10 years too late ?

[Chris1993]

I was diagnosed christmas day 2005, coming upto my 10 year mark, im now 22, it doesent feel right me saying these words because in a way its like im playing with my life, i had a heart attack september 2014... Atleast 13 DKA's and an actual warning from a specialist that my life will end in 3 years if i cant learn to control my diabetes, 10 years n still uncontrolled, joke right ? But dont get me wrong its all my own doing, being lazy, well no thats wrong im far from lazy, more dismissal and the reason that ive always told myself is that my brain or my body has never accepted the fact i have this condition for the rest of my life.. My dismissal i guess comes from me, idont know, not wanting to accept the condition ? Its too the extent that i dont fear anythink thats coming my way anymore.. Ive neva been able to speak these words to a human being because my personality and my humour, well i guess people wouldnt expect me to say it so ive bottled it up, i suppose im jus looking for reassurance, ive neva knew who to ask about these things, iknow theres betes clinics and what not but i cant open to them, they see hundreds of people a day with the same condition so why would i be singled out n chose to be supported, i have over thought all of this for the last 4 years struggling to word it, thanks for reading

 

[noblehead]

Hi and welcome to the forum Chris.

That is quite an honest account what you've wrote there and I do hope it has helped somewhat getting it off your chest by sharing it with others, but I do think you'd benefit enormously if your open & honest with your diabetes team too so that they can offer you support & advice, do try to reach out and don't struggle on your own any longer.

Best wishes.

 

[VixyA86]

Hiya what you're going through is unfortunately not uncommon and you're not on your own. I'm 29 and was diagnosed at 14, I did what you're doing and now regret it so much as have several complications that could have been avoided It's never too late to turn it around, I am still battling with my health but am in a much better place than I was a year ago, it's hard but you can do it! Message me if you want to chat privately xx

 

[Rudyard]

Hi Chris - you sound just like me. Now! I was diagnosed about 10 years ago, too - just before my 40th Birthday - I've just turned 50. My Gran,(lived well into her 90s) Mum & Dad all had diabetes and it killed them in their early 70s - so its in the blood (sorry for the pun!) My bloods are not under control at all - I clocked 17 this morning. It's to the point that I'm scared to look. I've considered talking to the Samaritans - weird, because I should talk to my partner, but I don't want the pressure and it seems that no matter what I do, there isn't a favourable reduction in BG levels... I'm booked in to see the doctor and I'm not looking forward to the trip. I cook and I cook well, keep carbs down, fresh stuff every day and never processed foods - but I do love my drink - beers and wine.... And I don't want to give them up. There's lots of advice here, but I could do with someone to talk too. Chris & Vixy - I know how you feel and I wish I could help! I should be old enough and responsible enough, but cannot seem to get that far... Is counselling available? Or do I keep screaming into the void...?