Absolutely terrified now, what do I do?

Jaylee

Oracle
Retired Moderator
Messages
18,214
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Now even I realise I'm getting stupid but for some reason I still can't stop what I'm doing.
I am aiming for non diabetic blood sugars and if I am even slightly out of that range on the high end then there is nothing I can do and I feel so useless that I haven't done better!
Lows feel good to me they make me feel good about myself and I know a lot of you on here know about this but not the full extent to which I inject even if I'm fasting 6.5 because that's a pre diabetic blood sugar and that's not good enough to for me.
When I'm low I don't treat it because I like my body being in that state I feel good about myself for a while and I feel in control.

Yesterday I was out with some friends and I had to leave because my bg was 13.5 for no foreseeable reason I hadn't eaten anything for about 3 hours and my last reading was 6.
I was so scared that it was that high I felt angry with myself and ashamed.
I hate myself with this disease it's stolen me and my life and I want both back and I know lots of diabetics say that don't let the diabetes stop you from doing what you want but it's stopping me big time and I can't control it.

I love lows and I know that sounds strange but I do. Managed correctly lows can keep you clear of long term damage.
I think I have a phobia of highs I'm testing 15 times a day to see if I'm high I've even injected intravenously once! It's what you do when you have a phobia of something you act irrationally about it and will put yourself in danger to avoid it.

I wish that this disease will go away I've had it for 18 months and look at how badly I am managing it! I do hate myself for it


HI,

I'm one of those types at ease when I'm low... Feel almost "cleansed". A lot of years ago i was nagged about numbers.. Not like I'd stolen a car!? I knew my limits. (Or depths.)
However. It can be a little like smoking weed? You may think it helps "creativity"? But nothing actually gets done..
Yep, staying between 4.8/5 & 7.6 is your average non D thing. They seem to do alright at that. I test a fair bit too, to make sure I stay in the same "sweet zone".


3 hours after a meal you were 6. Cool..

If once in a "blue moon" you test at 13.whatever? Look out the window & check the world is still spinning on it's axis, then do an appropriate correction & carry on!
 
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Donna1

Well-Known Member
Messages
170
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Diabetes
I think u need to speak with someone about ur day being taken over by this and i think its quite concerning about u enjoyin ur body being in the state of a hypo. No offense but sounds like a form of self harm????