Please help feeling so low and sad.

[aaronjunited]

I have been diabetic (type 1) almost two years now and ever since being diagnosed my life has plummeted downwards and really only one good thing has happened to me since then that i can remember. Over the last week or more I have had this increasing feeling of sadness and loss of interest for anything I do. I have been using an incident that happened with my kids flooding the bathroom and saying that I'm repairing the ceiling so I don't have to go to work. The incident did happen I'm just using this as an excuse.

I recently started the new job over a month a go, this is the only good thing to happen to me since being diagnosed, I was out of a job for over year and these feelings I'm having now have been there a lot of times before that throughout the whole period of unemployment. I lay in bed last night and thought about seeing my kids, I cried myself to sleep for the first time in years, I keep telling myself I need to go to work but something inside is telling me no, its so hard to explain.

I have rejected a few friends invitations to go out with them over the weekend, even family members also, I feel so low and hopeless and feel confused about everything I do and think about.

I never told my employer that I have type 1 as before hand any job I applied for, I was being truthful saying I had diabetes and never getting an interview for any of them. I applied for countless jobs and finally I never told this employer and got the job.

I don't know what to do, diabetes has caused all sorts of problems with my life since being diagnosed and I think I'm still in shock that I am in fact a diabetic.

Anyone relate to me?

Aaron.

 

[Sharon Guy]

First: Please understand that you are not alone - countless of us on this site have had are low times - I am myself currently on antidepressants.

Second: Go and see your GP and get some help - this low wil not last forever but while it does you need help and support.

Third: Feel free to share on here - you will be supported by us to the best of our ability.

Fourth: Dont beat yourself up - get some help, find a course or a good diabetes book (Diabetes for Dummies is good and others may have recommendations) find out all you can about your diabetes and take it seriously - it is possible to live a near normal life once you get your head around it all.

I hope this helps a bit and no doubt others will add their own thoughts to this.

 

[aaronjunited]

Thank you for quick reply and kindness/support.

I am planning on seeing my doctor tomorrow, i just dont want to tell work that I'm doing that and continue to use the incident that happened with my kids.

As i was reading your reply, I noticed i just kept taking deep sighs of i duno, i'm not really making sense here lol, but I'm down in the dumps and think I have been for a long time.

May I ask why you are on antidepressants? Do you have type 1 also?

Thanks again.

 

[noblehead]

Hi Aaron,

I think your doing the right thing seeing your gp, there's a correlation between depression and diabetes unfortunately but there is help available and no one needs to suffer in silence, if you are struggling with your diabetes control then talking things through with your diabetes care team will also help.

Welcome to the forum btw

 

[aaronjunited]

Thanks noblehead, seeing my GP is something i rarely do and tell myself I don't need to do. I struggle with my diabetes and life in it self I think. I'm glad there are people on here who can relate to me and offer advice and talk to me like you's have done.

I will continue to update this thread I suppose, as it's somewhere I feel I can talk more openly.

 

[Sharon Guy]

No - I am Type 2 since the birth of my daughter who is eight next month. I am treated with insulin as diet and Metformin were not enough - probably because I was in denial. I have been on insulin for nearly a year and I am only just getting my head around it all but things are improving.

I am depressed partly because of some stuff from childhood but also because of the diabetes. I kinda feel like I was just getting my life together and now I have to radically change so much to fit in with diabetes. BUT having discovered this place I am learning that it is possible to make diabetes fit in with life and not the other way around. It just takes more care and vigilance and preparation than the non diabetics put it.

I am still very down but the antidepressants are beginning to kick in which has raised me enough to begin to get to grips with the diabetes and carb counting and insulin injections four times a day. I am beginning to understand that my glucose levels are actually under my control to a large degree.

I am due to start counselling in a few weeks and I am hopeful that this will take me onto the next level.

No-one will ever tell you that living with diabetes is easy peasy but it is possible to LIVE with diabetes and not just exist.

 

[aaronjunited]

Yea I understand what your saying, getting the head round it all and letting it sink in is maybe the only way to accept it fully.

I am indecisive about a lot of things right now, my mum says I should just go to work, I know I need to work, but something inside is telling me different and I feel I cant go into the working environment feeling like this.

Am I wrong to not want to put myself in the working environment at this time and how I'm feeling at this time.
Some people will say just get on with it but as I say, I'm so confused and don't want to put myself in that position.

Sounds weird and pathetic but its the way I'm feeling.

 

[Sharon Guy]

Everyone reacts differently and no-one can tell you how to feel or what to do. You need to take care of you - be honest with yourself and those who are tasked with caring for you - your professional team and take the steps you need to to begin to get well.

