Mood swings

[rocket_queen]

Hi. This is my first time posting and I'm hoping that someone can give me some useful advice. My partner is Type 1 diabetic and has been since he young. We've been together for a few years now.

I've noticed over the last year or so his moods are becoming increasingly irrational, one moment he is happy and laughing and the next down in a dark place where he talks to me terribly and can get quite aggressive. It can literally be over virtually nothing which sets him off. His mum puts it down to the diabetes and says he's always been moody. I'm wondering though if this is the cause. I know diabetics can suffer from mood swings but does this sound like the usual mood swings? I'm very worried and very stressed by our situation. I love him dearly but this is now pushing me to the limits.

Heres hoping someone has some useful advice.

 

[Aadrgon]

Hi and welcome

I don't think the diabetes itself is responsible for the mood swings but having diabetes can sometimes seem very unfair and depressing.
You haven't said how good you're partners control is that might have some bearing on the matter.
It would probably be a good idea to try and get him to go and see his Doctor to see if they can help him.

 

[rocket_queen]

His control of it isnt that great. I try to get him to go for his 6 month check ups but he's very stubborn and just says he'll do it. Of course he doesnt. He's about 3 months over due now..again. He checks his levels a few times a day (mostly) but they tend to be erratic. He had a bad hyper about 3 months back which resulted in a hopsital visit at 2am. I thought he was dead on my bathroom floor. I've never seen anyone so white.

He was diagnosed at 3 years of age and is now 36. I still think he struggles with it. He harbours a lot of resentment about his childhood living with diabetes. He often talks about parents taking their kids of school so they didnt catch his "disease". I cant possibly understand exactly how he feels but I try to do my best.

The mood seems are very erratic and they're tearing our relationship apart.

 

[Aadrgon]

It's very easy to get resentful about being diabetic, I'm a T2 and I suffer from mood swings though fortunately not much - doesn't take much to start them off.
I have found that things are not quite so bad now that I'm starting to be in control more of my diabetes as you start to feel more positive about things.
It migh be worth your reading through the boards on this forum since you are obviously trying to support your partner through this. There is bound to be information in here that will help you.

Is there no way you could arrange to go to the Doctor with him ? or the other possible option is if you both went to Relate. They might be able to help.

Wishing you well

 

[sandymaynard]

Hi there
I was found to be a diabetic a couple of weeks ago! For me it is abig thing!
I can understand where your husband is coming from, as he missed out on so much not being able to do what all his friends did at school!
being made feel uncomfortable by other parents!
I think you need to go and see a doctor and talk to doctor about getting your husband help! I think he is suffering from depression! He does need help of some kind!
I think that the shock must of been a shock for you to find him like that! have you ever told him how you felt when you found him? How much you were scared?
To be honest i can understand that he is going through a rough time with all that is happening! he sounds like he is going through depression!
sandy

 

[Dennis]

Hi Rocket-queen,

The sort of sudden mood swings you describe are more symptomatic of diabetes, particularly low blood sugar levels, than of depression. Suddenly becoming aggressive and irritable are classic symptoms of low blood sugar levels. And from what you have told us, he doesn't seem to be taking care of his diabetes at all so fluctuations from high to low sugars are hardly surprising.

Perhaps the first thing that he needs to do is get himself out of this state of denial that there's anything wrong with him. Unfortunately that is very difficult to do - and more difficult for anyone else to help him with. No amount of describing to people the consequences of their poor control will help them if they just don't want to be helped. You can try but chances are you will just get accused of nagging him! The only thing I can suggest is that you talk to his doctor, so that when he does eventually see him/her then the doc can read him the riot act and leave him in no doubts as to the outcome if he doesn't start to take control.

 

[Lel]

Hi,

I totally agree with everyone else on here, your boyfriend needs help with coming to terms with this disease and also help with getting it into control.

I have had terrible mood swing before when my sugars have been totally erratic and all over the place but as soon as I have them under control then I am as sweet as a nut :lol:

All joking aside he needs to address the fact that he is diabetic and there is nothing he can do about it now but live with it and deal with it accordingly.
It's really sh*t when you are trying to level things out again, there is no other word to describe it, and you feel that no one really understands what you are going through but you soon realise you are part of one big family who knows you more than you expect.

He might feel rubbish about things just now but how will he feel if you leave him and he has to deal with it all on his own.
He isn't being fair taking things out on you and you should give back as good as you get because this man is blaming you for things that only he can control.

get him on here, he needs to realise what a gem you are for coming on here to try and get help for him.or even print out what we have written.

Men are stubborn at the best of times so good luck

xxx

 

[Chanah]

Dr Bernstein is a Type 1 diabetic, and he wrote about the mood swings almost destroying his marriage in his book. A good bit of it is available online, and you might want to take a look at it yourself: http://www.diabetes-book.com/readit.shtml

 

[Shortbread]

Hi there,

Like anyone who has to deal with the control diabetes can have on your life...........it can be very hard to appreciate the good changing your life and taking that control back will do you!


I found it hard the first few days.............I was angry and just didn't want to accept that there were things I just couldn't do, however I then began to appreciate the diagnosis in that rather than the diabetes controlling my life, I could take control and make the changes that not only suited me, but made my life healthier! yes it is easier said than done, its not good when you crave something and just know that it will make you feel like ****.

Looks to me like people are saying it could be either or or even both the diabetes and depression that is affecting your partner. As a counsellor what i would say is that very often life just seems to happen and before we know it we have forgotten who we are and who we want to be. It looks like there are a few dark clouds surrounding your husband and it may do him some good to speak to a counsellor and let him air his frustration, anger, resentment at someone who wont judge, or advise him.Someone who will just listen to what he has to say and help him find a a better way of dealing with all the pent up emotions.Someone who can be there whilst he endures the roller coaster that is his life. I have to say, that I am certainly not saying you don't provide this, but we all know how attached a family member is to the situation and its often easier to really offload to a stranger. I know it may be hard for him to even consider it, but if he perhaps grabs hold of the notion that his life could be better and that both of you could be much happier, then he may just want to try it!!!

Good luck,

Shortbread x

 

[dr.sweet]

this disease i believe has a hand in mood changing , but not always diabetes is the cause, maybe he has some problems .