What's wrong with me?

megan01234

Member
Messages
6
Bit dubious about this as i find this pretty hard to talk about but it's long over due and I really need some help... So I'm young and appear pretty healthy, not over weight, pretty petite if anything. I have a part time job that I enjoy and earn my own money, I'm studying for a degree that's going pretty well. I'm in a long term relationship which is going really well and seem to have everything pretty sorted... Except the big elephant in the room. I don't understand how I just can't deal with my diabetes. I've had it for 7 years now which is a pretty long time and just can't get it sorted. It's as if I've tried to forget about it for so long that I genuinely now forget. I've tried setting phone alarms and asking people to remind me but nothing works. I forget to test and inject and do not take any notice of what I eat. I think emotionally I've given up. I can't even stand it being mentioned anymore and snap at anyone who brings it up. Any advice?
 

Emmielou79

Newbie
Messages
1
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Have you talked this through with your diabetic nurse/consultant? They may suggest a pump to help you. I'm being assessed for one now (the omnipod). It's so small, it's wireless and waterproof.


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carty

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,379
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Hi Megan
I am type2 and probably old enough to be your Granny but I am going to suggest anyway! Does your boyfriend know about your DB if not why not tell him ,if he cares he will want to help and then you can get him to help ,if you both have a look on this forum at the advice Daisy posts (I am sure she will be along soon) and make it a joint project to get your DB under control . Caring for someone means sharing the good things and the not so good and communication is the secret to a happy relationship. OK granny talk over .Take care of yourself
CAROL
 

daisy1

Legend
Messages
26,457
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Dislikes
Cruelty towards animals.
Hi Megan and welcome to the forum :)

Here is the basic information which we give to new members (which Carol mentioned) and I hope you will find it useful. Ask all the questions you need to and someone will help.


BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find well over 30,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

  • Reduce your carbohydrate intake
  • Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates
Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes ... rains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes
  • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l
Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)
  • Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l
Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)
  • Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
  • 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l
However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips
The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

  • structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
  • self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to blood glucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.
 

megan01234

Member
Messages
6
Thanks for the reply, I was really nervous to post something on here and feel much better now just for posting something.

My boyfriend knows I've got it but have only been with him for a year so he's only ever known me whilst I've been poorly controlled. As he is extremely healthy and doesn't have any health problems he (quite understandably) forgets about it like i do. I think I tried for so long to hide it from people when I was a teen that now I act as if I don't have it. I know it's my own fault but I really can't break the vicious cycle I'm in. Thanks for your reply.
 

megan01234

Member
Messages
6
And the pumps scare me.. I know it sounds vain but I'm so desperate not to look ill and i would be scared that people would notice my pump
 

carty

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,379
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
You say your boyfriend is very healthy ,all the more reason to ask for his help ( Men love to take on the role of looking after the little woman :D ) .Sometimes its good to let them think that Dont tell my husband Ive only had him for nearly 50 years :wink:
CAROL
 

eveshamgal

Well-Known Member
Messages
126
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just in denial. It took me a long time from diagnosis and the threat of being put on insulin for me to take my condition seriously.

I used to forget to take my tablets because I didn't 'feel ill'. Since reading these forums and adopting things like a low carb diet I am hoping can stave off insulin for a while yet

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megan01234

Member
Messages
6
Asin to the eye you'd think I was normal but my blood sugar level is high all day everyday as I forgot to test and inject. I drink and go to the toilet incessantly. I get every illness going at the moment and my hba1c is above 14. I've avoided the hospital for a year as I know it will now be greater. All the while I know running at these levels will be doing serious harm to my body.
Carol - I probably should talk to him more about it but I always get scared about making myself seem needy and as stupid as it sounds I feel diabetes it's pretty Un-attractive. I know he cares and obviously wouldn't want anything to happen to me like for me to loose my eye sight or something horrible but still I get embarrassed dragging him to hospital and doctor appointments. I know I sound very young and naive but for some reason I'm embarrassed by it all.
Megan
 
Messages
24
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Hi Megan :)

It certainly seems like (as eveshamgirl has said) you are in denial. However, I think the fact that you are posting on here and opening up about it here, is very encouraging and shows that you are starting to feel ready to at least try and face up to your condition. Your elephant in the room is clearly there and making you scared of the consequences if you don't deal with it soon.

