Sadness surrounding taking my first injectable pen

[brainnotyetdead]

I've just taken my first Insulin Injection Pen, 14 units of Humulin M3 - my Libreview data showed elevated glucose levels up to 27 mmols/l.

I feel so emotional and I'm trying not to panic.

I feel like a failure. I haven't been able to control my blood sugars - and now I have to take Insulin.

I desperately want to come off it (at some point), but I have a suspicion that it's going to be unlikely, I feel in the dark about it, and what the prognosis is. I understand that there's an element of "wait and see" and "everyone is different", but it would be good to find somewhere that maybe can help define it a bit more, give expectations etc.

I've also watched my Mother go through taking Insulin, and it certainly wasn't a pretty sight, and so all of those memories are resurfacing today. I am reminding myself that my Mother's experience is not going to be mine, but it's hard because I haven't witnessed a good experience.

I am trying to re-frame everything today, make it more positive, but there's so much sadness surrounding it today for me.

 

[JAT1]

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. I am type 1 and my experience is that insulin takes time to get used to, because you have to learn about how the food you eat affects how much insulin you need, as well as how other circumstances such as exercise, sleep, stress, attitude etc factor in. Everyone is different. It's a personal journey but worth the effort when I think I would be dead by now if I weren't taking it. High blood sugars, especially over an extended period of time are a cause for feeling down, sad and depressed for many, and I'm one of them.

 

[Mark Rawlinson]

Here goes my Hba1c when diagnosed was 129 (yes that is right) after 5 weeks of metformin it had gone down to 99 however the amount of side effects I was getting from Metformin I asked to go on Insulin. I have now been on insulin for 4 weeks. I was nervous first testing blood and even ore nervous about injecting. Not a problem I am using Toujeo solo star and have risen from 10 units to now 16. My readings are coming down and todays was the lowest ever (yes I realise more depends on my next Hba1c) however I am very pleased with the insulin, Please do not get upset over this things will change in time
I still regard myself as new to this

 

[VashtiB]

Hi @brainnotyetdead

Really cool user name.

I get it- I have controlled my levels by way of a keto diet for a while now- about 6 years. My levels are good but I struggle from time to time with keto- before my diagnosis I ate red meat rarely- I eat it a lot more now but it's still not my preferred meal.

What keeps me on keto (at least most of the time) is the thought of needing insulin. I'm needle phobic- a lot. I self fund cgms from time to time so I could stop the regular testing multiple times a day. It's expensive but it avoids the needle.

However, that aside I do not believe that needing insulin is a failure- humans are complex beings- we need to do what we need to do to keep our levels at the 'normal' range- if that means insulin then that's okay. It needs to be something we can sustain at the time.

So you are not a failure and no one here thinks you are. You haven't been able to control your levels- that happens to a lot with life and things like stress being outside of your control. It doesn't mean it will always be outside of your control.

Take a breathe- do what you need to for now. Take advantage of the fact that have things like insulin.

Take care of yourself. You are not a failure.

 

[Louise12216]

I've just taken my first Insulin Injection Pen, 14 units of Humulin M3 - my Libreview data showed elevated glucose levels up to 27 mmols/l.

I feel so emotional and I'm trying not to panic.

I feel like a failure. I haven't been able to control my blood sugars - and now I have to take Insulin.

I desperately want to come off it (at some point), but I have a suspicion that it's going to be unlikely, I feel in the dark about it, and what the prognosis is. I understand that there's an element of "wait and see" and "everyone is different", but it would be good to find somewhere that maybe can help define it a bit more, give expectations etc.

I've also watched my Mother go through taking Insulin, and it certainly wasn't a pretty sight, and so all of those memories are resurfacing today. I am reminding myself that my Mother's experience is not going to be mine, but it's hard because I haven't witnessed a good experience.

I am trying to re-frame everything today, make it more positive, but there's so much sadness surrounding it today for me.

Hi, due to the forum issues I have only just been able to see it again today. I know how you feel, I felt a complete failure when I was moved onto insulin. When first diagnosed over 14 years ago now, I did everything ‘right’. In fact I lost weight brought my aC1 down by diet and exercise alone and kept that going for about 3 years then my levels crept up and suddenly it was time for tablets. But it’s hard to get your head around the fact you are 5 stone lighter and more active than you were but it’s getting worse. Over time I was put on more tablets which affected my weight as in I put it on again - each time I resisted change. I finally agreed to go on insulin 3 years ago starting on the Humilin M3 like you. However, it wasn’t the right regime for me and I had a hard time controlling my numbers, in the end I was referred to the hospital and Endocrinologist and a wonderful understanding DSN put me on a basal and bolus regime, got me a CGM on prescription and gave me all the support I needed. Recently I went to the Doctor about something and came out with a prescription for blood pressure tablets - which left me feeling confused as well as completely feeling like a failure again - the issue I went in with about my ear didn’t even get a look in it’s like oh your x age now you need blood pressure tablet for preventive measures. What I am saying is, sometimes no matter what we do our bodies are going to do their own thing! and no your not a failure!

 

[Grant_Vicat]

I've just taken my first Insulin Injection Pen, 14 units of Humulin M3 - my Libreview data showed elevated glucose levels up to 27 mmols/l.

I feel so emotional and I'm trying not to panic.

I feel like a failure. I haven't been able to control my blood sugars - and now I have to take Insulin.

I desperately want to come off it (at some point), but I have a suspicion that it's going to be unlikely, I feel in the dark about it, and what the prognosis is. I understand that there's an element of "wait and see" and "everyone is different", but it would be good to find somewhere that maybe can help define it a bit more, give expectations etc.

I've also watched my Mother go through taking Insulin, and it certainly wasn't a pretty sight, and so all of those memories are resurfacing today. I am reminding myself that my Mother's experience is not going to be mine, but it's hard because I haven't witnessed a good experience.

I am trying to re-frame everything today, make it more positive, but there's so much sadness surrounding it today for me.

As others have said, you are definitely not a failure. When I first owned a glucometer in 1979 it taught me a huge amount about how our bodies react chemically in seconds. Insulin is central to all our actions, including thought. But if it's compromised in any way, such as Type2 insulin resistance, adjustments are not as exact and instant as in a non-diabetic. It is this, I think that makes diabetes a challenge. I wish you well.