope of depression. The HR department are useless and you really cant use the bullying and harrassment protocol as your collegues have to vouch for you.
This makes matters worse.... I tried so many things to help but it never works. Even on a pump which initially helped and Proved everyone wrong about diabetes being a menace it still has not helped as bosses just keep on bullying and you just get out of controll with your diabetes as you don't care and hence you go round in circles.?i say we all help each other be so positive and hit the bosses nerve to say treat us like Normal human beings, be a few minutes sensitive about break times and look at how hard we work and try. I am so fabulous at my job and everyday I tell myself. CONFIDENCE is the key to tackle these evil bosses

 

[yingal2010]

Robbie

When I read your post I honestly wanted to give you a big hug! I also went thru a similar experience to yourself but as I was a contract worker I left the job and reported my boss and her colleague to HR. Having pressures put on you at any time is hard but especially when you've just been diagnosed with a long term illness. I was diagnosed type 1 17 years ago and I'm 28. I still get the right hump at times! It's not going to be something that you get to grips with quickly and that's ok. Take time out and come to terms with what's happened to you. Leave behind your old "normal" and start living your life with the "new normal". The depression can be likened to a bereavement and I honestly think that is the case. Take one day at a time, eat smaller portions more frequently, check your sugar levels and adjust as necessary and get plenty of sleep. What insulin(s) are you on?

All the best
Ying x

 

[tc100]

Hi

You boss should be doing all he/she can to enable you to make the work place an easier environment for you to be in and not more difficult. If he is making life difficult then he is showing discrimanating behaviour and he needs to stop!

You shoiuld point him in the direction of the government web site about bullying in the work place. If you haven't been there then take a look.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/ResolvingWorkplaceDisputes/DiscriminationAtWork/DG_10026670

 

[PSO2012]

Firstly having worked in HR and now working as a professional person in the criminal justice system I have recently had experience of bullying by my boss too. You are covered under the DDA which means that you are entitled to more sickness than other members of staff, the company does not have to discount them but they should be flexible with regards to time off. Try not to get signed off sick though unecessarily (if you are depressed but the GP calls it otherwise) because this will affect your work and they can start proceedings if they feel you cannot do your job. It comes under competancy in your role.

When I was first diagnosed at 34 (Type 2) I had actually had diabetes for at least 2 years prior feeling like c**p all the time and picking up infections here there and everywhere. I was in shock and denial and probably still am (now 37). Anti depressants dont really help, I was prescribed amitryptiline but try not to take them. I started on oral medication and suffered extremely high blood sugar all the time, got admitted to hospital several times and again felt like c**p all whilst working 3 jobs. In the end because I was always feeling ill my boss started making things difficult for me when I asked for an adjustment in my job. I got referred to occupational health - best thing that happened to me as OH came back and agreed with the adjustment, mentioned that I needed extra sick days and flexibility in my role and quoted the new Equality Act. I haven't had any problems with my boss since, in fact he has been quite understanding. I still feel like c**p but just get on with it, I look at it as im alive and have all my arms and legs which in reality others who suffer from diabetes don't, have you read how many people get ampuations on their limbs!

I know its hard but go with the flow, ask to see a diabetes specialist nurse not the GP as they deal with diabetes on a day to day basis and will sit and chat with you about anything thats bothering you - mine are fantastic!

I inject now, not insulin but a drug called Victoza. Ive lost some weight and my Blood sugar is down to between 9 & 12mmol which I feel is great progress for me. I have high blood pressure, bladder problems, arthritis and inflammatory joints and other health problems all caused by diabetes and being overweight. If I let all of these get on top of me, I probably would give up and die - I considered that too, I think we have all been there.

Just know that there are others out there just like you so don't feel to disheartened, try and find a relaxation technique to help with the stress, swimming or yoga is great, but remember try to get to see the specialist nurse in your surgery as they will help you. I had a needle phobia and cried like a baby when I was told I had to inject, now it takes me two seconds and I think nothing of it thanks to my special nurse's technique.

I found it was also useful to tell my colleagues I had diabetes as they were there to support me when I was having a bad day which is normally quite frequent, they are all very understanding.

Good luck and keep your chin up!

 

[mum2]

HI,
So sorry about all the problems you've been experiencing. This might sound trite, but hang on in there, it will get better. As someone mentioned above, you need to get some legal advice on your position. You might also need to look into a DAFNE course to help curb the number of hypos you experience.
I went through a phase of being bullied at work as well-- only difference was, I was working as a midwife and the bully was my manager, another midwife who was a T2! I really do empathise with your situation.
You might also want to look into Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to help with the depression, as it appears to be reactionary ie: as a reaction to the recent awful experiences in your life.
Your boss sounds like he needs educating-- have you thought about getting some leaflets about T1 from your GP's surgery and just leaving them say, on the table in the common room? He also sounds like he needs a kick up the you-know-what, but we'll leave that for later!!

 

[Pneu]

As others have said... if you are not getting the support that you need from your boss then you should be in discussion with your HR team... at minimum you should raise a concern so that it's on the record should this escalate any further... this will also protect you some what should your boss be an **** and for instance grade you poorly in annual appraisals and the like. It will be no good if in six months time you say 'ah but I was having problems'.... you need to at least put them on the record now.