So... what next? Well I think you should be the judge of that, I sense you would like to share it with your boyfriend, though obviously you are worried about the consequences, but I would think that if he cares about you, he would want you to look after your health, and it might well bring out the protector in him, in a good way. And of course, you need to go back to the hospital and find out what the damage is and what you can do about. The thought of doing both at once maybe a bit too overwhelming for you at this stage, but maybe if you can start with one of them first, whichever feels at least slightly less intimidating, and then maybe if that goes well, you will be encouraged towards other steps towards getting your condition under control.

Very best of luck to you.
 

Mr Happy

Well-Known Member
Messages
231
Quick answer, potentially its depression. You appear to be quite happy with your life, telling us how happy you are, but sometimes this can disguise an anxiety.

Diabetes will not go away, in fact it is likely to get worse and its yourself you are hurting. I dont wish to sound harsh as i have gone through stages of not looking after myself, dont wait until its too late to help yourself...

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Thundercat

Well-Known Member
Messages
2,406
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I understand about the denial and the hiding it away and the actual forgetting ( its hard to imagine how its possible - but it is) I 've been there too. So many people with diabetes have been there. This forum is a safe place to unburden yourself to let out all the feelings you have bottled up. Vent, rant whatever it takes - just get it out. Guilt and regret about the past will eat you alive. Just dump it here. As to being embarrassed, most people are essentially good and understanding. The one's who are not have no place in your life. At the end of the day you will live with your body for the rest of your life. It is essential to take care of it. You sound like you really want this. Try to put aside what other people do or what you think they'll do. Nothing is more important than taking care of yourself. Nothing. You are the most important person in your own life. Try to share how you feel with your boyfriend and allow him to help you. Keep checking in here anytime you get the notion.

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claymic

Well-Known Member
Messages
503
Type of diabetes
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi Megan
I really understand where you are coming from.i have been diabetic for nearly 10years (t2) and i just cannot accept it. Lots happened in the last 10 years and the ugly D was something i just could not cope with as well. Unlike u i am t2 and overweight but cant seem to stick to a diet etc. And i avoid going for tests because i know they will put mean insulin and that will cause more weight gain..... Wish there was an easy solution....

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noblehead

Guru
Retired Moderator
Messages
23,618
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
Disrespectful people
megan01234 said:
Bit dubious about this as i find this pretty hard to talk about but it's long over due and I really need some help... So I'm young and appear pretty healthy, not over weight, pretty petite if anything. I have a part time job that I enjoy and earn my own money, I'm studying for a degree that's going pretty well. I'm in a long term relationship which is going really well and seem to have everything pretty sorted... Except the big elephant in the room. I don't understand how I just can't deal with my diabetes. I've had it for 7 years now which is a pretty long time and just can't get it sorted. It's as if I've tried to forget about it for so long that I genuinely now forget. I've tried setting phone alarms and asking people to remind me but nothing works. I forget to test and inject and do not take any notice of what I eat. I think emotionally I've given up. I can't even stand it being mentioned anymore and snap at anyone who brings it up. Any advice?


Whatever you do don't despair as many of us have been through what your experiencing Megan.


My thoughts are you have so many things going for you and it does appear that you have a positive attitude to work, studying and your relationship. I'm no expert but all things point to the fact that your still in the denial stage of diabetes... despite you having the condition for 7 years, the best solution is to work (if you can find the time in your busy life :) ) with your gp and diabetes team and find a way round the reasons why you can't deal with or accept your diabetes.

Good luck!!!
 

weeezer

Well-Known Member
Messages
272
Hi Megan

Some fantastic, caring comments here, as usual!

The fact you posted on here shows a desire to tackle your situation. You say you appear healthy etc, but honestly...you need to start taking this disease seriously or you won't have that luxury for much longer. You dont get to choose what gets affected, its like a warped lottery. The longer you let glucose swim around in your bloodstream, the more likely it is that something will go wrong.

However, If you do start taking it seriously and look after your condition, then you CAN carry on appearing 'normal'! Lots of us take care of our diabetes and you wouldnt be able to pick us out as the diabetic in the crowd!