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

 

[Robinredbreast]

Yea I understand what your saying, getting the head round it all and letting it sink in is maybe the only way to accept it fully.

I am indecisive about a lot of things right now, my mum says I should just go to work, I know I need to work, but something inside is telling me different and I feel I cant go into the working environment feeling like this.

Am I wrong to not want to put myself in the working environment at this time and how I'm feeling at this time.
Some people will say just get on with it but as I say, I'm so confused and don't want to put myself in that position.

Sounds weird and pathetic but its the way I'm feeling.

Hi sorry to hear of your problems

I've had Type 1 for over 20 years, gone through some really awful times, but always pushed myself with sheer determination and wilpower to overcome the horrible times ( not all Diabetes related) .

Regarding work, you should tell your employer of a chronic medical condition, as withholding this information could put your safety and wellbeing at risk and if your emploer finds out, then you may not come across as the most honest and trustworthy employee.

Have you thought of writing in a dairy, 1) to get your feelings down on paper and 2) to see if there is a pattern?

Also, we have a fantastic inspirational thread here, have to had a look at it, someof the quotes are truly inspirational. Or you have a word with your GP about how you are feeling.

You are in my thoughts and I wish you well.

RRB ):

 

[TonyTruthful]

Aaron, i didn't tell my employer and it took a while for them to find out. When they did I just acted cool and that it wasn't that much of a big deal. That was it, they didn't even bat an eyelid, if your cool and confident about it and act as if there is nothing wrong then that will rub off on them. Besides it isnt reportable, you don't get DLA, new equality act etc.

Now having D is s***. S*** stinks unfortunately. You can't wollow around in your own self pitty all of the time (I do this and sometimes on this forum )

You just have to suck it up and deal with it. It's rubbish I know and we all have these times and I prob won't make 50 blah blah but this the hand you have been delt and that is that.

Just try and keep yourself in the best health you can and get on with it. They make lengths and breths in treatments all the time nowadays.

Stay strong brother

TT

 

[GlazedDoughnuts]

Honestly, on the flip side my T1 diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to me, my moods got a lot better, I can actually take on strenuous physical tasks , I learnt to understand my self.

It's all about seeing the silver lining, diabetes isn't all that bad, take your Insulin and things will work out for you. It becomes a part of life, something that you won't even notice soon enough.

Just stick to a balanced diet, do what you need to do and forget about the fact that you've self labelled yourself as a 'diabetic' do not place diabetes on a pedestal, there's no need

Chin up dude, trust me there's a lot of people in MUCH worse situations

 

[Lucyturner]

Hi I get this all the time I am type 1 and I can go from giddy to tears in a matter of minutes. I agree with the others speak to your gp, I take anti-depressants as part of my HER but they are more to stop the hot flushes. Find someone you can talk to whether it is a friend or family member or someone on here you don't even need to make sense you just need to let it out and you will feel better we are all here to listen anytime.

I'm a 29 year old type 1 diabetic who went through the menopause at 19 believe me I understand mood swings.

Lucy

 

[donnellysdogs]

The gp will probably give you set wuestions to answer.. Questions on whether you still take the same care with your appearance etc to determine if you are depressed.
If you are cutting diwn on socialising too, that is a sign of depression.

I have had horrible bouts of depression, some linked to constant, as was, injections, bloodtests etc. and in addition living with so much pain.

Also it is a recognised thing about new jobs that you feel great initially.. And then as you learn the job and do it that your feelings can dive downward... But it has also been recognised that thise feelings go back upward the longer you stay at the job.

You have had huge changes, that aren't easy so seeing your gp is a good thing.. Tell gp how you are feeling...
You've done the right thing to see GP.
Some gp's offer counselling, courses, as well as tablets... I had them all, and this forum, and friends from this forum and a very special friend in Wales that saw me through my most blackest of times I have ever experienced.

Still here, and honestly... Happy.

I hope you will be too soon.

 

[ConradJ]

Hi Aaron,

Check out the section on Diabetes and Emotions here on the Diabetes.co.uk website - it's full of useful information and should help you work out what you're dealing with. http://www.diabetes.co.uk/emotions/index.html

I've also found that drab winter months have tended to get me down (I believe that lower Vitamin D levels have been attributed to diabetes), and this may have contributed to your feelings of despair, etc.

Personally, this winter has been particularly hard to deal with as the best part of last year seemed to consist of bleary, drab, grey days. By accident, my wife offered me the remainder of her pack of Vitamin D3 tablets (available from Holland and Barratt) in February and I have found that my mood has improved hugely since taking them.

Vitamin D3 is the form of Vitamin D that is produced by the skin through sunlight - of which the UK has been sorely lacking over the past year.

Best wishes - and don't give up.

Conrad