Sadness surrounding taking my first injectable pen

[brainnotyetdead]

I've just taken my first Insulin Injection Pen, 14 units of Humulin M3 - my Libreview data showed elevated glucose levels up to 27 mmols/l.

I feel so emotional and I'm trying not to panic.

I feel like a failure. I haven't been able to control my blood sugars - and now I have to take Insulin.

I desperately want to come off it (at some point), but I have a suspicion that it's going to be unlikely, I feel in the dark about it, and what the prognosis is. I understand that there's an element of "wait and see" and "everyone is different", but it would be good to find somewhere that maybe can help define it a bit more, give expectations etc.

I've also watched my Mother go through taking Insulin, and it certainly wasn't a pretty sight, and so all of those memories are resurfacing today. I am reminding myself that my Mother's experience is not going to be mine, but it's hard because I haven't witnessed a good experience.

I am trying to re-frame everything today, make it more positive, but there's so much sadness surrounding it today for me.

 

[JAT1]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I am type 1 and my experience is that insulin takes time to get used to, because you have to learn about how the food you eat affects how much insulin you need, as well as how other circumstances such as exercise, sleep, stress, attitude etc factor in. Everyone is different. It's a personal journey but worth the effort when I think I would be dead by now if I weren't taking it. High blood sugars, especially over an extended period of time are a cause for feeling down, sad and depressed for many, and I'm one of them.

 

[Mark Rawlinson]

Here goes my Hba1c when diagnosed was 129 (yes that is right) after 5 weeks of metformin it had gone down to 99 however the amount of side effects I was getting from Metformin I asked to go on Insulin. I have now been on insulin for 4 weeks. I was nervous first testing blood and even ore nervous about injecting. Not a problem I am using Toujeo solo star and have risen from 10 units to now 16. My readings are coming down and todays was the lowest ever (yes I realise more depends on my next Hba1c) however I am very pleased with the insulin, Please do not get upset over this things will change in time
I still regard myself as new to this

 

[VashtiB]

Hi @brainnotyetdead

Really cool user name.

I get it- I have controlled my levels by way of a keto diet for a while now- about 6 years. My levels are good but I struggle from time to time with keto- before my diagnosis I ate red meat rarely- I eat it a lot more now but it's still not my preferred meal.

What keeps me on keto (at least most of the time) is the thought of needing insulin. I'm needle phobic- a lot. I self fund cgms from time to time so I could stop the regular testing multiple times a day. It's expensive but it avoids the needle.

However, that aside I do not believe that needing insulin is a failure- humans are complex beings- we need to do what we need to do to keep our levels at the 'normal' range- if that means insulin then that's okay. It needs to be something we can sustain at the time.

So you are not a failure and no one here thinks you are. You haven't been able to control your levels- that happens to a lot with life and things like stress being outside of your control. It doesn't mean it will always be outside of your control.

Take a breathe- do what you need to for now. Take advantage of the fact that have things like insulin.

Take care of yourself. You are not a failure.