Hi. Happy new year! I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I was with for 6 years. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in may 2011 and also have rheumatoid arthritis which was diagnosed in June 2012. As my life has changed so much it put a huge strain on the relationship. I think she struggled to understand how much is involved in maintaining good control on both conditions. Anyway. I'm just looking for advice on when tell people you have diabetes . Should I keep it to myself for a while or should just tell people from the get go? Any advice much appreciated.
Dating with diabetes
- Thread starter rick85
- Start Date
If you want long term relaionships;
I can only give you the advice I gave a teenaged sister-in-law many years ago, which is " the right one won't be scared off".
She has now been married 30 years to that "right one". Her eldest brother, my husband, made a practice of scaring off her boyfriends!
I have been married 41 to her brother, who developed T1 after we had been married about 2 years.
Relationships which are meant to last usually do.
I would say be honest. You do need your girlfriends to know he situation if you are to spend some time with them. If a relationship prgresses to a sexual one, you may need to take steps to prevent a hypo for instance.
Any girlfriend also needs to know that sometimes a mood change is the fault of blood sugar level rather than your feelings about her.
Hana
PS ignore this for short-term meaningless relationships.
I can only give you the advice I gave a teenaged sister-in-law many years ago, which is " the right one won't be scared off".
She has now been married 30 years to that "right one". Her eldest brother, my husband, made a practice of scaring off her boyfriends!
I have been married 41 to her brother, who developed T1 after we had been married about 2 years.
Relationships which are meant to last usually do.
I would say be honest. You do need your girlfriends to know he situation if you are to spend some time with them. If a relationship prgresses to a sexual one, you may need to take steps to prevent a hypo for instance.
Any girlfriend also needs to know that sometimes a mood change is the fault of blood sugar level rather than your feelings about her.
Hana
PS ignore this for short-term meaningless relationships.
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Hi rick
The way I think about this - is if you dont tell a future possible long term relationship ?
They will find out anyways - as it is 'impossible' to hide the facts or your needs to maintain good control
of the 2 conditions you juggle and deal with in your life.
The saying of honesty is the best policy runs true :thumbup:
I know what you are meaning with it can complicate things and others are to be seen 'if'
they can handle things etc...
Remember when the right one is for you - it wont bother her a 'jot' - she will love you conditions and all
I get 'hopping mad' :evil: with my hubby as he can completely FORGET my conditions as he truly loves me for 'me'
to the point he no longer see's my conditions !!! And I am then forced to 'remind him' duh ... :roll:
If your break up was very recent things will still feel a bit raw ...
Given time - your confidence and expectancy of dating will return with the thrill of fresh new hope to meet
your perfect loving furture partner.
Hope this helps you rick85 .
Anna.
The way I think about this - is if you dont tell a future possible long term relationship ?
They will find out anyways - as it is 'impossible' to hide the facts or your needs to maintain good control
of the 2 conditions you juggle and deal with in your life.
The saying of honesty is the best policy runs true :thumbup:
I know what you are meaning with it can complicate things and others are to be seen 'if'
they can handle things etc...
Remember when the right one is for you - it wont bother her a 'jot' - she will love you conditions and all
I get 'hopping mad' :evil: with my hubby as he can completely FORGET my conditions as he truly loves me for 'me'
to the point he no longer see's my conditions !!! And I am then forced to 'remind him' duh ... :roll:
If your break up was very recent things will still feel a bit raw ...
Given time - your confidence and expectancy of dating will return with the thrill of fresh new hope to meet
your perfect loving furture partner.
Hope this helps you rick85 .
Anna.
Good question.
I know illness and conditions put people off , especially around my age, but the right person should accept you.
I wouldn't tell the person straight away but if feelings grow you have to open up because it's part of your life.
I know illness and conditions put people off , especially around my age, but the right person should accept you.
I wouldn't tell the person straight away but if feelings grow you have to open up because it's part of your life.
Hi Rick
Sorry to hear of your break-up, at least it looks like you are moving in the right direction thinking of dating again hope you have a lot of fun.
As far as the Diabetes is concerned I think it would be very difficult to hide, even on a first date. What if you go for a meal, I mean you could scurry off to the bogs to test and inject.....but why should you have to. If someone does not except you for who you are right from the word go then compatibility is not there to be honest.
