im 16 and am finding it hard to find a BF because lads dont like to be around me coz they think im a freak and their not afraid to tell me i just want a BF who will understand me
diabetes and dating
- Thread starter nick214
- Start Date
Nick,boys who think you are a freak are not worth bothering with! You will meet someone one day who will understand about your diabetes and like you for who you are.Have you thought about trying to get someone into school to explain to the class about diabetes.sometimes ignorance is what makes people be nasty about it.
my first girlfriend was type 1 diabetic... this was way way before i was diagnosed with type 1, i was 15... (24 now, diagnosed at 22).
It didn't bother me in the slightest!! I remember her telling me before we started going out in a letter (how sweet lol) and i could see from what she'd written that it was hard for her to tell me.
Anyway... dont worry, you will find someone who it doesn't bother them... and they will be the person who's worth it. At the end of the day, i know this sounds REALLY boring... but you're only 16... still very young, are you going to college? you will find that people in college after school mature very quickly, and you'll meet new people, you'll be suprised!
It's very cliché, but if you stop looking for a boyfriend... someone will turn up, and who ever that is will most likely be the one chasing you, at which point, they wont mind about you being diabetic because if they like you enough... it wont bother them!
It didn't bother me in the slightest!! I remember her telling me before we started going out in a letter (how sweet lol) and i could see from what she'd written that it was hard for her to tell me.
Anyway... dont worry, you will find someone who it doesn't bother them... and they will be the person who's worth it. At the end of the day, i know this sounds REALLY boring... but you're only 16... still very young, are you going to college? you will find that people in college after school mature very quickly, and you'll meet new people, you'll be suprised!
It's very cliché, but if you stop looking for a boyfriend... someone will turn up, and who ever that is will most likely be the one chasing you, at which point, they wont mind about you being diabetic because if they like you enough... it wont bother them!
My husband has a very much younger sister and when she was a teenager ( and we were, already married, adults in her life) she complained all the time that her eldest brother scared away all her boyfriends. Big brother's reply to her was that one day one would come who wouldn't be scared away. This year they celebrated their 26the wedding anniversaryand we're all very close.
thanks guys you've made me feel a lot better and i think i will stop looking, i was up set today coz i sit nxt to this boy in maths and he asked me if he could catch diabetes and when i asked him if it mattered he said 'yes' coz he said he would move, i told him no you cant then he started been all nice to me i wasnt impressed!!
Nick,you're going to come across a lot like that! The best thing is not to get defensive but just to answer the questions in a matter of fact way.When they see that you don't make a big thing about it then they probably won't either.There's a bit of you that doesn't work properly so it needs outside help i.e. insulin and you can't eat everything like they do.
Nick, the girl I fell in love with was so special to me that I couldn't bring myself to tell her I had type 1 diabetes. I was certain she'd think I was defective and would simply walk away.
I worried about it a great deal until eventually I realised that she would have to find out somehow if we were to be together. One evening I finally plucked up the courage to tell her and braced myself for what I thought was the inevitable outcome.
Instead, she gave me the best kiss of my life. We've been married for 16 years now.
All the best in life and love,
fergus
I worried about it a great deal until eventually I realised that she would have to find out somehow if we were to be together. One evening I finally plucked up the courage to tell her and braced myself for what I thought was the inevitable outcome.
Instead, she gave me the best kiss of my life. We've been married for 16 years now.
All the best in life and love,
fergus
don't even worry about telling anyone you have diabetes. i find that people are often interested and never afraid/rude etc.
everyone normally knows a few people with diabetes nowadays (dad, sister, mate etc.) so should should see telling someone about it the same as if you were telling them you have blue eyes or size 7 feet - not that you have the plague! if you do have the plague keep it quiet
:?
i first got diabetes at 13 and didn't have any problems with telling people at school etc. although one lad thought it was similar to leprosy. he wasn't too bright!
everyone normally knows a few people with diabetes nowadays (dad, sister, mate etc.) so should should see telling someone about it the same as if you were telling them you have blue eyes or size 7 feet - not that you have the plague! if you do have the plague keep it quiet
:? i first got diabetes at 13 and didn't have any problems with telling people at school etc. although one lad thought it was similar to leprosy. he wasn't too bright!
It is amazing how much ignorance that people have about diabetes (as well as many other aspects of health, medicine and science for that matter). It is only natural that people are apprehensive about things that they don't understand - fear of the unknown is a very fundamental human instinct. Another basic instinct is a reluctance for people to admit to anything that is perceived as a weakness, and an incurable disease could be seen to be that. The reason that you get prejudice is a vicious cycle - many diabetics are afraid to talk about it publicly, and because they don't talk about it the resulting mystery fuels people's ignorance. You can break this cycle by talking about it honestly and openly. Tell people that it isn't a disease at all - it is a condition, no different from needing glasses to see properly or being allergic to nuts. Most people are decent at heart, and if you can dispel their ignorance then you will also dispel their fear of the unknown, and if you do that then they will probably be understanding and supportive. When I was a couple of years older than you, I had a good friend who was a T1 diabetic - she never hid it, was completely accepted by our circle of friends - that was just a part of who she was.
If any potential boyfriend is insensitive enough to be put off by this sort of condition then, trust me, you are better off without him. Nice guys won't care.
Good Luck,
Tim.
If any potential boyfriend is insensitive enough to be put off by this sort of condition then, trust me, you are better off without him. Nice guys won't care.
Good Luck,
Tim.
Anyone worth dating will CARE, but in a good way, i wouldn't be offended if questions were asked... even really simple questions... if they are inquizative about it it's the perfect time to educate them so they UNDERSTAND you and how you deal with it. There is a fine line i think between someone who is plain rude about it and narrow minded, and someone who is genuinely interesting in the subject as they dont know much about it.
It's not just that people don't understand about diabetes, but also that the press are making everyone think it's a punishment for bad diet and being overweight. they never mention T1 and since we have a generation of overweight children, it's all scaremongering. Being large is almost a crime in this modern Britain and just look at all the magazines with skinny women on the covers. Even their supposed weights are there. I only ever see the covers in the checkout queue, but can imagine what's inside. I even saw one recently, where a girl was said to be over 8 stone and was described as having gained weight. these magazines obviously sell on this rubbish, so how can we blame kids for behaving like scared mice?
I don't buy these magazines, but I see pictures of women thinner than those who survived Nazi concentrationcamps! and is supposed to be desirable.
I don't buy these magazines, but I see pictures of women thinner than those who survived Nazi concentrationcamps! and is supposed to be desirable.
thanks again guys every time i raed a message from some one like me i feel a lot better,
SO HERE'S A BIG THANK YOU
SO HERE'S A BIG THANK YOU