It's just something you've got to do, there isn't much of a choice about it if you want to live as close to normal as you obviously want. I always find when I put a bit of work in (I.e.weigh food so I know the carb content, test before & after food etc) i get the gist for what my requirements are, and I can rely more on my educated guesses. Every now & then when my levels become a bit more out of range I can go back to this & adjust my regime so it suits. (Please don't get the impression I'm perfectly controlled, bg was 12 before tea last night because I'd picked stuff off kids plates & forgot!)

I wouldn't have wanted a pump when I was younger- I wouldn't have wanted it poking out and being on show. But the reality is- they can be hidden quite well! And I don't have to get pens out and inject (not that I ever minded). I enter the carbs(in grams) that I'm about to eat (whether a meal, biscuit, can of coke, banana or mars bar!!!) into the meter and it sends the info to the pump via Bluetooth and delivers it remotely! Magic! So you can 'appear' more 'normal' coz you can bolus when you want, for what you want, and because the basal is always being delivered by tiny amounts 24 hours, you can eat when you like! Or not...sometimes I eat breakfast and tea with no lunch, with little effect on my blood glucose level. You can leave out meals or graze all day. I'm not saying you can't do this on multiple daily injections, but it is easier on a pump. You can lie in and get up at mid day with bg in range.

If this was me...I would get in contact with my dsn, or diabetes team, presuming you have their number? (If you haven't start with gp who can refer you urgently) be completely honest, say you have been having a very hard time and have been in denial and realise you are uncontrolled right now. Ask for honesty- ask what will happen if you continue to ignore it. Say you want to be treated like you have just been diagnosed, that you need all the education you can get. Start at square one. Their concern will be for your health, so should be willing to help you with this.

My husband is very organised (I am not!) and he says he wishes he had it instead, because it would be a priority for him and he'd run it with military precision. For me, I want a normal life, so I 'try' to control diabetes (fail sometimes too), not let it control me. By ignoring it Megan it WILL end up becoming a problem and it WILL end up controlling you by dictating what you can and can't do. DON'T LET IT GET TO THAT! Your boyf sounds like a healthy type, if he had it how would he deal with it? He may be a great support, but it's you who has it so you who needs to go to your appts.

You have to get your head around the fact that anything with carbs in that passes your lips, your body is unable to deal with. Unless you put the insulin in.

I hope I haven't said anything out of line, or scared you. I am concerned about your future if you don't tackle this immediately. You don't have to fathom it all out alone, there are medical professionals whose job it is to help, but they won't come looking for you.

Hope you can see there is a great deal of advice & support on here, use it! NO question is silly. Ask ask ask if there is anything else bothering you.

PLEEEEAAASE don't carry on like you have been...today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Eloise xxx


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donnellysdogs

Master
Messages
13,233
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Dislikes
People that can't listen to other people's opinions.
People that can't say sorry.
Hi Megan

I empathise completely.

You can only do small steps at a time. 1st step you have taken-posting here.

Would you be able to put a blood tester permanently on your pillow? It does remind you to test pre bed and when you get up. My blood tester onmy pillow also set for 3am.. Just a small regular step like that would be a start.

I have remote for my pump so everywhere I go my remote goes too.

I cant lecture on forcing routine testing, But just one more small step is needed.

I would get some free bg meters.. (same ones for the strips from gp) and say leave a meter on my stack of plates in the cupboard. Not a visible reminder permanently on show... But a reminder to test when loading a plate at home.

Would also suggest you talk to gp or dsn, -I had one GP that I could email my readings to, and he encouraged me no end. There are some good and some bad listeners. I actually saw all my gp's at my current practice and opted to see a grossly overweight gp... On the basis he couldnt really lecture me if he is so obese.

You can do it.. Small steps make for big strides!!!!



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megan01234

Member
Messages
6
Thank you for all your support... As silly as it sounds I feel like my diabetes hit me like a brick wall yesterday (7 years late). I know I've got to work on my routine and do anything I can to sort out my control. Thank you for the support I appreciate it so much.

Onwards and upwards! (But downwards with the hba1c)


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william68

Active Member
Messages
31
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I have been diagnosed for a year now it is hard to come to terms with but in the end you have to, I wish you lots of luck and now you are here with us it will help no end I know it did me.