If Diabetes would put perspective partners off then at least you would find out early doors without trying to hide it, them getting to like you , you getting to like them, and then for some sorry reason it would put them off when they found out further along the line.....and Sheesh! The stress of trying to hide an integral part of your life.
I'd let them know from the first date, and if they get their blood testing kit out and plonk it on the restaraunt table....then way-hey!
Hope all goes well
Sorry to hear of your break-up, at least it looks like you are moving in the right direction thinking of dating again
hope you have a lot of fun.As far as the Diabetes is concerned I think it would be very difficult to hide, even on a first date. What if you go for a meal, I mean you could scurry off to the bogs to test and inject.....but why should you have to. If someone does not except you for who you are right from the word go then compatibility is not there to be honest.
If Diabetes would put perspective partners off then at least you would find out early doors without trying to hide it, them getting to like you , you getting to like them, and then for some sorry reason it would put them off when they found out further along the line.....and Sheesh! The stress of trying to hide an integral part of your life.
I'd let them know from the first date, and if they get their blood testing kit out and plonk it on the restaraunt table....then way-hey!
Hope all goes well
Personally, I've never had a problem dating with diabetes. Yes, I have to inject or blood test at what could be an awkward time (middle of the night hypos etc), but, I've always been honest with it. Not every partner has been particularly interested, however, I've been in a relationship for just over 2 years now, I told him before we started going out and he's always been intererested to learn about it and he's never complained or had any issue with my middle of the night blood tests or taking me home when I've had ketones and been throwing up. I even forgot my insulin pens once and he drove me the 30 miles back to my house so I could pick them up.
As people have said, the right person won't have an issue.
Some people don't understand, but there are a lot of people willing to learn. It's a part of you and your life, if someone has an issue with it then they aren't the right person.
As people have said, the right person won't have an issue.
Some people don't understand, but there are a lot of people willing to learn. It's a part of you and your life, if someone has an issue with it then they aren't the right person.
Despite being happily married for 52 years I recently met up with an old flame, "Windy" Murgatrude Oakhampton-Woodcock.
After a few clandestine meetings at the local chippy "The Codfather" (I do not believe in parsimonious behaviour in these matters) we decided to book a caravan for a night on the canal wharf. A pleasant evening was spent watching the rats eat the bread we had thrown out for the ducks and the frost that formed on the windows was very pretty. The sleeping arrangements were basic and the thiness of the quilt meant we had to sleep fully clothed, even with the spare blanket hung up to the large window the kettle froze on the hob. Then the gas cylinder ran out and the office was, by this time,shut.
Any attempt at sexual congress was ruled out by "Windy" she claimed it was to cold, secretly I was glad, I knew the cold would affect my performance and anyway I didn't think we would both fit on the single bunk.
In the morning we found a transport cafe that was open and ate a hearty breakfast and six mugs of tea.
At no time did I mention my diabetes, high blood pressure, deafness, hemorroides, and other minor illnesses.
It is not what a gentleman should do.
H
After a few clandestine meetings at the local chippy "The Codfather" (I do not believe in parsimonious behaviour in these matters) we decided to book a caravan for a night on the canal wharf. A pleasant evening was spent watching the rats eat the bread we had thrown out for the ducks and the frost that formed on the windows was very pretty. The sleeping arrangements were basic and the thiness of the quilt meant we had to sleep fully clothed, even with the spare blanket hung up to the large window the kettle froze on the hob. Then the gas cylinder ran out and the office was, by this time,shut.
Any attempt at sexual congress was ruled out by "Windy" she claimed it was to cold, secretly I was glad, I knew the cold would affect my performance and anyway I didn't think we would both fit on the single bunk.
In the morning we found a transport cafe that was open and ate a hearty breakfast and six mugs of tea.
At no time did I mention my diabetes, high blood pressure, deafness, hemorroides, and other minor illnesses.
It is not what a gentleman should do.
H
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Honesty is always the best policy IMHO, although you don't have to necessarily mention it on the first date it is best to discuss your health at some point, if they are truly attracted to you and love you for who you are then they will see beyond any medical conditions you may have.
Good luck on the dating and best wishes for 2013 :thumbup:
Good luck on the dating and best wishes for 2013 :thumbup:
